Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
So another Sunday sex take 🙂 Thanks to one user with apparently no sense of humor, this disclaimer for him or anyone else who can't take a joke.
DISCLAIMER:
These are just jokes. I in no way condone spousal cheating, abuse, or whatever else I was accused of supporting 🤷🏼♀️I handle stress or hard times with humor as I feel a lot of others do. Sometimes shared laughter is the best medicine for what ails you, so if you don't have a sense of humor... Stop here 🛑
If you do, proceed🚥
And, hope you enjoy....
But first, a question seeing this is ask and answer site 🙂
Black mail
At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.
Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"
Newspaper Ad
A woman places an ad in the local newspaper. “Looking for a man with three qualifications: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, and is great in bed.” Two days later her doorbell rings. “Hi, I’m Tim. I have no arms so I won’t beat you, and no legs so I won't run away.” “What makes you think you are great in bed?” the woman retorts. Tim replies, “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I
Playground
Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face, and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!" Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut." Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's mom asked, "Really small, was it?" Sally replied, "No, salty." Mom fainted.
Starter Sex
A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he went to the doctor. The doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself." That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol and ran home to his wife. That night the two were having sex and found themselves in the 69 position. The man felt the urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol. The next day he went back to the doctor who asked how it went. The man answered, "Not well. When I fired the pistol, my wife pooped on my face, bit three inches off my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air."
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes."
Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
A little boy with diarrhea tells his mom that he needs Viagra. The mom asks, "Why on Earth do you need that?!"
The little boy says, "Isn't that what you give daddy when his sh*t doesn't get hard?"
Sailing
A man joins a soccer team and his new teammates inform him, "At your first team dinner as the new guy, you will have to give us a talk about sex." The evening arrives and he gives a detailed, humorous account of his sex life. When he got home, his wife asked how the evening went and not wanting to lie, but also not wanting to explain exactly what happened, he said, "Oh, I had to make a talk about yachting," his wife thought this a little peculiar but said nothing more and went to sleep. The next day she bumped into one of his new teammates at the supermarket and asked, "I heard my husband had to make a speech last night. How did it go?" His mate said smiling, 'Oh, it was excellent! Your husband is clearly very experienced!." The wife looked confused and replied to his mate, "Strange, he has only done it twice and the second time he was sick."
Letter to Santa
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."
Visiting Grandparents
Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight . When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills. The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad, they're very strong and very expensive." "How much?" asked Grandpa. "$10.00 a pill," answered the son. "I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow. " Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was $10, not $110. "I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma!"
Two men visit a prostitute. The first man goes into the bedroom. He comes out ten minutes later and says, "Heck. My wife is better than that."
The second man goes in. He comes out ten minutes later and says, "You know? Your wife IS better."
Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled, "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted to. I was keeping the umbrella.
Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know, I get a little each month, but not enough to live on.”
Pearly Gates
Two guys are standing in line to enter heaven. One turned around and asked the other how he died. "I froze to death. How about you?" "I had a heart attack." "How did that happen?" "Well, I suspected my wife was cheating on me. So after work I went straight home. I ran upstairs to find my wife sleeping by herself. Then I ran back downstairs and looked in all the hiding spots. When I was running back up the stairs, I had a heart attack." "That's ironic." "Why?" "If you would've looked in the fridge, we'd both be alive."
I hope you enjoyed 🤞🙂
Thanks for reading ♥️
"Brainsbeforebeauty"😘
What Girls & Guys Said
4 36Love the jokes. Hope the disclaimer wasn't directed toward any of my responses. I have the same warped, twisted sense of humor. If it was, all apologies for my short sightedness.
No! Lol not at all...
Great jokes!
Thanks 🙂
Just followed you by the way, you are great
Thanks 🙂 if you liked this one, there were others lol
Oooo I'll check them out
I love some dirty jokes 😂
🤣🤣🤣 seriously tho, it helps people laugh through uncertain times. Do serious questions/takes too... But sometimes just need a break from fear our hatred or bashing and share laughter
Completely agreed! Thanks for doing that
That's usually when they "pop up" ... When there's some excitement going on somewhere
Yeah that makes sense
I like this joke and it's a 10/10 pickup line
🤣🤣 you don't really use that as a pick up line, do you 🤔🤣🤣🤣
Lol I don't realy use pickup lines anymore but if I did hell yeah I'd use it the abject look of horror on the girls face would be hilarious
🤣🤣 you're so bad 🤣🤣 although that would be funny 🙂
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
🙂🙂😅😅 hope TomTom can"handle" it 😅😅
OMG I was thinking the same thing LOL
He didn't show up to the party 🙁🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Thanks dude
Welcome 🙂 more dudette🤣
I got a good sex joke
I WANNA KILL MYSELF
Reported
Tf I was just playing I’m not being serious
Then I'm sorry but there was someone taking about killing people on another post of mine, then a user that was understand pretending to be 18 then see this... If too wrong, I apologise
*underage
Na it’s my bad my bad
Misunderstanding..🤷🏼♀️ forgiven? Or bad joke 🤣🤣 lol jk
Sure lady whatever makes you sleep better at night
🤣🤣 well didn't lose sleep over it lol but ok thanks
Very funny - thanks!!
Thank you 🙂🙂
WOW, these were funny as hell 🤣 thanks.
Thanks 🙂🙂
Hahahahahha keep in touch with your jokes 😂
Lol thanks
Sexualized
Definitely drunk... oh lord im a whore.
Lmao you the first to "answer" the question 🙂... Should get mho just for that! 🙂 Don't worry tho, designated driver here 🤣🤣
Take me drunk, im home.
🤣🤣🤣 could've been worse, could've been "dead" ... So guess you just a half whore🤣🤣🤣
Sweet
🤣🙂
Kinda like when you parent say you will go blind if you masterbate... can i just do it till i need glasses...
🤣🤣🤣 is that why my eyesight so bad 🤔🤔 what does it mean if have a bad stigmatism 🤣🤣
Thank god for lasik!!! I was able to star all over again!!!
🤣🤣 so you wearing glasses again 🤣🤣
Actually... yes
Well, if you go blind, I got a cane you can borrow 🙂🤣
Spanks
I'd be fine
👍👍🙂
Lol especially the marriage one
Thanks 🙂
Start catching up then
Lol what? Start catching up what?
This is for people who want to do this see everyone later have a great day today and everyday
Fuck that's hilarious... U r gooood🤣🤣
Jokes weren't mine lol did do one with my own jokes but don't think they were as funny ☹️🤣🤣 but.. Thank you, glad you enjoyed
🤣🤣 your questions are goood tooo... It will be great to chat with you someday.. when my xper level improves lol...🤣🤣 Then I can ping u
Thanks for the compliment 🙂🙂
Cheers to life...
🍻🥂
This is actually funny 😂
🙂 thanks
After that life js sucks
Aww why do you say that
Cos it's happened with me
What did?
If be dead because of the folly of my youth. Great jokes!
Lol join the club apparently... Asked that as a poll question lol and... Thanks 🙂