Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I’ve grown up in a Muslim family, being taught Muslim values in The Netherlands. Not that there’s anything wrong with those in general, since they are often very similar with western values, but in some areas they are more strict. One of those for example is concerning sexual freedom. Especially in more strict Muslim communities sex is something you don’t talk about, and expressing yourself sexually is something simply not done.
Now you might think that growing up in the Netherlands, might give some more freedom when it comes to expressing yourself sexually, since it’s being considered a very tolerant and open minded country when it comes to sex. But I’ve found out this is only appearances. In fact, I've come to find out that even though some countries themselves consider themselves very tolerant and liberated when it comes to sexual freedom, they’re not.
Yeah, sure, The Netherlands did legalize prostitution, which may sound like they’re really open minded when it comes to sex. But that it’s been legalized doesn't mean it has became more acceptable. In fact, sometimes it even seems as if it’s more controversial than ever before. And yes, we have a gay parade in Amsterdam, but the violence against gay people has been growing in recent years. In short, The Netherlands is not as tolerant is it may sound.
But now let’s talk about the sexual freedom of women. Some of you may think women already have sexual freedom, achieved through the sexual revolution in the 70’s. But again, this is only appearances. I’ll give you an example. Guy sleeps with 10 girls, and he’s cool, because he’s done it with 10 girls. Girl sleeps with 10 guys and she’s a slut, because she slept with 10 guys. There seems to be a double standard here. A guy doing it is cool, but a girl doing the same thing is considered to be a slut, a judgment of immoral behavior.
Another example. Most parents tell their daughters not to sleep with just any guy, but to be careful about it. And no, we’re not talking about the safety issues like risking STD’s, but simply the fact that the daughter shouldn’t sleep with the very first guy she meets’. Yet, men are almost never advised to watch out who they sleep with, or that they should wait for the right girl. Apparently it’s something that only applies to women.
Another example. A girl wearing a short tight dress is considered slutty by most for dressing provocative. But a guy going out without a shirt is no problem, and not considered to be slutty in any way. Apparently different rules apply to how to dress. And as soon as women dress how they like, they often get slut shamed for doing so.
In other words, women are still being suppressed sexually. Women are not allowed to have their sexual freedom, or they’ll be slut shamed. And this sentiment is even stronger in the Muslim community, as well as some other religious communities.In short, women are being pressed by society to behave in a way society approves, and if they do not, they will be put to shame for it.
So my question becomes. What is wrong with being a slut? In my opinion a slut is simply a woman who chooses to deny society’s double standards, and chooses for complete sexual freedom. She doesn't care that people slut shame her, she embraces it. And by embracing her inner slut, nothing someone else can say to her to put her to shame will harm her. After all, what are you gonna call a slut? A slut? Yeah, she is, so what?
I wish more women would stop the double standards society has, and embrace their inner slut, and admit it to the world that they are sluts, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Because in the end, a slut is a free woman, free from society’s pressure on girls to act like how society demands. Free to dress, fuck and sleep with whoever she wants. And than, maybe, if enough girls and women will embrace their inner slut, and show it to the world, we can change something.
What Girls & Guys Said
25 53This matter is far more complex than you have presented it to be, and it is also one-sided. First, I completely agree that the number of sexual partners does NOT a slut make. Of course, a high number of sexual partners can lead to STDs, but that's another issue.
Now, for the part where I disagree...
That Halloween picture you posted is a great example of this female hypocrisy. And it the picture they are, in fact, dressed incredibly slutty. Could you make a case that they;re dressed like that because it was hot outside? No. They are intentionally dressed provocatively and then complain that men treat them in one way or another. The truth of the matter remains, that one is going to be treated mostly according to how they 'sell' (or present, if you will) themselves. Marilyn Monroe comes to mind - the way she had to start her career through 'slutty' ways because she was hungry and then couldn't shake off the label anymore.
Now, what these supposedly constrained women want is to be complete teases, flaunt sex in front of men without them being allowed to touch anything, which in turn, gives them the feeling of power over men. This, although biologically and psychologically explainable, is an utterly lame and mean tactic. And on top of all that, they demand respect. It's difficult to treat someone with seriousness and respect if they look like a clown (metaphorically speaking, mostly).
Yes, yes, and yes. Embrace it indeed! Thank you for your services. Sluts are saving the world.
Actually sluts are ruining the world. They have sex with losers and eventually they end up pregnant with one of those losers babies which they will have to raise as single mothers while living in the ghetto with cheap rent. Children with bad genes and bad parenting living in bad neighbourhoods is what causes countries to go under.
That literally makes no sense. Sounds like you need a good slut to get your brain working properly again!
What about that didn't make sense?
@Homebakedcookies "A slippery slope argument (SSA), in logic, critical thinking, political rhetoric, and case-law, is a consequentialist logical device in which a party asserts that a particular result will probably (or even must inevitably) follow from a given decision or circumstance, without necessarily providing any rational argument or demonstrable mechanism for the likelihood of the assumed consequence." Being slutty is not good by virtue, but you can be a good slut. I am one. There is a good book called "The Ethical Slut" that can help you recognize that. And when you are a good slut, you are the best kind of person :) since when was sharing nice things with people a bad thing? The truth is people just get emotionally charged because sex is still a taboo subject... Then they end up feeling anger, confusion, and acting irrational.
Oh I see what you didn't understand. The logical part.
@Homebakedcookies Really? Well, I just uncovered the flaws in your argument... It is called a LOGICAL fallacy. "In philosophy, a formal fallacy (also called logical fallacy) is a pattern of reasoning rendered invalid by a flaw in its logical structure that can neatly be expressed in a standard logic system, for example propositional logic. An argument that is formally fallacious is always considered wrong."
Good to know! I'm not gonna ask you to point those fallacies out because I suspect I will only get another rambling about irrelevant stuff.
@Homebakedcookies Seriousy dude? I already did. The slippery slope fallacy. Jesus, come on people.
You just can't argue with logic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXD4LKNnRIg
@Homebakedcookies OK you stay a virgin, I'll continue fucking and praising slut, I hope you have a good life hating yourself and women.
"Ok, stay a virgin" so you virginshamed him? lol. You are the one who creates this double standard. How you know he is a virgin? Maybe he fucks sluts and leaves them like trashes? And eventually wants a better woman
@heymanmanman I don't know, in fact I doubt it. What I was doing was dismissing his opinion. Look at what YOU said. He uses a woman, throws her aside, which makes him what? A good man? And then he wants a "better" woman? Because what, he deserves it? And a woman who is not a slut is better? Sluts will save this world. I am not creating a double standard. I don't shame the non promiscuous, I shame those who think the promiscuous are somehow less moral. They are beyond stupid. And no doubt will they live with a boundless hatred stemmed from poor ideologies. I was just letting him keep live that life. You can too. Think you are "better" if you wish, but time will show how your hate has corrupted your soul. So sad.
if a woman is comfortable with being used like shit then yes she deserves it. It is her choice
@heymanmanman Exactly, he is the kind of guy who will use them, I care about my sluts and empower them. Two kinds of people. The sad part is, you let men like him decide how you define yourself. A good slut doesn't.
he treats women the way women represent themselves
@heymanmanman Maybe that is why my relationships are stable healthy and happy.
Morals tend to come as a result of consequential thinking. Consequential thinking come as a result of intelligence. Intelligence comes from genes. Good genes. Good genes are typically the type of genes that bring order, prosperity and peace to a society if enough people in that society have them. A population with a majority of low IQ generally has low moral values and high crime rates as a result of it. They also have more unprotected sex with strangers due to lack of consequential thinking, which leads to the birth of more stupid people, which leads to more crime and more chaos. You say sex is a taboo subject. No. It's not a taboo subject. It's just that smarter people are generally more reserved when it comes to speaking about intimate relations as it is a very private matter for them. Sex is usually not regarded as a group activity or sport. But something that is part of a personal relationship. Usually this relationship only exists between two people at a time.
Also you claim to have stable, healthy and happy relationships. How is that possible when you claim to be a slut, banging sluts? As in multiple women.
@Homebakedcookies Right, because the places that hold monogamy to the highest degree are filled with intelligent people. Middle east, bible belt America... Cool, your intelligence is amazing me.
Let me guess. You're a leftist who is unhappy with the world because you don't fit in. And you want to change it so that it will suit your needs. You put your needs above everyone elses and that of natural order. The Middle east is islamic. It is not uncommon for some muslims to have more than one wife. Often these countries are also full of violence, conflict and slavery. Yes the bible belters. And you also have mormons, don't you? They kinda go the other way. The Bible belt is not your most intelligent bunch. In fact they're very much like the muslims. A group so drilled in collective thinking and feeling that they rarely have a thought of their own. They follow the rules of the collective. So your argument isn't really good. The bible belters would follow any rule as long as it is part of the bible. Monogamy isn't holy to them. The bible is. And that's why they respect it.
Ok, well have fun being you, I'll have fun being me. Thanks for your insights, and your welcome for my wisdom. One day it will click in for you :) Till that day...
PS. Polygamy still demands female virgins, not working for your side of things. Educate women, they will fuck more.
This wasn't a discussion about being who we are. It was about what does or doesn't destroy the world. You say, "Sluts are saving the world" and I say they destroy it. That's what this was about.
@Homebakedcookies Right and I say it takes an educated and moral being to be able to have healthy and meaningful relationships, and that monogamy and sexual repression restricts that ability, while sharing love and sex with others allows it. It takes an unhealthy, or at the very least misguided mindset to deny or misunderstand that. So, in light of that, you can continue on your path, and I will on mine. The world will either progress or regress, it is clear which side of things we stand. Thank you, and goodbye.
"it takes an educated and moral being to be able to have healthy and meaningful relationships" So you agree with me there? "monogamy and sexual repression restricts that ability". Wrong. It restricts you. And you only. You even drew a parallel between monogamy and sexual repression. While that is true for you it doesn't mean it's the same for others. The absolute majority of people in developed countries prefer relationships to one person at a time. That is the natural state of the more evolved human mind. While humans like you who prefer purely sexual relationships with multiple women without terms and without caring about the possible consequences, are closer to the primitive roots of the human race.
I adore virgins, but if an experienced partner is with me, she has tried the rest and maybe likes me the best.
The main thing in any relationship is free open communication, together with mutual trust, honesty and respect, experience just makes her very hot!
The worst problem is religion, all religions consider themselves our moral guardians, but they are responsible for more unhappiness and stupid moral judgments that any other aspect of society.
As well as being the excuse for more armed and deadly conflict in the world. Religious belief can be dangerous and injurious to mental and physical health.
Good for u ☺️😇
So you're a slut ehh.
Honestly, this makes perfect sense. Who's who will be clearly defined. Guys will know all the girls who are down and won't bother with girls who aren't. And when it's time to get a wife or girlfriend you can just find the girls who aren't sluts to eventually settle down and raise your kids with after you've sowed your wild oats.
I'll free and embrace my inner slut. Nice take by the way ;)
mmmmmmmmmmmmm
I don't judge women for casual sex, unfortunately many men do
I judge women for casual sex. Reason being having a slut as a wife is very risky business. Even more so if you have kids together. But some men love it when women mess up their entire lives. So if you're into that, go ahead.
@Homebakedcookies does "woman who has sex outside of a relationship " ALWAYS equal "slut" to you?
Yes it does. Though to be fair I don't respect men who have casual sexual encounters either.
Guys will ocassionally look up to promiscuous guys but after HS/college no one really wants to hear a guy brag about how often he gets laid. That said, I have NEVER heard a woman say a guy who has slept around is cool.
Basically both genders have the tendency to judge promiscuous members of the opposite gender.
Guys often avoid relationships with promiscuous girl and ocassionally look up to promiscuous guys.
Girls often avoid relationships with promiscuous guys and rarely to never look up to promiscuous girls.
So 2 questions to ask are:
Why Don't girls look up to promiscuous girls?
why DO guys look up to promiscuous guys?
Well because convincing guys to have no string attached sex with you is easy. Getting commitment is what's difficult so girls aren't going to admire something she could easily do herself.
For guys it's the opposite. It's easier to find girls who want a relationship than it is to find girls willing to have no strings attached sex with you. It's something only a handfull of guys can consistently get. So considering the degree of dificulty, getting casual sex is harder than getting relationships which is why guys sometimes admire that.
As far as the shirtless thing, at every event I've ever been to, on average, the girls always show more skin than the guys. Even in HS where we had a uniform the girls always got away with showing more skin. Hell, just look at Hollywood red carpet events, the guys are always dressed very conservatively while the girls often show up half naked or in see through outfits.
On the beach, the typical guy wears board shorts, while the typical girl wears a standards bikini. If you look at both articles of clothing, I think guys and girls are wearing similar amounts of fabric. Guys wear more fabric on their lower body, while girls wear more fabric on their upper body but in the end it's similar amounts of fabric.
Also consider this, you are free to dress however you want and sleep with whoever you want... but other people are free to form their own opinions on your behavior regardless of whether or not those opinions are favorable or unfavorable. Sure you'd like to do whatever you want and have people only think positive thoughts about you but that's not how things work.
This free opinion how you call it, is being judgmental about people. It has little to do with expressing their opinion, but more to do with being judgmental about other people, fueling stereotypes and sexual repression.
I have solution for woman. instead of acting like men so she can sleep around , don't allow men to use ur body like if all woman did that , men can't find a slut to bang her!! this is Equality which leads to healthy relationship, trust and happy pure love
you know there is nothing wrong with casual sex, a woman having mutliple sex partners before marriage and having sex in general
can't I embrace my outer slut instead tho
Actually guys walking around shirtless in most western communities is considered vulgar at best. Only time you might get away with it is if your waking out of a club with a bunch of other shirtless guys as drunk as you. In that case women can get away with looking quite skimpy also. Anyway this is all bullshit about a woman sleeps with ten guys and she's a slut. That's because nobody actually knows her sexual history. Anyway a slut can mean something nasty (just like how ' player ' can mean womanizer, manipulative, emotionally unattached, etc.) but it can also be reframed to mean something that is cool and sexually liberating - a 21st century woman that is open-minded, etc. The problem is with the way women carry such a label. These women ALLOW it to become something derogatory. The difference is that men make a point to wear out as a badge of honour - especially in the West where nothing terrible can happen to your for doing such a thing. In short men are just more confident in their own sexuality. It's not their fault women have such prudish beliefs (and let's face it: women for the most part are the ones 'slut-shaming' - not that any of it is fact so much as assumptions. Women are the ones who think you should wait for sex - perhaps until marriage. And women are the ones that frown on guys looking for casual sex: they say things like, "oh he wants to degrade women", "he can't just wait until marriage", "no! I am not a piece of meat").
In short I am extremely incredulous about these so-called slut-shaming rituals that do not take place on any meaningful basis. Anyway, women are more likely to sleep with the cretins that can't keep their mouth shut because they prefer the dominant attributes in these kind of men. They like those kinds of men better than more considerate, compassionate men who would never open the can of beans on a woman. So this is part of the reason that their sexual history gets out: their lack of discretion choosing good men and failure to go for men outside their own social circle.
If a woman feels the need to sleep around and express her sexuality, thats her decision and i dont see anything wrong with it. I think if your life isn't being affected in any way... dont be concerned about what goes on in someone elses bedroom. 💁🏻
I agree with you!
I agree with you, sadly many other people do not, and will be very judgmental about this, even stronger in Muslim circles.
I don't agree with this at all. If I have a daughter one day she will be taught class and self-respect.
I think that was precisely her point. What makes you think having sex is low class and lacking self respect? For girls that is
@nalaa This isn't just sex though is it... she wants women to be promiscuous.
@WombRaider By her you mean the take owner? Who cares?
@nalaa Yes, obviously. I care, I don't particualrly want my future daughter to think sleeping around is all fine and dandy. This take is absurd.
@WombRaider what do you think is wrong with sleeping around?
So class and self-respect comes from being prude? I guess you've just proved my point.
@nalaa Because it is. That's the world we live in. I don't want my daughter being promiscuous and then suffer the ugly consequences that come along with it. What self-respecting woman even refers to herself as a slut? If a woman has sex with multiple men do you think society will look at her and say "She's a great classy woman, any guy would value her and take her home to mom"? Nope. She'll be ridiculed, called nasty names, guys won't care about who she is on a deeper level they'll just see her as an easy lay to hit and quit. Nice guys won't want her either. I'm around the age where I see it a lot. And many promiscuous girls I've seen have had some sort of self-esteem problem. I want my daughter to respect her body, not subject it to multiple men who could care less about her. Then there's an increased risk of STDs and unwanted pregnancies. Society is harsh and I don't want my daughter to go through that. People treat you how you treat yourself.
@nalaa and I'm not saying having sex is low class. But being a "slut" implies being sexually loose. That's what she's promoting that I don't agree with. Sex is great, but don't give it up to every penis you see.
No, there's a difference. Sure some classy women are prude, but then you have women who will only have sex with a man that they have established a relationship with. So being classy doesn't equate to being prude. Classy women are known for having standards, while "sluts" are known for being easy. People can do whatever they want with their vaginas, that's their business, but don't get upset when the guy you hooked up with calls you a slut and brags to his friends about how easy he got you. Women who put themselves in that situation shouldn't be bothered by that right? Especially when they're all for releasing their inner slut, they shouldn't be bothered by any slandering that comes their way. Women are not equal to men in that department, it's not happening. Men can do what they want and be praised for it, women don't have that "luxury".
So no reason really other than what guys might think? That was the authors point? I assume you don't have a kid and it will be a few years still have. Why not work on making the social negative consequences go away before you have one, rather supporting them? So it will be her choice what she does and you don't have to fear negative side effects either way. If you see it a lot, maybe the best solution for you is to be prude, but it doesn't mean that the best way to handle is to instill the same "catholic shame" on future generations. I mean don't you want better for your children?
@nalaa Because I don't agree with that kind of behavior. If some women want to be that way then they should do so and not try to convince others to follow in the same path, that's the part that irks me. I don't care about negative consequences going away because society has more important issues. It's a useless cause that's not going to make a difference. People aren't gonna take you seriously when you're walking around calling yourself a slut, bad way to start a movement. For me, I will do my best to instill good values and self-esteem in my children from an early age, and hope that it works out. When my mom and aunt were younger they were loose, consequences came with that. My mom has HSV1 which will never go away and flares up now and then. My aunt caught gonorrhea which is curable thankfully. I want my kids to be careful about who they fool with and get to know them. The pros outweigh all of the cons. Give yourself to someone who is worth it. Religon aside.
can't make a whore a housewife
@CancerianMan81 I just can't wrap my head around the fact that some women are advocating for this. If you want to have hook ups then go ahead, why does the public opinion matter so much? Why do they need to have other women following the "slut path" too? If you truly believe you aren't doing anything wrong then do it and own it. But just as they don't want to be judged, they've been kinda judging modest women themselves by calling them prude which isn't a compliment.
I know sweetie but their thinking that their doing the right thing
"So class and self-respect comes from being prude?" so if a woman is not a slut then she is a prude? What about a woman who has had sex only with one man? Is she a prude?
@heymanmanman I don't think so
Girls, please dont become sluts
Dont worry. Only idiots fall for these things. Smart women know better.
@Homebakedcookies i hope so lol its hard as it is to find decent ones they sure as hell need no encouraging
I always do. I'm a 45 year old women that wears boots, leather, latex, and little tight dresses.
Free your inner slut? You know fuck all by the way. Women suffer the consequences of sexual conquests. Men dont. Unwanted pregnancies are just one. Bad reputation another. Men look at sluts and think ill give her one if im desperate bit im outta there after. You'll never get treated like the lady you want to be again. At best like a piece of meat when your reputation gets around. Ken always talk about women. You see a group of gutlys looking at you from a bar and talking there's a good chance one of them knows somebody whos fucked you and he's spreading the gossip. How easy you were. What you did in bed. Where you a decent girl or a slapper. Men rate women like farmers rate cattle. If your rep is a slut you'll never get love and romance and courtship from any man you'll ever talk to who knows you. Thats gone. Your a piece of meat now. A sex toy. Thats the reality. Its called integrity and every guy you sleep with takes a little more away. To seal the deal we have a self image, we believe we are who people treat us like. You get treated like a slut with no respect and only sex in mind you'll start acting a slut and the deal is sealed. Thays your life. Nobody ever treats you like a proper women again all because a bunch of lesbians who hate men are brainwashing you into thinking your being repressed.
The men who think that way about women are the problem, not the girl's sluttiness. Women should avoid those men anyway, they suck... They should be avoided and they should not be taken seriously by either sluts or reserved women, even other men who are sensible. Your opinion is sad and pathetic and it is not the direction humanity should go. Taking you off the field by filling it with sluts sounds like a BRILLIANT plan.
@Metlahaed your a virgin pal. You might as well wear a sign. Youve not got a fuckin scooby
The extent to which you are wrong is making me giggle. I will just stick to my first reply, it says everything I need to.
@Metlahaed yeah you giggle. Gay then.
This is just awesome.
I love sluts, but sluthood is a choice for women and a privelage for those men who can do it. That's why male players deserve their credit and legendary status. It's also why women sluts deserve the label "easy" and men don't. It's easy for a woman if she so chooses, but fuckin hard for a male if he is an introvert, or softer than alpha boy. Again... why nice guys shouldn't be ashamed of getting prostittutes.
Well first of all let me give you the response regarding men. A man who sleeps with 10 women is considered a player while a woman who does the same ia considered a slut. Ill tell you why a lot of people feel this way. Men are the ones who mainly compete for sex. Women choose. Its not that hard to simply choose 10 guys. You can go out and do that in one night. A man who got 10 girls ( given it wasn't sex for pay) competes against all the other guys and came out the winner for 10 girls. Now that takes some skill and effort. And though we do not neceasarily respect that, you have to admit he has got something going for him. now that being said, while we do admire that guy, he is far from ideal. If you think boys aren't restricted to sex and aren't made aware of the risks and all you are wrong. Being a player is not necessarily good. I guy like that is not seen as very trustworthy and as much of a teamplayer and that might negatively affect his relations with other people and maybe even in the job department deoending on where he lives. Also, a man who goes out without wearing a shirt is considered obnoxious and ridiculed. So men aren't really that exempt from it either. But i do agree women have it a lot harder. And there is a reason to that. As woman, once you have been sexually promiscuous and have been labelled as "slut" which can be different in different places, you lose your value as a partner. Iys hard to be considered a good wife or good mother after that. Think about how a child would feel if his or her mother is known to be easy back in the day. The child would be the butt of mom jokes throughout shool and college. You can say thats because people are ignorant all you want but kids, both boys and girls would torment him with thay stuff. Think about what if a girl apperas in a porno, and then decided to stop that and have a normal family life. Years later her teenage son starts to watch porn and sees his mom in a video! That kid would be screwed up for life! Of course it would be as bad to see your dad. But you wouldn't as mortified as seeing mother. As a girl, when you have sex often and sleep with many guys you are lowering your self value because you just chose to have sex, withouy a guy having to have had to work a lot for it. You can't blame him then when he yhinks yoi are easy. And that will always be associated as a negative trait. Its natural and you can't change it. You can make your own choice, but all im saying is to also consider the effects.