Female masturbation?

Is masturbating something to be ashamed of? I'm 20, all my childhood/teenage years I was taught that I can't pleasure myself, just to pleasure others. I've been molested, raped... used for other people's pleasures. So that's why it's in my mindset. I was never given privacy at my teenage years. I was with my boyfriend for 2 years. I've told him about it and he thinks it's stupid. But I feel ashamed of touching myself. And when I know he is, I tell him my opinion. No one understands me. I try to get myself to do it, but it ends up with me being disgusted in myself. Any advice or words of wisdom?
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Edit: thanks guys.. an gals. I actually had a talk with a female doctor and she said in the future we can work on the trauma down there and what we can do. 🫶🏼
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Superb Opinion

  • Is masturbating something to be ashamed of?
    *No it is not. Even the Christian bible is mute on this except for Onan's story which is about disobedience to G0d.

    I'm 20, all my childhood/teenage years I was taught that I can't pleasure myself, just to pleasure others. I've been molested, raped... used for other people's pleasures. So that's why it's in my mindset.
    *I deeply regret that in your behalf.

    Any advice or words of wisdom?
    *I'm not a social philosopher. I view masturbation as a means sexual working out, and training; much like running or other exercise. It keeps both my plumbing and libido in good working order. It is also known that women on the average are less able to achieve orgasm than are men. Masturbation is a way to understand and direct your responses so you can improve them.

    You scratch your back when you need to. You should masturbate when you need to. It is a tension reducer and helps with sleep. You owe it to yourself.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Nothing to be ashamed of. Do it for all I care. The way how ‘You mustn’t pleasure Yourself, just pleasure others,’ reminds me of loving: ‘You mustn’t love Yourself, just love others.’ Take neither saying seriously! Love Yourself if You want others to love You. Pleasure Yourself if You want others to pleasure You.

    However, some spiritual people reckon masturbation a sin in Islam, Judaism, and Christianity, but I have read much of all three, and found nothing forbidding it. Just don’t do it on daylight of Ramadān (for Muslims), Yom Kippur (for Biblicals), or Tisha b’Av (for pious Jews).

    Stupid ain’t a nice word.

Most Helpful Girl

  • masturbation is YOU TAKING CONTROL.


    this is YOUR BODY <3 i’m really sorry you weren’t protected like you should’ve been.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 13
  • Not at all- it's sex with someone you love. Other people's opinions on what you do in this matter are really irrelevant, since it doesn't involve anyone else in any way (assuming that you're doing it in private, of course, which you should be; indecent exposure is another matter).

    Beyond that, sex with another person is at its most satisfying when you know how you like to be touched, and how can you learn that without experimenting?

  • Of course it is absolutely fine for you to masturbate. It is nothing to be ashamed of.

    As you experienced sexual abuse in the past, have you thought about seeing a psychologist? There could be a link to your difficulties with masturbation as I think you are hinting at in your question already.

  • Not at all. Almost everyone does. It's normal and healthy. I consider it child abuse to tell children they shouldn't masturbate.

  • There's nothing wrong with masturbating for guys or girls. You should get some counseling for all the stuff you've mentioned. It's going to have a negative impact on your life unless you deal with it by talking it out with a therapist.

  • I feel guilty doing it too. I’m actually trying to quit.

  • Masturbation is the Lord's work. Keep on doing it whenever you can.

  • Don't feel ashamed and it's not nasty I've done it since a teenager too but I hid every time I feel ashamed too after masturbating too but I still do it I think it's pretty normal

    • Of course I'm a male and I wish you never had to go through those things you went through

  • it's ok u can pleasure urself but its not like when someone eat u out

  • I’m the same way, it’s a disturbed upbringing that trains us to deny our basic nature… 😑

  • It is very natural and normal to masturbate, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Enjoy

  • i am so sorry for the things that have happened to you and how you have been groomed and programmed. masturbation is natural and normal

    • We can talk anytime if you want

  • Its normal
    I do it and i think all of us do

  • No its not, and you should consider seeing a therapist for what happened to you.

  • It becomes very childish at a point. When that point is debatable of course, but for me, it is 18+ and that goes for men too.

    • What do you mean by it becomes childish?