Finally-why "The Number" matters to many men

A sequel to mytake "Women, remember: your body, your choice, your decision, your responsibility!"

So, if you have been on this website, or dated, or watched tv... you know that when it comes to relationships, many men in fact care about the number of sex partners the woman has had. Dare I say, a majority of women do not care about a men's count, due to their nature, so they are utterly baffled at why many men actually care when it comes to a relationship. (50/50 split on men's side?)

I shall attempt to convey what is going on in our minds.

1. Yes. Ego. Ego is a definite factor, no denying. We do want to be THE man for you. We want to be your Johnny Cage.

Finally-why

Maybe that is bad, you might think. I would argue that a proper ego, a decent measure of pride, drives many of us to greater things. After all, how many of us are too prideful to accept a lousy lot in life, and hence, our ego drives us to work harder, to keep job hunting, to become at least somewhat successful career wise? Either way. We realize that if we are partner two or three for you, we are much more likely to be your Johnny, as opposed to being your partner 37 and being this guy.

Finally-why "The Number" matters to many men

As he so aptly put it when the hot, slutty waitress finally agreed to marry him, "Noo! You're just saying that because it's a good choice! I'm like the boring bran muffin you pick instead of a pop tart because it's high in fiber! I want to be something exciting, not the boring health food!"

Reason 2. Insecurity. Ah, yes. We are afraid you'll be fantasizing about someone with a bigger dick or someone who choked you during sex and really got you off. Problem is, you might be. According to one random study that I include solely because it backs up what we worry, 52% of polled married women say the sex was better with an ex. https://nypost.com/2012/11/25/nobody-marries-their-best-sex-ever/

Who wants to be that boring husband that gets duty sex for hanging curtains from a woman was formerly having wild screaming sex with a guy she met an hour earlier in the club?

Reason 3. Divorce/Loss of Power. The instinct part of our brain tells us that if a woman has had lots of sex with lots of men, habits conitnue and she won't stick around. For men, divorce is a bad prospect. It is upsetting, and it is a common threatpoint, as many of us learned from our own mothers. When you are just dating a woman, you can ditch her if she gets miserable. If you are married and the higher earner? Divorce is a sword hanging over our heads, making us powerless. That is why cohabitation, then marriage, leads to divorce. In cohabitation, the woman knows that if she becomes unpleasant, the man can leave at little cost. In marriage, the woman knows that man can only leave at severe cost.

Having that threatpoint taking away our equal power makes men feel like.

Finally-why "The Number" matters to many men

Thing also is, studies back up our fear. The more partners a woman has had, the more likely she is to get a divorce. (As the legend goes, virgin brides/brides who only slept with the man they married, in the USA are the most loyal on average) And the majority of divorces in the USA are not due to cheating, physical abuse, or being a drug addict.

https://socialpathology.blogspot.com/2010/09/sexual-partner-divorce-risk.html

In summary, these reasons above are the main reasons why many relationship/marriage minded men in the USA ask, and care, about the woman's partner count, despite most women not caring about the man's sexual history, despite suggestions of people like myself that they should.

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  • "The instinct part of our brain tells us that if a woman has had lots of sex with lots of men, habits conitnue and she won't stick around."
    No no, the instinct of YOUR brains tells you this. This is an argument of someone who gives up easily.

    • Well, clearly the studies back up my brain, not yours...

    • Let's not forget the high probability of any potantial children not being yours.

  • this is fucking stupid and way off

    • with such an intelligent rebuttal, who can doubt the validity of your point?

  • Wow, this was pathetic..

    • in what area? i supported all my points.

  • I had a lot of partners. I've ben in love several times. I am faithful 2hen in a comitted relationship. Number of partners indicating stability in a relationship is stupid. I know I'd rather have one man I'm attracted to and who I trust. Problem is, I've been with some married or otherwise taken men and been hit on by way more married men then single, so I don't trust men to be faithful. There is the true problem, women who have had a lot of partners have learned just how faithless men can be and men know this. That's why they want inexperienced wives, the better to fool them, me dear! Oh, and they can be lousy lovers and she'll never know the difference.

    • as they say, water finds it's own level.

    • I believe women unfortunately have this little dilemma: men who play women, play women, and yeah are called heart breakers for a reason. Those guys are good with women and can get who they want. But at the price of potential non- commitment. Then there are the rest of the guys. Many who settle with a girl they don't truly, 100% like. They marry, have kids etc but they settled, it's not the life they chose. But they not good with women and know that they probably won't get another. But a lot of these men do want to experience other things (why not?). So they take chances with other women. It's why Ashley Madison was filled with married men, why married men visit prostitutes etc. Anf these guys are often genuine good guys who just suck with women and feel trapped by their options, caused by their poor decisions. Many men don't have the luxury of "many partners", so we wouldn't know.

  • It's only because it is usually higher than most Guys.

  • Great Take, it's supporting, also Girls shouldn't let temporary lust boys take advantage of their body in first place.

  • Why not work on bettering yourself? That can be applied to anyone. Focusing on the negative brings you down, and those around you.

    • I would say that a fair share of men, as much as women, do focus on bettering themselves.

  • "Ah, yes. We are afraid you'll be fantasizing about someone with a bigger dick or someone who choked you during sex and really got you off. Problem is, you might be. According to one random study that I include solely because it backs up what we worry, 52% of polled married women say the sex was better with an ex" THAT.

    THATS WHY HOES ain't MEANT FOR WIVES!

  • Men are insecure little creatures

    • with current divorce laws, they have good reason.

    • @myTakeOwner. I am surprised at you! Aspiring to be an editor surely must come with some resposibilities! Divorce laws are fair and square! That's right you heard me correctly! They are designed to help the "spouse"who sacrificed and/or stayed at home or earned less get what they morally and rightfully deserve. If you were that spouse I'm sure you'd play a different tune

    • The happy ones aren't!

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  • "As the legend goes, virgin brides/brides who only slept with the man they married, in the USA are the most loyal on average"

    Correlation does not imply causation. I would argue that it has more to do with their religion that "encourages" them to only have sex within the marriage that also "discourages" them from getting divorce.

    The number matters to women too, especially HOW you got that number.

    • Correlation does not equal causation, agreed. How many decent, hardworking, intelligent men want to wager 50% of their belongings/alimony payments on that?

    • Is this why men tell themselves it's ok to fuck around and then find a virgin bride he has to lie to about his number to get her to walk down the aisle with him?

    • Decent men don't lie to the one they love. ;)

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  • I can understand this, mainly because I prefer a guy who also has a low sex count