Does your orgasm feel different when you're with someone VS when you masturbate?

Question

Awkward question, but this one has kept me busy for a while because I was very disappointed in that matter. Technically, I always climaxed when I slept with my boyfriend - but that wasn't really his achievement but rather the fact that penetration alone is enough to get me there. He never did much more. But those orgasms felt so... empty? Hollow? Like, when I'm putting hands on myself, alone in my room, it feels exciting, intense and totally different. I was wondering if it is possible to feel that with your partner for a while because I grew increasingly suspicious, having only ever been with one guy so far. Any thoughts?

ShadezMcgee · Accepted Answer

Yes, there is a difference on both a physical and emotional level.

Physically: masturbation is easier and guaranteed because the person knows what it takes to achieve orgasm 100% without the aid of someone else either guessing or just not being good. On the other hand when you do it with someone you actually like, the orgasms are both stronger and more fulfilling. Best ones I had were with my current girlfriend.

Emotionally: masturbation is a brief high that comes with a sense of shame after the clarity comes. Not as fulfilling as a true one with a partner. On the emotional side it also makes the people involved feel more desired, loved and accepted because it is a bonding process that also comes with shared potential of procreation.

This seems to be an individual problem. On your end it is easier to masturbate because it means you get off without difficulty and you have more fulfillment from that than sharing it with another. It comes down to lack of communication. Does he have a desire and want to get you off to make sure you feel good? If so, teach him how to touch you and get you to that high similar like you do when you masturbate. That is the only way to get that feeling with someone you like.

Now if this guy is selfish and just wants his nut all the while not caring about your pleasure it will be more difficult. You want a partner to care about getting you off like you do them. Because the honest truth is, sexual compatibility is a thing. If one person doesn't feel it and just goes with the flow or doesn't put effort in making sex fun or passionate, that is a quick way to kill a relationship.

For me I struggled with being a late bloomer and overcoming masturbation to achieve ultimate, authentic orgasm. I had sex with a few different women, but the only one I have finished with fully is my current girlfriend. All the others I was able to have sex, but never came and that bothered me. The only reason why I believe this one is different isn't just because of sexual chemistry, but because of her accepting who I was on both a sexual and non sexual core. Do I always finish? No, that happens. But do I achieve orgasm? I do, now more than ever and that is way better than resulting to my hand.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

They are completely different

And it's depending on the guy though probably 87% of guys are going to be selfish and roundabout way when they're having sex with you

Then at 8% to the 87 and that 8% will at least try to make it good for you and then there's 5% that they're going to make it all about you and in that 5%, maybe only two or three can take you to the place that you want to go and that is the moment of becoming one with somebody that is the intense orgasm that you're looking for and you just don't want one you want two one right after the other

Because that guy there is going to be able to look into your eyes read the color of your cheeks the way you move the way you moan and he's going to understand what you were saying to him was just looking into your eyes without one word and he will either take you there or make you ride that long edge of orgasm not orgasm not orgasm not just keep building you up
Or he will get his timing just right and it will be slow slow motion and deep for your first orgasm and then a good hard pounding for the second one but with both you are one and when you can become one with somebody you will go to the Moon to Mars and back yes it feels completely different

And then we have energy lol everybody on this planet has energy within them if they understand that and you know how to use it there's another way that you can receive the best orgasm ever and what I mean by energy is frequency of The voice I don't care where you live I'm on the west coast I know for a fact that I could give you a better orgasm over the telephone then you've ever had in real life and that is just because of frequency energy sound waves versus physical it's hard to explain that I can explain it to you in the roundabout way you become one with energy only sooner than you do physically

RoseySaraah · Accepted Answer

Hun the opposite should be true!

He sounds like the worst lover ever!

For me I'm the same I need more and after we have sex he gives me just what I need! We have a few toys that he uses on me controls with his phone and lovingly holds me!

Those blow my mind and nothing I do alone could ever get close to those! The loving unknowing the excite meant where he will touch or how!

How he wants me spreads my legs gives me what to need and I give him myself legs open for his wants and needs!

Ooo sorry got hot!

Bad sex feels hallow and of course your own touch would feel better!

Your next boyfriend had better give you those amazing tingles or you know he is not worth it!

Anemone978 · Accepted Answer

Orgasms are weird.. I feel like I can't quit get that BANG! when I do it myself.. I think it's because it has to do so much with my mental state more then what is actually going on LOL With a guy it is much easier for me to get into that head space to really cum hard :D

MrOracle · Answer

Is he not doing other things to stimulate you? Many girls need more than JUST penetration to orgasm, but virtually all girls enjoy and appreciate more. Kissing, breast play, nipple sucking, hair pulling, spanking, having your hands pinned back, etc., and of course fingerings and oral. Not every girl wants all of those but most want at least some, if not most.

My girl can have mini orgasm just from me kissing her neck, but it's not just physical, it's also mental. I kiss her and touch her and keep her anticipation high on an on-going basis, so that I am constantly reinforcing our connection. If he's not doing that, he needs to be, and you might have to help teach him.

scentoflavender · Answer

I think the difference is intensity. Alone, it's just a function. Something to do. Calm the nerves. With someone, however, it's like we're building something. There's pay off. It matters more.

Billlewis · Answer

I'm never allowed to have intercourse, so I don't have anything to compare my masturbation to. I'm sure intercourse is much more pleasurable, however.

Apple1996 · Answer

Yeah same I orgasm wayy harder when alone. Orgasms from sex still feel good but they are a lot lighter

siferius90 · Answer

Orgasms from masturbation are more intense. Nothing beats this feeling when you can edge yourself for hours and control the grip, speed and so on.

pierre7i · Answer

Firstly, it seems you are blessed with good fortune being able to orgasm just from penis- vagina penetration - a majority of girls cannot

Secondly, it sounds like he is not sexually skillful, so although you could always climax when his sexual hardness was (is?) inside your vagina he wasn't doing anything to give you beautifully exciting sexual sensations !

Whereas when you're masturbating yourself YOU are doing things with your hands/fingers that give you exciting sexual sensations/feelings so your orgasms obviously feel much more intensely pleasurable

Are you still with him? If so, you should not be at all shy about telling him what you'd like him to do both in sexual foreplay and during penile penetrative lovemaking

AviatorTom · Answer

The ultimate orgasm feels the same. The difference is that, when madturbating, you can control when you orgasm, so it's expected. With someone else, whether it's oral, hand or intercourse, the orgasm just happens, it's unexpected.

Dargil · Answer

Strong feelings of fondness or even infatuation will supercharge an orgasm.

sheikalana · Answer

Feels different. Both are great tho.

RealMarek · Answer

The orgasm from actual sex feels far better to me than anything else.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

in my opinion those two orgasms are totally different sensations.

Alexz0 · Answer

It's far, far better with someone else. Alone its more like ticking a box so the body can keep going.

tfan1 · Answer

Well for me yes, it is a very different feeling orgasm by masturbation versus penis in vagina. Reason being is that when I masturbate that’s my hand on my penis, I control the pressure, the tightness and the speed but when it comes to penis in vagina, then it’s completely different. You can’t touch your penis and to get the orgasm the underside of the penis needs to be stimulated by speed Motion and the muscles in the vagina, squeezing or massaging the penis. Also, the wetness of the vagina has quite a lot to do with it, so there won’t be too much friction and cause discomfort to both of you.

MysticDevice · Answer

Waaaaay different

Wise4myage · Answer

Yes, of course they do.

LavLavLuv · Answer

Yes..

BigRed1987 · Answer

Well yeah of course they do. If you’re with someone you love and are comfortable with, than that’s going to be an even more intense orgasm (if “warmed” up enough)