Expectations or my love language?

[Stephrose88]

My man and I reconnected 3 months ago. We got forced apart by parents 13 years ago and when we reconnected he seemed so crazy bout me. He would admire me, we would have sex almost every day he would stroke me. But now I feel like that honeymoon phase is already gone! He doesn't admire me like he used to 2 months ago we have sex maybe once a week (he always has issues with climaxing too and high blood pressure), and he barely touches me. But for me, I'm crazy about him. I can't stop looking at him and checking him out ALL THE TIME, and stroking his skin. I get home from work and if he's on video game or watching TV it's like I'm not there even if I'm changing right in front of him. He doesn't even turn his head. 😔 I don't know I hate complaining but I catch myself crying bc I don't feel like I get the attention I need from him and I'm crazy about him it hurts. He claims he loves me so much and the way he talks to me and texts me seems like he really does love me but... Like I'm laying here this morning (supposed to be sleeping) watching him get ready for work and his eyes are wandering everywhere while he's changing and doesn't even notice me watching him. Like if I'm sleeping why doesn't he watch me or look at me/ admire me? I do him all the time.
So are my expectations too high? Or is it my love language unmet?
No judgmental remarks pls.

[Twalli]

I just bgg think you have different ways of expressing love. Have you talked about it?
He may see nothing wrong with the way you two express love, so without communication nothing will change

[Stephrose88]

Yeah I think you're right. I'm going to talk with him and go over our love languages again together. We haven't talked about it yet bc it hadn't been an issue for me until recently

[bowenw]

I hope it all works out for you. Stay healthy and safe.

[monkeynutts]

He probably is watching, but it's subtle, and not when you are paying attention. You should just relax, and wait, be patient.

[Stephrose88]

I agree thanks! :)

[spartan55]

Do you know his love language?

[Stephrose88]

His apparently is physical touch and quality time just like me.

[spartan55]

What do you mean "apparently?" Does mean you had a discussion and talked about it? Or are you just assuming you know what he thinks?

[Stephrose88]

I don't assume. We have this app together called Love Nudge and at first you take a quiz to see what your live language is and the percentage of each. Our percentaged for each love language matched up exactly. Weird

[bowenw]

It sounds like he may see you more as a roommate than soulmate. You need to have a serious conversation with him about it and where he sees the relationship going. If he's avoiding sex because of health issues, get him into see a doctor.

[Stephrose88]

Good advice, thanks!

[DavidFox]

Def sounds like he loves you via words of affirmation but your language is physical touch. When you told him your language is physical touch what did he say?

[Stephrose88]

I don't know nothing really. We have the Love Nudge app that's all about the 5 love languages. And all of our live languages match up! He claims his I'd physical touch too but if that's the case and he knows mine is too why doesn't he act on it? Doesn't make sense.

[DavidFox]

No that makes no sense at all. If his was also touch you two would constantly be touching. Maybe his testosterone is starting to dip as you mentioned some health challenges. Also ya after a few months the novelty wears off and you both have to work to keep the spark alive. While he uses words of affirmation to love you, does he also seduce you with words and crave you and your body when he’s away? Also do you two still plan dates and go out romantically?

[Stephrose88]

Yeah I do think his testosterone is def low. Yeah he does seduce and seem to crave while away. But when I get home, nothing. I know he works long days too and he's tired which I completely understand and respect. I just am so crazy about him still and he seems to be still too in other ways but I need more physical attention. I will def be taking to him about this. I recently/ still going through divorce so I already have stress on my plate and with my kids. :/

[DavidFox]

As a guy I can tell you we like to go into our ‘caves’ and shut out the world for a while after work. That’s one reason why video games or watching a ballgame is so appealing. So I would suggest you encourage him to do that but also negotiate some one on one time daily. It may be as simple as for 30 minutes when the last one gets home you both sit together with zero technology (no phones, tv..). and he gives you a shoulder or foot massage while talking about your day. Even that half hour reconnection should alleviate the lack of intimacy you feel and then he would be free to play a video game for a bit. Make sense?

[Stephrose88]

Absolutely! Love your advice thanks so much!

[niveeee]

I guess may be it's because of the following:
1.
I think may be it's bc you are giving too much of undue attention. It's like How would you feel if you have to eat the same dish again and again (even though it may be your favourite)? Dont take it wrongly. Overdoing it might have bored him.
So give it a break.
If Possible pleasure yourself on your own or can take help of someone else. ( *Tip: men can't tolerate when they see their better half is not interested in them, they will possibly try everything under the sun to get her back-"ONLY IF ITS A TRUE LOVE" ).
2.
He might have find someone else for his sexual pleasures (other than you). Which may be one of the reason (s) that he lost interest with you.

*I didn't intend to hurt your feelings for him in anyway. But it's the most common reason for guys why they lose interest in their partners.
& I hope you will get out of this mess real soon.

[Stephrose88]

thanks so much! I will def give it a rest :)

[havingfun101]

Those who play together stay together. I'm a rage golem and I hate everyone, but I'll help you out.
70% of American people (wealthy countries) are overweight or obese.
The aromatase cellular response turn androgens into estrogens via the fat cells, thus overweight people have higher estrogen.
Male brains, on average have 2.5 times the brain space devoted to sex drive in the hypothalamus.
Run in place 30 minutes a day; an hour if you want to lose weight at a noticable rate.
Soup, salad and steak are the three food groups. The name of the game is: sexy workout.
YouTube has guided workouts by impact ratings, age, fitness levels, whatever.

[Stephrose88]

Thanks man! Yeah we def play in other ways haha like spanks and tickling n such. But yeah he does want to lose weight. He's not like "obese" tho he just has a belly on him but still so fucking attractive to me.

[havingfun101]

You were teens when you met and girls are boring. I stopped paying video games, personally, but it's mostly escapism unless one uses the simular for skill acquisition. Dancing is a big subject in the entertainment industry for good reason. Have fun out there. Marriage, cohabitation and childbirth are at all time lows and I hate you.

[Stephrose88]

Awwww don't hate me! :( LOL

[havingfun101]

I hate God, you're just a dumb girl. Oh and try giving fatty a foot massage; I used to do that for my dad when I was 5, before the torture started. 🖕

[Cellestial]

There's that stereotype that men are always hungry for pussy and that's not true! Don't get me wrong men do love sex and it's so easy to turn them on but we still get sick of it if we get a lot of it in a short period of time. It's like food, you're hungry for it and then you eat non stop till you can't anymore and that's when you don't even look at it anymore.
So my suggestion for you is to take a step back, don't initiate it, make him starve for it and don't have sex with him even if he asks for it, tease him and make it hard until he can't resist but jump on you!

[Stephrose88]

Love it! Will do ;)

[pizzalovershouse]

Congrats have a good thing an keep it alive

[pizzalovershouse]

I mean with communication an never forget guys have a heart they try to protect in bad times

[Stephrose88]

Absolutely!

[pizzalovershouse]

😊👍

[Anonymous]

Try wearing sexy lingerie in night and roam braless around the house

[Stephrose88]

Yeah I gotta get something. I mean I know he already likes what I wear bc he's does spank/ grab my ass and boobs in bed. I just want more intimate loving connection not always sexual.

[Stephrose88]

Can't roam braless but always am in front of him in the room anyway.

[Opinion Owner]

I mean kinda strap on lingerie or those bra made of net. Why can’t you be braless in front of him? By bra less I meant just wear t-shirt with out bra

[Stephrose88]

I said I am in front of him in the room. Just can't roam house like that bc his bro lives with us and he doesn't want me to lol.

[Opinion Owner]

Lol. I didn’t know about his brother

[Stephrose88]

Haha yea