Does your sex life change when you become parents?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years now. We use to have a great sex lure. We tried new things and I felt satisfied. Fast forward to now, we’re parents now so I understand we don’t necessarily have the time to do it the way we use to although I wish we did. My boyfriend no longer likes to have oral sex or any other kind of foreplay. After we put our daughter to bed he usually is tired already so After we take showers we just get straight to it. I get bored sometimes because he likes to do the same boring position (spooning) which doesn’t require much physical effort. And I’d rather try different positions (like we use to). I’ve talked to him about it but he says that 1. He’s too tired and 2. He no longer likes to be as sexually open. I also feel like the sec doesn’t last long enough.. for the past 5 years that we’ve been together majority of the time the sex only lasts 5-6 minutes. The longest would be 10. So guys and girls what’s your opinion? Do you think I should be more understanding to him or does it make sense for me to want more since I’m always left unsatisfied😕

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Superb Opinion

  • The short answer to your question is that, yes, sex life changes. For us, we went through I time like you're experiencing. It was total and utter exhaustion. I was at work 12 hours a day and my wife had the baby. But, over time, it got better. And now, even though we have four kids ranging in age from 11 to 20, our sex life is much more active, kinky, and better.

    As for how long he lasts, that's normal too. Being tired can kill a guy's ability to be able to have penetrative sex for very long.

    You're on the right track, though, by talking to him. On the one hand, continue to be understanding. But, yes, it totally makes sense for you want (and need) more. On the other hand, continue to have a loving, consistent and non-judgmental message that you have needs that need to be met. You have to walk a very fine line about not making him feel like crap while realizing that he needs to step up to the plate. In the meantime, it may be time for you to invest in some really fantastic sex toys to bridge the gap.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I am not married but I want to kick the butt of my married friends. So many who were slender and had six-packs or better (8-packs, ab veins) are getting so fat and out of shape now. We just walk together at Disney Land and they're like, "Huff-puff!" while I can keep up with the kids and do cartwheels. Why is everyone but the kids so tired easily now?

    I think I don't understand something for sure but what about some intense exercise? Only need 15-20 mins in a day. Just run as fast as you can with 50kg strapped to your body uphills. You get in better shape so fast! And I think you find so much more sexual energy together too getting you ass kicked left and right.

    • Wait, I am drunk so I meant to say I am married. But I don't have kids. I wish editing feature was available. I *am* married like so much. That was some weird Freudian slip or something.

    • Im currently trying to gain weight actually since I’m skinny so I don’t think doing intense exercise would be good for my goal. He works in construction and also plays soccer every week so I’d say he’s in pretty good shape. I think he just gets tired from working all day

    • Construction is tough but maybe prone to feel like "ugghh" by the end. I think our mindset exhausts us much faster than our bodies. I'm office worker type and don't have to do so much manual labor and maybe that even leaves me like I want to do something physically intense afterward to "relax". I want to do what your guy does to "relax". But maybe mindset is everything!

Most Helpful Girl

  • It changed but in a good way. I definitely became more kinky then I was before I had kids

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Mind me asking how in shape you guys were before kids, and if either or both of you have put on weight since kids?

    • We were both skinny & neither of us have gained Weight since then. I’ve noticed he just doesn’t have as much energy as he use to

    • Make sure he’s getting a good nights sleep for a stretch of at least 2 weeks. He should start working out. Strenuous workouts for at least a half hour a day. Power lifting is important but cardio to start. Follow me or DM me if you want to know what’s a game changer in the bedroom.

  • Obviously. How would it stay the same when you have the responsibility/time commitment of raising another human.

  • Yes it changed

    • You married?