Dude am I the fucking problem?

My boyfriend won't initiate sex at all but if I initiate it or say I want to then it's on and cracking. Why is that? I thought guys don't have a problem with starting it off, I don't mind kick starting it but if I'm initiating it every time I don't really very like I'm wanted or he isn't really all that attracted to me. I don't know why it makes me kinda not wanna have sex but it does lol
1 0

Superb Opinion

  • I don’t think you’re the problem. Not everyone feels comfortable bringing it up. For some it’s a case of not wanting to put pressure on their partner or making them think they just want sex all the time.
    This is something you two should be able to communicate with each other tho. You need to tell him it makes you feel that way.

    • He says it's just not him

Most Helpful Girl

  • I thought the same thing - guys wanted it all the time & they have no problem letting you know, but I've recently discovered how wrong I was - from single men on dating sites or say that they're actively looking. My experience however, was they were entertaining other women or several other woman & only hitting me up when they wanted it. When I realized what they were kinda doing - when I wanted it there was always an excuse - something stupid - it turned me off too. My ex-husband & I was similar to yours - but he'd start it, & only bc I'd always please him first, and that got old to me real fast & he got to the point he watched so much porn he couldn't perform but would want me to continue on him that it was so routine & it turned out that I didn't want it at all with him. Complete turn off & one reason we divorced. When we're not feeling wanted or attractive, or only one putting in effort - we shut down & I mean shut everything down lol.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Don't take it to heart, he most likely just doesn't want to try and initiate and then you don't get turned on or aren't in the mood and he just looks like a dumbass that has a boner at that point

  • Reminds me of my ex, except that we mostly ended half way... In cybersex! Because she wanted to kept her virginity. I obviously went nuts and plain stop making an effort to initiate sex.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 8
  • Duuuude!!

  • First off don't start the conversation off with, " Dude am I the fucking problem? " Lol

  • You got a shy and submissive boyfriend :)

    • I don't know if that's good or bad because I am comfortable being the submissive one but I'm not shy lol

    • Lol tell him to take charge

  • Have you asked him why

  • You feel unattractive or rejected by constantly having to initiate. That's an understandable emotion.

  • her zaman evde çıplak olmayı dene

  • Needs to investigate more. How was it in the past? Always been like that?

  • Because of the current culture. Many guys have become afraid to initiate sex because of what the reaction may be.