When asked "Whats your number?" Referring to sexual partners.
"I'm a virgin"
What I fail to mention and even sidestepped in my answer is that I might be a virgin, as in I’ve not had a penis penetrate my vagina, but I have engaged in oral sex multiple times, both giving and receiving.
-Chlamydia
-Syphilis
-Herpes
-HIV
Some scary stuff.
This isn't just about vaginal and anal sex, these are just four of the diseases you have the potential to spread by engaging in oral sex alone, low risk but there’s still a risk.
This is why, I feel, you should include "just" oral sex partners in your number.
I have the right to know who and what I'm opening myself up to not only on an emotional level but also what I could face in terms of my health and well being.
1) It makes no difference to me if a person wants to call themselves a virgin and has had several partners when it comes to oral sex.
(My only issue with this would be are they open and honest about it, if someone lied to me about it then it's a problem)
2) *I* consider it included in my number if there's been an exchange of bodily fluids, a risk of STD/I and/or penetration whether it's oral, vaginal or anal.
I understand not everyone agrees with point two, but that's where I stand and how I feel about it.
I asked a question some time ago and have seen this come up more than a few times. While the majority of people that have responded with their opinions on the topic believe it's only sex and should be added to the count if its vaginal or anal sex I'm not so sure I agree.
(Also, to go a step further, while this take is primarily about oral sex the number of people that believe anal sex is an acceptable alternative for sex while staying “virgins” is insane to me. I just do not get it. How they can think they are remaining virgin by taking it up the ass is beyond me. If you have insight here, I’d love to hear it)
That just feels a lot like a moral loop hole to me.
While these people haven't engaged is vaginal sex and are still physically virgins they have still had oral sex. So morally and emotionally are they really still virgins? I'm on the fence here. There are still risks that go along with it and it's still an intimate act. Some may even argue oral sex is more intimate than vaginal sex.
So for those that are saving themselves and have expectations of their partner saving themselves for marriage for emotional reasons how can you rationalize this behavior? Or can you?
Would a person that values sex still consider a person that's had “only” oral sex a virgin? I mean physically they are. There hasn't been a penis in their vagina or they haven't had their penis in a vagina so they're still technically virgin I suppose.
I personally cannot wrap my head around it though. If you value sex as an act that's only for people that are in love and want to save it for that person you marry I don't understand how you can turn a blind eye to this type of behavior.
Im not saying people are wrong for engaging in sexual activities if they are comfortable doing so and are with someone they choose to do that with. If that's what you want to do then by all means enjoy yourself and be safe. I just don't understand how one can be a "virgin" after having taken part in sexual activities even if it's not vaginal intercourse.
Don't misunderstand me please, I am not trying to make virgins that have had oral sex out to be villains or call them liars, it's just a thought I've had recently and wanted to share my thoughts on it and see what others had to say as well.
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