Sexual Relationships
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Feel guilty for cumming?

I just need to vent a little about something that's been on my mind lately... My boyfriend was my first and we've been together two years. I was unable to orgasm for a good year and a half but several months ago I was able to relax and get out of my own head and orgasm strictly with penetration to which I've been able to do since. It's would be a wonderful thing except I feel guilty when I do. I cum really hard and my vagina tightens up to where it pushes him out and sometimes it's almost impossible to get it back in and let him finish inside me. The more I cum the tighter I get and we generally have to take a break or multiple because of me. Don't get me wrong, it feels amazing and we have an even more amazing connection now but recently he's been put on medication to which a side effect is difficulty getting off. So that combined with having to take breaks, it just feels like he isn't getting the most out of it. And I feel absolutely terrible. It's not that I don't get him off but it takes a long time and generally by that time I can't handle anymore penetration so he doesn't get to finish inside me as much as he used to (it's something that he really enjoys and so do I). He's never ever complained but I feel guilty about it which is making sex more of a chore than fun. Last night we had to take a second break and he went soft and no matter what I did it was like he just couldn't get hard even though he hadn't cum yet. Not being able to get hard is another side effect of the medication but in the back of my mind I can't help but think it's all my fault. I love him so much and I want to make sure he's satisfied in the bedroom.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • You shouldn't worry about it. But if you are wanting to finish him off try a different method. A handjob or a blowjob or whatever other method you can find. maybe go slower and when he gets close then go for it and maybe you can find a way to "meet in the middle" so to speak. But you really shouldn't feel bad sometimes it happens, eventually you will reach a point where you won't constrict at much and then you will both be able to finish in the same moment. But its a natural thing.

    • I always make sure he cums unless he just absolutely can't and he gives up haha I try to make sure he's still enjoying it even if it's not penetrative sex! We explore and touch and try new things! I guess I just needed to be reassured that it's a natural thing and there really isn't much I can do to control that! Thank you for the comment!

    • Anytime!:) There is never much one can do to control how their body works, and personally I like the natural way bodies work. It's an art to be appreciated.

  • Your boyfriend should probably talk to his doctor to see if there is a different medication he can take with fewer side effects. You can also try different sex positions. Some sex positions cause the vagina to be tighter than other positions. If you've only recently begun having orgasms from vaginal penetration, you may eventually gain more control over those muscles. Practice makes perfect.

    • We try to switch it up as much as possible so that I'll get close but don't cum but that doesn't always work! Haha we will definitely continue practising that's for sure 😉

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Blow job afterwards.

  • try not to worry about it and not make a big deal about it. it's just something to over come. perhaps he can work on staying inside while you are orgasm

    • It's definitely something we try but sometimes it's also just too much for me to handle so we cannot continue! I'm trying my best to just enjoy it and accept that it happens

  • So, your complaint is that he lasts too long, and you come too hard ;)

    Not bad, not bad. My take on it: the best part isn't the orgasm, it's all the fun you have before and after. If you feel really guilty, why not experiment more spicy stuff? Blowjobs, anal, stick a finger in his butt, etc.

    • Lol no complaints what so ever! Just a concerned girlfriend! We definitely take time for foreplay and touching after! We even have sessions where I just sit there and touch him. We're very sexual people so we're always experimenting and trying to toys, positions, techniques, etc. Thanks for the comment though!

    • Usually it's the guy who gets performance anxiety ;) Don't worry though, talking it out is the most important thing, and you seem to be doing this right.

    • Thanks, much appreciated!

  • The side effects will go away

    • We're hoping! It's been a few months now but the side effect could still fade!

    • Yes they will go away completely but it takes a little while. I'm guessing it's anti-depressants

    • Good guess. I take it you've had personal experience with this same thing or know someone who has?

    • Show All

  • not really..
    its a natural thing that happens...

  • It would be a compliment for me if the same thing happened with my girlfriend. I would be very proud of myself and it would boost my self-esteem alooooooooooot.

    • It's good to know it could be a self esteem booster. Helps me fee a bit better about it!

  • You are so lucky. Enjoy every moment

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