Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
The Fifty Shades phenomenon has baffled many people since the book first starting selling like a wildfire in 2011. Many men especially, are confused by it. Why do women seem to like this story so much? In the era of # me too, and the fight over greater equality on a social scale, why is it that women fantasize about a vapid rich jerk, who emotionally manipulates them and sadistically dominates them in the bedroom?
I believe the biggest factor in all of this, is the one that is most often overlooked - women's sexual repression in our current society. For so long, men have had more freedom to be open about their sexual interests, to be regarded with praise for their sexual endeavors, and to gloat about their borderline addiction to Internet porn use. Women on the other hand, have always been expected to remain proper, polite, and squeaky clean, or face societal backlash and be labeled.
I think this all came to a head with Fifty Shades. It was the first mainstreamed, cultural push of a product that was aimed explicitly at women, and was also overtly sexual in nature. It created something of a bandwagon effect. Many, many women latched onto the books not because it was the most riveting tale they're ever heard of, but as a way of saying "Yeah, I'm interested in sexual stuff. Don't judge me, all of these other women are too".
It wouldn't have mattered what the story was about exactly, or how it was written. All that mattered was that it was a sexy book that all women were "allowed to be" intrigued by. It just so happens that the story was a poor blend of the Beauty and The Beast trope, mixed with porn-inspired ideas of what S&M relationships were like. Nobody was particularly thrilled with it, but more so the idea of going to see a smutty film with their girlfriends so that hopefully their man would start to raise an eyebrow.
You'll notice that most women, even those who've read the books and watched the movies will admit that the writing is bad, the story is stupid, the characters are dreadful... but they're still supporting the material, purchasing movie tickets and buying books. Not because it's good stuff, but because that's what they feel like they should be doing to send across the message that they just like any man, can be interested in trashy, sexual things as well.
It's not as though most women actually even endorse the series. Just because they supported it, doesn't mean it's actually their own fantasy. It's more-so an exploration into openly having their own sexual fantasies. However, I think a lot of this has gotten lost in translation. Many men are taking it to mean that women more than ever don't know what they actually want. Thinking that they may say they want to be treated with dignity, but really they want to be treated like trash. I don't think that's accurate.
I think a lot of women simply jumped on this Fifty Shades bandwagon to be part of the collective message that says "women are into sex too, and you men just don't understand us". I just wish that it could have been a better piece of literature for a jumping off place. I actually think Fifty Shades has done more damage than it has helped, in any regard.
In closing, I think the Fifty Shades was an unfortunate novel, that came around at a particularly troubled period in history, only further confusing women's sexually repressed state in society. Sending mixed messages and poor representations of what women want in terms of sex, the ethics of S&M play, and what a glamorous or ideal relationship looks like. It's all a big mess, and I think people often misunderstand what it all means. That's my opinion, anyway.
What Girls & Guys Said
17 53No, it’s more likely women simply fantasize about extreme dominance in men.
It all boils down to one thing:
If he hand't been rich, 50 Shades would have been an episode on CSI.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
😆😆ridiculous isn't she
I don't normally like to comment on a book I haven't read, but if you're looking for social commentary in Fifty Shades of Grey I think you're on the wrong page. Anecdotally it's a wankfest for middle aged ladies whose husbands can't get it up any more.
In the BDSM community repression and servitude equal liberation. Sexually submissive people want to be that way because of the repression.
How do you figure that?
That is interesting, I've never consider that.
Basically every BDSM information blog gives this as reasoning.
Yes. Tried to see the first movie. That was rough.
Bad take
Have you seen fifty shades freed
The whole gender equality in some communities has gone radical extreme and sometimes it doesn't reflect actual society status on this topic from statistical and scientific point of view.
I willing to assume that me and likely most any disagreeing male who tries to write here on this topic, probably will be met with distrust and even disdain under current circumstances, so I'll just say two things:
1. Gender hormone and physical differences are significant enough to create specific gender related temperamental differences that results in gender social inclination differences. This all resonates well in why "Fifty Shades" was so popular.
2. We humans are constantly (!) under effects various cognitive bias, and one of them that is naturally hard to deal with is Confirmation Bias... So if you really care for truth, you will have learn more about it.
It's psychology related, and psychology field is dominated by women, so you shouldn't have trust issues with that. :)
Best regards for you.
That’s a lot of word vomit
You are an idiot and missed what it was about. Go whine else where.
In what way are women sexually repressed? Ever since birth control was invented, women have been having sex at will easier than men ever could dream. Not to mention if the birth control doesn't work, they just go get an abortion. You seem to forget before the technological advancements, women were very likely to get pregnant when having sex often. That made both sexes less likely to have casual sex. You've taken the feminist pill and now can't think critically.
Women should be sexually repressed
women aren't sexually repressed in the modern world. what a load of feminist garbage.
I agree. People - especially dudes - took this too literally. Not everyone who liked it was even into s&m. Women just wanted to think long & hard about fucking without being judged.
And it’s written at a low - therefore accessible - reading level.
For the record, i think it’s hideously written, but greatness isn’t what sells books.
Interesting idea, but there have been other books before that never took off. Something was different about this one.
It was really bad literature and very bad pornographic literature.
It was stock full of stupid cliches. The rich strong powerful guy who is sooo emotionally wounded. He just falls head over heels for a poor average girl for no reason. Her important role is to save him... from... whatever, himself, the ghosts of his past, etc. Oh, and with all of the money around she is so modest and independent that she still wants to work for a stupid little salary and 401k. It even ends pathetically with her saving him this time financially. I really didn't get what it was trying to say. They should have just written a porn movie script and published it as a book.
"Holy s**t" and "holy cow" were the neatest and most expressive words the author new, and apparently thought it was very cool.
It just shows how shallow the audience is. That's the part that hurts.
I read it exactly because everyone else did, and also because it was shoved down my throat everytime I tried to find a good book.
It's so sad. There used to be such amazing writers in the world. They touched the deepest corners of your mind and heart, amused and entertained, awed and inspired, they made you laugh and made you cry, ...
Now everything is just sex sex sex.
Even the sex is a fake made-up lie😂. It proves neither the writers nor the readers have actually ever had sex in their lives, not to mention good sex.
Seems to me that after beating masculinity out of the public sphere, a whole lot of women are yearning to get freaking with a manly man after all.
50 shades of grey is for weak and submissive women, I never liked it.
Nope, that's not what it was about. The book and movie were popular among women for 3 obvious reasons:
1) women fantasize about being dominated by a man
2) women irresistibly drawn to "bad boys"
3) women are sexually attracted to men with money and power
Fifty Shades of Grey was indeed about woman's sexual repression, but not at all in the way you seem to suggest. The only sexual repression these books addressed is the repression brought on by feminism in recent decades, which has taught women it is wrong to allow themselves to be dominated by a man in any way. These books allowed them to once again indulge that fantasy without feeling like they are not "real women" for enjoying it. What these books have done is help undo decades of damage done by feminism.