Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I want to tell a very personal story today that has changed my whole perspective on intimacy and women in general (and which has given me a brand new appreciation of Adele’s music).
When I got to college I thought the greatest thing that could ever happen to me was to hookup with a girl and lose my virginity. I figured trumpets would rain down from the heavens and all would be well. I was a fool.
Virginity is something special and should not be thrown away haphazardly.
The curse of inexperience is that one is unable to fully understand the depths of their emotions and their bonds that result from sexual relationships. Regardless of how sure you are at the time that they are going to be no big deal.
People say time heals all wounds, but that’s not necessarily true. It could just be that time reveals depths of yourself that you’ve never before perceived. You can’t know how you will react prior to the reaction, and it may not happen until months or even years later for whatever reason.
Every emotional high corresponds equally to some equal opposite emotional low. The higher the high, the more inevitable the low. The true cost of affection is this. True love contains deep levels of sorrow. I am not qualified to speak of love at this point in my life, but I have had just a small rudimentary sample large enough that it shocked me to the very core unexpectedly and very suddenly.
In comics and animations, embraces of affection are drawn in to symbolize anticipation of sorrow — be it death, breakups, infidelity or cowardice. Emotional adults understand this principle because they have suffered it. Inexperience implies you do not yet understand and grasp the magnitude of this effect. You cannot have any idea of what you don’t yet understand, regardless of what you might think you understand.
So be responsible and make your first partner something both of you build up together on good and mutual terms. Don’t hate women for selectivity and preference if you are inexperienced and struggle to find love.
Truth is you don’t yet understand that their selectivity shields you from the sorrow you inevitably feel if you engage in meaningless sex when it isn’t actually meaningless to you. As an inexperienced person, you do not yet have agency over the deliberate decision that some encounters will be no strings attached and some not — simple fact is your first time is your first forgo into this landscape. You must respect it going in that it is unknown to you and unfamiliar. Do not try to overestimate your own capabilities to decide what is meaningless and what is not on your own without first hand experience.
Be choosy, but don’t be a prude. Find someone you can care for and seek out actively that great bond between the oppositite sexes. Go for it when the time is correct, but not before. And don’t wait. Missing opportunities continues to delay your understanding of intimacy and bonds between people — each very intelligent and emotional individual beings — and in doing so increases the likelihood of making a poorly considered crass sexual decision in your life and future.
I hope some young people out there, young men in particular, will take this advice seriously from one who has learned the hard way in earnest. Take your time and do it right. It’s not something you want to devalue in your life, because doing so also devalues yourself and your emotions thereafter.
Later on you may make the call when you deem it appropriate. But even more experienced people can make mistakes in their judgment as well. It comes with the territory of being sexual. Good luck to all you guys and girls out there — whenever you get jealous of listening to others’ sex conquests, or even if you have the misfortune of having to hear your roommate or neighbor’s sex life, stop. Remember what I’ve written here. It could very well be that even those people do not yet understand the magnitude of their actions and the emotions they are yet to feel later on.
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