Fear that white women might look down on me because of my height

[Anonymous]

So I grew up in South East Asia. Growing up, I never thought that height is gonna turn to be something important, this might be because most Asian girls in my school are shorter than me and I thought I was gonna grow tall. I never seen someone getting bullied because of his size, eventhough I never seen a couple where the guy is shorter either, I never heard a girl saying "I love him, he's so tall". But I never wanted height, I just want to be handsome and muscular to attract girls. I was ugly as fuck as a child.

Few years later, I turned to be good-looking and ripped, but ended up 5'6" which is 3" shorter my father, only an inch taller than my sister. I don't mean to boast, but it's very common for me to go out and get praised by friends or unknown people because of my ripped body and my facial aesthetic, there was a lot of Asian gay people harassing me too, but I am aware that height is not important for gay people. But again, it really worries me, because this happen in Asian where most girls are shorter than me. Even in Asia, I am weak average in height here, so they might overlook the fact that I am 1-2" shorter than average because of my aesthetic face. A 5'11" Chinese friend once told me that my height is perfect because Bruce Lee wasn't that tall. A lot of Chinese and Korean people bringing up my aesthetic face. But the truth is I envy them for being tall. I envy my father for being 5'9"-5'10"

I haven't experienced the same treatment from any white people. Few years back, I trained boxing with some Finland, French, Dutch guys, I feel that they appreciate my Black friend and an Asian guy who're 5'11" than me. This made sense because they're all 5'11" and above.

I found reddit and misc in the end of 2013. This made me realize how important height is in Western society. Litle by little, I developed fear that my ugly-average looking friends who're 5'9" and above will be well more appreciated and desirable to white girls than me. I don't feel good when I see whoever is taller than me which is most people. Whenever I see a tall buff Asian guy, I immediately think the fact that they have a better chance with white girls when I am don't. I also immediately fantasize them banging white girls and pleasing them with their dick which is most likely bigger than mine due to the fact that they're taller in height.