Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Yep, cumming at you with more sex jokes.. Drunk ones at that🤣
Q: Why did Mexicans create tequila?
A: So ugly people would have a chance at having sex!
Q: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a bottle of Jack Daniels?
A: A guy will actually SEARCH for a bottle of Jack Daniels.
Q: What is the similarity between Michelob Ultra and having sex in a rowboat?
A: They are both SO close to water
Q: Why do gynecologists only drink Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer and Smirnoff Vodka?
A: "Pabst Smir!"
A Shot of Whiskey
A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey then looks into his pocket. He does this over and over again. Finally, the bartender asks why he orders a shot of whiskey and afterwards look into his pocket. The man responded, "I have a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then i'll go home."
Drunk Husband
A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband's key in the door. "Stay where you are," she said. "He's so drunk he won't even notice you're in bed with me." Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed none the wiser, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed. He turned to his wife: "Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What's going on?" "Nonsense," said the wife. "You're so drunk you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there." The husband climbed out of bed and counted. "One, two, three, four. You're right, you know."
Better Boyfriend
Two girls were comparing boyfriends. "Mine's the best," said the first. "I call him Seven-Up because he's 7 inches long and he's always up!" "Oh yeah," exclaimed the other, "I call my boyfriend Jack Daniel's because he's the best hard licker there is!"
Drunk Cowboy
One night a lone cowboy rode into a small town. He immediately went to the only saloon in town and ordered a drink. While drinking he asked the bartender if there was a room and any women around. The bartender told him he had a room for rent and then glanced over to his friends drinking at another table.They decided to play a joke on the cowboy. As the evening drug on, the cowboy became very drunk but was still asking about a woman. Finally the bartender sent his friends upstairs on a mission and they returned shortly. Then the bartender told the cowboy that they only had one woman there but she was upstairs waiting on him. (the bartender's friends had carried a blow-up doll upstairs and placed her in his bed) At this point the cowboy bid everyone good night and slowly climbed the stairs. Filled with anticipation he approached the room and went inside as the men downstairs listened with great interest. After a few moments, they heard the bed springs squeaking and moans of pleasure coming from the room The roared with laughter. Then everything was quiet. Not beinging able to sleep with anticipation of the coming morning, the men decided to play poker through the night and await the man coming down the next morning. As he came down the stairs, they noticed a strange look on his face. They asked: "Well, cowboy, how was the woman." He hestitated, then answered: "Man, that was the best piece of ass I ever had, but the strangest thing happened." After I screwed her i bit her on the titty and she farted and flew out the window and I haven't seen her since.
I hope you enjoyed this drunk quickie(that's what he said🤣🤣)
Thanks for reading❤️❤️
"Brainsbeforebeauty"😘
What Girls & Guys Said
12 30Sorry but I have no drunk sex jokes.
It's okay. And I have no drunk Sex🤣 or any sex😔 lolol
I know the feeling.
🤗🤗
Haha brilliant thanks hun
Thanks for reading🤗
🤣🤣😂😂
What a naughty spongy forehead, i wonder if jack daniels is sponsering miss brains muffin's jokes 🤔
The chug a lug pal sasquatch sored feet did a great job today, bringing laughs to people who barely smiles 😅
Nope sponsored by Old Thompson🤣
Who's that thompson, isen't it a tv brand name? Or clay thompson the basketball player 🤔 Aaaa, old thompson the sponge's whiskey brand name which contains 99,99% alcohol 😁🤪
Not sure that's true lol but it's cheap like me🤣
No way, don't say that spongy forehead or i'll bite you unconscious 😤 Your a PRICELESS lady, but i agree that your whiskey is cheap and fake 🤣🤣 Miss brains won't biy a luxurious bottle of whiskey because they don't give her the necessary hangovers, she buys the cheaps ones, maybe they filled these bottles in their house's basements and sell it to the sponge 🍾🤪 chug a lug pal... Wanna know how much you can buy with a 1 dollar bill, ask the spongy forehead... Last time her neighboors woke up in the middle of the night on miss brain's voice shouting "no one is going to take my thompson from me, cause me and thompson are going to get married" 🤣🤣
I don't usually get hang overs.. Wish had the stuff to make more frozen cocktails but need to defrost my fridge... And ran out of vodka, but have plenty of whiskey lol
Now i know from where these violent protesters get the their moltovs, it's from the spongy forehead's room, they use miss brain's cheap bottles of whiskey to make molotov explosives... YOU NAUGHTY SPONGE! 😬😬
Nuh uhh that would be a waste of perfectly good alcohol and I'm not wasteful😄
Omg the cool air feels heavenly.. Sitting outside with my coffee enjoying the cool air
The cool air eyyy spongy forehead, i have a feeling that someone is going to interrupt your cool session, maybe someone who got newley wedded and wants to show you the photos 😂😂
Nah cuz I have to go back in and start cleaning, don't wanna😭 lolol
Haha, the house chores are waiting for you lazy spongy forehead and after you finish, make me something delicious or i won't charge the spongy forehead 😁
Wait, I gotta clean AND cook? How about YOU cook while I clean?
I will but call the firefighting departement before i start COOKING, i'll broil the spongy forehead in the stove cause that's the only thing that i know how to do 😈 Number 1 rule, "never let a man in the kitchen" 😌 The woman COOKS and the king EATS, that's how it works 🤴🏻
Yeah no, not in "my castle".. We shared the responsibilities and the rewards... But I did throw an Italian seasoned pork roast in the slow cooker, but seeing you didn't help, none for you 😜😘
I will help by biting your spongy forehead miss brains muffins and i'll buy the pepsi cola so i drink all by myself but if you act good with me and the meal turns out to be delicious than you will receive a sip from my pepsi 😁 Anyways who said that i'm listening to what your saying, when i see a delicious meal being prepared on fire i become deaf and the seasoned pork is going to get my teeth on it whether you say yes or no sponge and if you stand in my way i'll bite your spongy forehead like a lion and i'll have 2 meals at this point instead of one, BRING ME THIS BARBECUED seasoned pork so i see if it's well done, c'est magnifique madame sponge 👌🏻👩🏼🍳🥩
It's seasoned which means i won't get it in all season mmmm 😋
🤣🤣 not quite the "season" I mean lolol
Laugh LAUGH HARD sponge 😤
And who needs your Pepsi.. I have my whiskey, I can sip on that😜😄 in fact, think it's time for a drink. Got the bathroom clean, did the dishes, swept kitchen floor, bedroom clean and bed made. Still need to do laundry and mop kitchen floor, but I deserve a break. Think a soak in a hot bath with a stiff drink sounds good about now🥃🛀🏼
Now acting without a gratitude towards your king eyyy sponge, anyways i won't punish you right now because the house is shining and all of it clean, i can do some ice skating on the floor 😁 Anyways you insulted my pepsi and your lucky to be far away cause i would jumped and bite you everywhere on your body like a saber tooth cat and the spongy forehead will be broken cause her bones are fragile and shaking cause she needs a huge amount of calcium 🤣🤣 I will tie your sasquatch feet do you don't use them than i'll throw you in the bathtub with whiskey and i'll watch you from the door's keyhole, i'll be like a fox 👁🦊
My bathroom door doesn't have a keyhole🤣 besides, live alone so no need to close the bathroom door. Heck when the kids weren't here, my hubby never closed the door when he took a bath, guess he wanted me to see him naked🤣
Here goes the naughtiness, the spongy forehead wants a porn scenario where she writes the scripts and gets very naughty, i'll be the monster hiding under the bubbles in the tub, when miss brains comes in the monster will eat her alive 👹
Ummm not in the tub anymore lolol and cannibalism isn't a kink of mine🤣 maybe yours though lololol
Although both me and the house smell yummy lololol, the house because of the food cooking, me cuz the stuff put in my bath😊
It's not a kink, i wanna chew this jello spongy forehead so i relax 😌 I'm going to catch you naughty spongy, she's crawling around the house but i'll catch her 🏃🏻♂️...😬
😋🤤, i'll eat the meal than chew you alive naughth sponge or i'll eat you alive than eat my delicious meal so i don't waste my time waiting, won't allow this lizard sponge escape from my grip, YUM YUM THE SPONGY FOREHEAD TASTES GOOD 😬😬 Unleash the cave man to eats this naughty blondie sponge 😛
🤣🤣🤣 tainted frosting again🤔😂 I'll stick to whiskey lol at least got stuff accomplished today, and still have tomorrow.. so back to sitting outside, enjoying the cool weather and whiskey buzz🥃😊
I'll join you after i finish this seasoned meal made miss brains muffins 😋🥩
I love dirty jokes, and being being funny in offensive ways like racist jokes too. I general I have a dirty mind. I have a panty fetish, so I prefer regular cotton over a thong. In my mind when a girl wears a thongs she is trying to look attractive, but regular cotton no so much. So if I see a girl in regular cotton panties it’s a real treat cuz it wasn’t ment to be seen. Seeing her panty lines or her underwear poke out in the back is great especially when the waistband says hanes.
I usually don't wear any 😂
Seeing a girl strip layer by layer and seeing her in her bra and panties is my favorite part. The naked intro/part one.
They were really good. I've heard a couple of them but I really needed a good laugh after the lousy few days I've had. Thank you
Sorry to hear that. Hope things are better now🤗
Thank you for the smile you gave me this morning!
😊 you're welcome.. Thanks for reading🤗
Lmao
Again, lots of laughs. Thanks!
👍👍
With your sense of humor, we could have a great time if we got together
Is there some other kind of sex that I'm unaware of?
Lolol
I love a good sex joke
This is why you never hook up drunk
🤣🤣🤣
Got to hate that "Whiskey Dick"!!!
🤣🤣
Do it you hear about the new condoms? They're filled with ink. That way if you can't cum you can write
Lolol
I don’t drink, but I do weed and other drugs occasionally
The whiskey shot and the Cowboy doll totally got me cracking my ribs lol.
🤣🤣👍
@brainsbeforebeauty hhh thank you , how are you though.
Okay.. And you?
Oh I needed that laugh!
Thank you!
Thanks for reading🤗
Girl you are crazy
If you get stupid drunk off tequila then you’re drinking tequila wrong. When you visit a rancho in jalisco for example they’ll teach you how to properly drink tequila so you don’t black out drunk. It’s meant to be enjoyed in a way.
You get these were jokes right?
All I did was educate those who are fans of tequila 👐🏻you can even plan a trip to jalisco…it’s a win win
Well thanks for the education.. But I've never blacked out drinking tequila so🤷
Okay ma’am 🤠
But if you are interested you should definitely check it out!
Makes me happy you enjoy my people’s alcoholic beverage
I love Tequila, silver 100% blue Agave. I have been to Puerto Vallarta. I can have 5 shots and be fine.