Sexual Relationships
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Exploring your sexuality! Why is this only acceptable when talking about the LGBT+ group?

Exploring your sexuality! Why is this only acceptable when talking about the LGBT+ group?

I read an article yesterday which discussed a lesbian and a woman who were best friends get married. They moved from Canada to Berlin and only after a period during the lockdown did they realise although they're not sexually attracted they are soul mates. The straight woman met this lesbian when she was exploring her sexuality. Now married they will engage in romantic and sexual pursuits with those they prefer but this is the relationship they want to come home to.

Anyways I considered this phrase over and over. Exploring your sexuality, exploring your sexuality.

When I was a younger woman I explored my sexuality, with men, that entailed holiday romances, interracial dating and at one point what turned out to be an affair.

When I got with my ex whom I really loved and could have seen myself settling with, that changed when he realised how open and free thinking I was. He and like many others decided to go on the war path to breaking me down simply because I didn't conform.

My sexual, emotional and mental needs suddenly were dictated to me by the people who deemed me a heathen. For having friends of different backgrounds. And dating outside my race. Not settling with one, or tolerating the oppressive behaviour.

Anyways this I think is an amazing statement we need to start using when we see a young women or man, gay etc person when dating.

They're not greedy, a slag or a slut or a player when they treat all parties involved fairly.

I'm proud of who I am. I didn't lead anyone on or falsely try to manipulate them into whatever it is I want.

I must admit though that I didn't realise that I could command my life the way I wanted openly. Beyond the person I was with. Publicly I kept my sexual encounters between myself and the man I was with. If my friends asked u did discuss who I was with but. I only ever was known as single or in a relationship when it was with someone long term that I now realised only liked my sexual liberation. But that liberation was frowned upon by himself. Should he need to explain who I was to perhaps a family member.

I am not a slag, I am not a whore, I am not a man thief or a social prior. I, we consented to engaging in whatever we did, and by all accounts it was incredibly vanilla.

But either this is my life, and if im not good enough because I'm loose, or not honouring my roots as a black woman, or giving it away.

Remember this, it's mine to give to whomever and however I deem right.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • People like the shame others because deep down they are as miserable as everyone else but they take out on someone else to feel good about their selves of course. I cam to the age where i encourage people to talk about their relationships in a serious matter because it's underrated and many relationships are going apart for miscommunication mostly. If i don't try and fail ! How would i know what things works for me and what things that does not work for me? If no one is talking about it seriously nor teach me, how am gonna have my own relationship and a part of it?
    Sexuality is important for me as a person and of course in relationship, i talk about it so i can draw others whom are open about theirs, they get ideas from their stories and the same thing back. I have not been with multiple partners! I have been with one partner, i try things with her and she does the same, it's fun, refreshing and exciting. If this relationship never worked from the beginning! I have no idea where i would be at this moment, BUT! I am in it and dedicate my time and energy for it, no (What if) or (what would happen) it worked between us and we are having fun with each other.

    • I always enjoy hearing you speak on such things. So open minded and just at peace. Maybe that due to how your life started. I really don't know. But a massive part of me just wants freedom. I would have done somethings that were requested but there was always this niggling feeling that it just wasn't exclusively happening between us. I also got the feeling like I often did that I was degrading myself as perhaps a form of making him feel superior. I dunno everything seemed to be about power with him. Scary! Anyways happy romancing...

  • Exploring my sexuality is one of the reasons I'm on here because I'm simply can't in real life at this moment

    • I really do hope you get to move away from here once life resumes. Honestly too much time here isn't good. In all honesty the little time I spent on here I have realised just how much the world has changed, the same with returning to university. The minds of people are really very different. But when it comes to sex. It's not something you can articulate. It really is a physical and instinct type of thing once you and your partner (s) have consented. I truly believe you will find what you are looking for. X

    • Thank you for you kind words and for the mho

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Yea im not the best person to answer this cause im admittedly judgmental af. Exploring sexuality to me has nothing to do with hoeing. To me, it means the person is experimenting with both sexes. I wouldn't date a guy who got sexual with another man because in my eyes, he’s gay from there on out. He may not call himself that or admit it, but whatever he did was probably an act that only someone whos gay would do. So he can call it exploring sexuality but he can take it elsewhere because i want no part in it. And the straight woman in the story who married a woman wouldve no longer been straight in my opinion either.

    • It's a good thing I was talking about it in regards to me exploring it with straight men as a straight woman. I have no desire to engage in same sex encounters

  • It is your life to do with as you please but you must also be responsible with it, I applaud you for living as you see fit, but what many people won't understand if that the whole explore your sexuality movement was not one for liberations as it claimed but something more undermining, I won't go fully into the motives behind that and other free expressive ideology that's brought about this division amount, people in this and other countries, but it's been in the planning for many decades and has targeted colleges universities, as it's first strike, every one should live their lives without constraint or prejudice, but not by manipulation or misled, but that's what has been taking place for decades and it's not all bad a lot of good cave from those seeking liberation but with a price and confusion, it's a war not with guns or large armies, just a few weeks place dissenters able to influence those in a way that being about change, disruptions, rebellions, anarchy in a society, bring down your foe from within, just look back at all the nations and you will see the pattern and it continues to this day, with freedom comes responsibility, respect, not arrogance through deception being misguided, ignorance, social upheavals, I'm so for peoples liberation, freedom to do as they choose long as it harms no one or themselves in process, just use common sense in what you choose to do I admire you for sharing this thank you,

    • Aww thank you, I understand this and I do think it's a form of a mental and social prison. I remember my ex saying I wasn't marriage material and that really hurt especially given that I had never cheated on him, helped him financially, took him to A&E when he was really sick and wrote a letter to achieve a job promotion. Anyways I thought those were the things normal couples do for each other. Just seems I was always doing for him whilst I got a hour of his time as and when he felt like it. I realise now it was exploitation

  • "When I was a younger woman" it's because times are different now. At the time you were condemned for your sexual exploration, lgbt people were more likely to be condemned, too

  • Sorry for the cliche but,, you go girl.

  • You and my wife would talk up a storm over a few bottles of wine.
    You're like the same person but she married a guy who could handle her.
    I'm sorry you had the roadblock of a jerk for a husband.
    I hope you find a partner who will truly appreciate you and satisfy you.

    • She is very fortunate to have such an open minded fella...

    • You have no idea...😉

  • I feel you here.

    • 😊 Thanks. I wish to start a movement called #mindyourbusiness

    • I'm in!

    • would you like to follow me back so I can message you? :)

  • You have to do what you feel is best for you as both a woman and a person.

  • no, unless your actually gay

  • Wait, so what happened in the relationship with the dude you could've seen yourself settling down with? How long were you together and why exactly did you end up breaking up?

    • When I got with my ex whom I really loved and could have seen myself settling with, that changed when he realised how open and free thinking I was. He like many others decided to go on the war path to breaking me down simply because I didn't conform to the norm.

    • So how long were you with him? And when did he realize how open and free thinking you were?

    • I've always been open and free thinking. But I'm not sure you understand what that means. I'm not here engaging in fetish or wild sex like threesomes or anything like that!

    • Show All

  • Um... what does interracial have to do with sexually exploring? What, did you also sexually explore blondes vs brunettes, short vs tall, funny vs serious guys?

    • Maybe you can think about what I wrote, and maybe discuss this with a friend or two.

    • I read what you wrote. I only commented on one part of it. Maybe you wanna try and defend your bigotry rather than feigning stupidity.

    • Not a bigot but your misunderstanding seems to make you think you're entitled to name call. Why is that?

  • A lot of people don't seem to understand me and my girlfriends arrangement

    • Do they really need to?

    • We try to keep it private but some people find out about it

    • Well maybe that's a good thing. Keeping it private!

    • Show All

  • its a two way street. you are free to do everything you want but nobody has to accept you. they can choose to reject you for anything that you have done or not done. That is how freedom works. I am guess that you dont like that part

    • I don't mind being rejected what I don't like is being tormented by someone that claims to like me for the freedom I possess and live

  • You don’t get to decide what other people find gross.


    You just decide that your experimentation wasn’t gross doesn’t magically make other people feel that way. When we want other people to be a part of our lives we cater to them. We don’t say fuck you imma do what I want. That’s just abrasive.

    • And as I said to another anonymous member I don't care what other people think. They're entitled to their thoughts but what I hate is when you choose to be with me and then try and punish me for the very things I have done it's all in or all out. And the same will be given to you

    • They can't know everything about you from the get go. Whenever they learn about whatever particular thing they don't like, that's when it's going to become an issue. It's not something decided at the outset. Furthermore, you call it "punishment", but if you're just talking about shaming then that's fine. Shaming is how we correct undesirable behaviour through culture rather than resorting to authoritarian mandate.

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