Feeling grossed out about my boyfriend masturbating?

I live with my boyfriend (in a one room apartment) and we have pretty similar sex drives but his is slightly higher. Today I was working on an assignment for my Uni and he really wanted to have sex. I was annoyed because he broke my focus and o wasn’t in the mood. But I really hate the idea of him masturbating, I don’t know why but it really grosses me out, makes me feel sick even. Usually he never does because we have sex whenever there’s an urge but at times like this when I don’t want to, he says he has to let it out. I’m not really sure what makes me feel this way besides my own sex guilt perhaps.
does anyone else know how to stop feeling like this about their partner masturbating? Or perhaps why I feel like this?
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Superb Opinion

  • Don't you ever masturbate? What do you do if he's not home or busy when you're feeling frisky? After a few years of marriage, things will change, circumstances, sex drives. If you don't remedy this quirk now, it's gonna be really bad when life happens. Sometimes I have to do things myself for a time before things work out. Our sex drives have changed over the years. Mine has only gone down slightly, but hers has dropped significantly. There's times she does it just cause I have the urge but I can tell she's not into it so that ruins it. I would be better off just to go it alone. Just my thoughts but it's something to communicate these feelings and talk through it. Good luck!

Most Helpful Guy

  • I feel that the "guilt" of turning him down and realizing he's taking matters into his own hands (pun intended) is what is really causing this grossed out feeling.

    part of you knows "i need to focus"
    and another part of you knows "that probably hurt him a little, even though he still understands"

    Maybe talking with him about it and reassuring yourself that you have nothing to feel guilty about might be enough to remove the *icky* factor of this scenario.

Most Helpful Girls

  • No idea. Not a single friend I had ever said this and I don't think this is going to help you in this or any future relationship you have.

    My suggestion is to spend time watching him masturbate.

    Get on your bed, you sit or lay there, tell him watch porn and masturbate in front of you, and you force yourself to watch him. You could do it in shower too.

    If it's hard to watch and you feel like walking out, tie your hands to the bed.

    Either way, you will have to get use to it if you want to have a relationship.

    • Those are all good suggestions.

  • You really are not mature or even ready to be in a relationship if this grosses you out and you think he shouldn’t be masturbating tell yourself masturbating even while in a relationship is normal, it’s healthy tell yourself it’s a way for someone to relieve themselves and their sexual urges

    • He mentioned in the past that he masturbated while thinking about another girl while we were dating, so I think this is part of my problem.

    • @xuicide << sit him down and read the book "SEX AT DAWN" by Cacilda Jetha and Christopher Ryan.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 10
  • Oh my god suck him already

    • Truth!

  • If you are near while he is masturbating, take over for him either by a handjob or oral.

  • You're not kinky enough for him, leave him so he can find another female that is just as kinky as he is.

    • God bless you

    • Would love to talk to you

    • Show All
  • You need to get over that.

  • Why let him play or he may find another one to play with?

  • He wanted you. But you, the love of his life left him hanging, yeah sometimes it isn't the right time.
    What do you expect him to do?

    It's normal. Most women have an army of dildos and such too. And that's also normal.

    You both have needs, everybody will not always get what they want but both should try to be understanding. 😗

  • Do you have an issue with the act of him masturbating or what he uses to masturbate?

  • It sounds like you need to work through your own sex guilt so it dosent mess up your current relationship

  • Do you masturbate at all? How was masturbation seen among your friends and family growing up?

  • Tell your boyfriend he is an idiot and he should read about taoism and how important not letting at least the seminal seed is, letting out the pressure is different

  • Masturbating is a normal activity for any individual, irrespective of their gender, sexuality, or marital status. It is absolutely okay for married men and women to masturbate. However, this does not mean that their partner is not satisfying them or they are sexually unhappy. Don't feel grossed out.