Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
"Were you drinking?"
"What were you wearing?"
"You weren't taking anything were you?"
---
---
Almost two years ago now, I was molested by my stepfather.
I was not drunk.
I was not drugged.
I was wearing my pyjamas and was in bed.
No, I never said no. I was afraid of waking mum up, who was in the next room. I thought she would hate me if she saw what was going on.
I had turned seventeen only a couple months prior.
Before it happened I liked the guy. I trusted him.
How fucking dare I think I was safe with the man who was set to marry my mum.
And yes, I can talk to him again, and laugh with him again and tell a joke with him again. But that doesn't mean it never happened, or that I'm okay with it, or that I liked it. It simply means I learned how to cope.
And it doesn't mean I'll ever trust him again.
---
--
There was a six year old girl on the news yesterday.
She wasn't shown, but her story was told.
Six years in age, and raped on two separate occasions by two twelve year old boys, in the girls toilet block at her school.
She was not drunk.
She was not drugged.
And she was wearing her school uniform.
But of course, you wouldn't ask a SIX year old those questions, would you?
I'd fucking hope not.
---
My little brother was forced to pull his pants down in front of the school.
Same deal.
No drugs.
No alcohol.
School uniform.
---
My mum was raped by her uncle.
I don't know the details, as it's not really something you tell your kids about. But,
no alcohol.
no drugs.
jeans and a button up. (I'm assuming from the pictures of mum as a teen)
---
---
Just in my experience, in my own experience, hearing from other people, it happening to family or even myself.
In each case, the victim was known to the perpetrator.
In each case, the victim was not under the influence.
In each case, the victim was not wearing anything innapropriate.
So how can anyone say, that whether or not somebody is sexually attacked, has anything to do with those three factors?
Because most of the time?
It has nothing to fucking do with it.
--
I'm not going to write anymore, it'll only serve to upset me.
And I know I'm going to get a few haters but really, nothing they say will affect me, it's a reflection on who THEY are. Nothing to do with me.
What Girls & Guys Said
6 18The only issue I have with this "Take" is the section regarding the lesbians. What you stated there is idiotic in my view. It's like comparing a Tiger (male) to a glorified house cat (female). It is apples to oranges and doesn't apply. Lesbians don't have a dick and don't have thousands of years of hormones driving them to seek a mate and make babies. To say if lesbians can control themselves around females with short skirts so a male should be able to because it isn't the skirt is just stupid. If you dress provocatively then don't be surprised when the predators come calling. For pity sake, use some common sense once in a while.
She's right though. Women have hormones too, which does cause them to lust over people.
And no, we have a vagina and we have thousands of years of hormones, especially when we're on our period.
Read this: www.theatlantic.com/.../
So you're saying that men are so weak-minded and animalistic that they can't control themselves if a girls is wearing a short skirt? Interesting.
@ShaeNielson if they have such poor impulse control why do we let them operate heavy machinery or run a government?
@FallOutBoy2001 Maybe we shouldn't.
Wow, so you actually consider men animals who can't control themselves? Pretty low view of half our population you've got there... MEN are not natural "predators".. they're human beings.
It's your fault for putting yourself in that position. If women make themselves a easy target but getting shit faced drunk or putting themselves in bad situations like going back to a strangers house they're to blame for becoming a victim but not the actual rape. Criminals are predators and predators always go for easy prey.
Did you read her take? she was in her own house
@FallOutBoy2001 Wasn't referring to her but in general. In her case her mother is the one that's to blame for her daughter becoming a victim and the guy is to blame for making her a victim.
My mum isn't to blame for that. I don't even know how you came to that conclusion.
Her mother had no clue he was a rapist, how did you get to that conclusion?
@FallOutBoy2001 She is the one that brought him into her life. She didn't take the necessary time to get to know him before being with him. Parents job to protect their children.
3 years. They were together three years. I'd been living with them for one of those years.
That's most likely not true. I know people who have married and lived with serial rapists for 10 years and had no clue.
@FallOutBoy2001 Saying you didn't know is no excuse. Claiming ignorance is no excuse. Feelings cloud judgment. People that base reality on there feelings will be wrong about what they think reality is majority of the time. She didn't do a good job at picking a mate.
(I'm going to agree with that point actually... I cannot count the amount of relationships my mother has been in)
She probably never really knew any of them. Sorry that you had to go through something like that but that's life unfair and cruel. A piece of advice. You use yourself as a gauge to judge the guy. If the guy's intentions are the same or similar to your intentions he will act in a similar manner that you do. If he wanted what you want he would act like you. You judge him on his actions and not his words. You measure his character against your character. If you mind and heart are not on the same page there's a reason for that and you should go with your mind until you find out what that reason is. Good luck to you be safe