Feeling like I don’t do that much sexually during sex?

I will join in and go on top. Say things- say what I want. Do things I know they like. Demand things, do the things I like. Moan etc

But I just feel like I don’t do that much

It might be because I’m not that into sex and much prefer masterbating.

But I just feel like there’s a lot more I could do. The other person always says I’m so hot or that was so good when you did x y z.

Is this jsut because I’m not too into it or should I be doing more
Not that into it
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Should be doing more
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Girl Guy
0 0

Superb Opinion

  • sorry for the long answer😅 I added a TLDR at the end.
    I haven't had much experience, and most of them were honestly worse than doing it alone, but I think one thing changes everything: mind space.

    I had a few pointless sexual encounters, which usually felt good physically, but I would always wonder if I'm doing well, or if I should do things differently, and I would always look for signs of feedback from that night's partner.

    but one time I slept with someone I actually cared about and, while I did care for her experience, my mind wasn't as cluttered. and it felt more like my mind tried to just connect instead.

    I don't know who your partner is, or if it's even a regular partner (s), but maybe that's what you lack, that *urge* to connect (non-sexual) that just spills into the physical part. then the "sexy" idea falls off, and the act itself becomes what's sexy, even the funny mistakes of accidentally farting, or breaking the bed make it more charming.

    maybe if you have a regular partner then you could do stuff that is not straight-up sex. just do mutual masturbation, or he helps you, so you just focus on yourself, and then you switch. after a few times, you might get a clue if your headspace is the problem or not, and how to get there, or maybe it's the type of physical stimulation, or maybe it's just getting used to being exposed and vulnerable with that specific person (just letting them masturbating you gives them full control over you).

    but there's always the chance that that is how you are wired and that is okay too. but if you are still not satisfied with that. as a last resort I'll add that some women use alcohol or weed to inhibit their brain a bit so they could connect to the moment better. but I don't think it's a good long-term solution.

    TLDR: try to find the right headspace such as feeling safe with your partner and being in the moment. to do so maybe you can try sexual acts that aren't sex and find the problem with (kind of) differential diagnostics. and finally, alcohol might help in the short run.

Most Helpful Guy

  • We all are different and yes even those of us in a relationship with sex still masturbate... some solo time where it is all about you is great. Has your boyfriend/husband said anything about how the sex is with you?

Most Helpful Girl

  • Relationship over

    Do you love them? Then it is more then just what you do.

    Like what more can you do?

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 3
  • You're fine. I love it if a girl is on top of me.

  • Suck cock baby, do u do it?

  • There is no bond and connection with him there is no foreplay to get you in the mood

    • Obviously we do oral and stuff I’m purely talking about the sex. Not what happens before hand

    • There has to be a connection and a bond before so it's better