Fleshlight and a Dildo?

So my current girlfriend went snooping though my personal drawer the other day and discovered my Fleshlight. First it was not right of her to go though my things or is it her business. Keep this in mind that she has a few Dildos. I am comfortable in my own sexuality to know that masturbation is normal and I am OK with it. I even enjoy toys during the bedroom gymnastics not for me but she enjoys it. I do not like double standards. She tried to justify it was OK for her to own a few fake penises but not OK for me or a man to have a fake vagina for masturbation. She wanted me to dispose of it and I promptly told her no and she needed to get rid of her dildos. She left for work and told me their was something wrong with me and slammed doors and drove off to work. Their is nothing wrong with me. There is a double standard that she is playing or is uncomfortable thinking that it is real, meaning a real person. Which in this case is not considering her fake peckers! . I am keeping my Fleshlight. What do you all think?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • This is a pretty common double standard. People do seem to accept dildos and vibrators as normal, while still seeing toys like fleshlights as creepy or sleazy. It might have something to do with the fact that women typically have a much harder time reaching sexual satisfaction, and so one might argue that a woman's sex toys are more justified from a practical standpoint. But take that as you will. Honestly, I'm not sure what to advise. You will have to talk to your girlfriend more and try to discuss a compromise that both of you feel good about. If you can't reach an agreement, then you'll have a tough decision to make.

    • Oh it is not the end of the relationship as we are still new. If she lets her emotion decide that I am a creepy. Then her dildo collection makes her the same. We will definitely talk later. I think it was immature of her the way she felt about it.

    • Perhaps. But she's not the only one who feels that way, so there must be some mental/psychological reason for the double standard. I'm not saying she's right, but cut her some slack. It's an uncomfortable and personal topic that calls for sensitivity.

    • Definitely she has all the slack she needs. I was soft about the whole situation and not rude. Why? she sees as a big deal is not so much to me. I figured let her steam over it and not poke the bear and see what happens. If she wants to leave over something like this she is more than welcome to.

  • Personally I wouldn't be comfortable with this but similarly I don't own dildos. So you're right she has double standards.
    On the other hand (and maybe unfortunately) like many things I think dildos are more widely accepted because of use in porn etc rather than something like a fleshflight which I honestly didn't even know excited until I read this post!

    • I'm glad that I can educate you today.

  • She's being totally unreasonable!! You had every right to tell her to get rid of her toys if you can't have yours. Not sure what her problem is!!

Most Helpful Guys

  • Being in a relationship with someone doesn't imply that you can snoop through their house unless you live together in which case it's all shared space.

    That aside, you are right that you having a sex toy is no worse than her having sex toys. Male sex toys are always made out to be seedy, sometimes justifiably, but a sex toy is a sex toy. She can't claim the moral high ground.

    • Right. It is a double standard. she has recently started staying the night. Not staying for good and has her own place.

  • I have read the other comments, and of course she is out of line and total double standard. I wonder if maybe she thinks the fleshlight is "Too realistic" and she is intimidated by it and insecure with it since it looks and feels like another competing vagina?

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Total double standard. You're totally justified.

  • Her behaviour is weird. Pretty unreasonable to believe that you should get rid of your fleshlight when she herself has dildos.

  • i think she is holding up a double standard and is being hypocritical.

    i think you should stick to your guns. you are right. there is simply no difference between a fleshlight or a dildo. they are masturbatory aids

  • It is a double standard by I don't think you should have retorted for her to get rid of her dildos. You should have further explained how you are ok with her toys and you'd like her to be with yours.

    • I did explain. However she was emotional about it to the point of annoyance in a demanding stance. At that time she was steamed and I let her storm off to think. I am not going to chase it down. Not being cold to it. I think it was immature.

    • But to tell her to get rid of her toys adds validity to her stance.

    • The way I see it. It a form of control. I don't need a mother figure and it felt like that. I can make healthy decessions and it was made before she came into the picture. I pointed out her dildo's because it is a double standard that I quickly realized. It add validity to why she has a double standard, sure. I thought she was being absurd in the moment so I bullied her dildo.

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  • Double standard. Maybe you should each bring your toys & play together. Might change her mind. She shouldn't have been snooping though

    • She needs time to simmer. I would definitely be up for it.

  • It is kind of cool actually that she is jealous of a Fleshlight. It is irrational of course for her to have dildos and be upset that you have the equivalent. But is she upset because she wants more sex with you? If so, she may have a point. From my perspective though I would ditch (or at least pretend to toss) the Fleshlight rather than give up any real vagina.

  • If she doesn't understand that a Fleshlight isn't a real person then you have bigger problems than the Fleshlight.

  • This is what they refer to as a "shit test".

    Do not budge one inch.

    • Definitely not. I am confident in this.

  • Just tell her that its for when she's not there, and that you think of her when you use it, and also say you're comfortable with her dildos and don't feel threatened by them, and she should feel the same.

  • Dildos and sex toys for girls are far more common. Only random dude have a flashlight. She doesn't want to date a random dude. Double standard, but it what it is...

    • So her dildo makes her random girl? That is interesting if I am random.

  • She is being unreasonable and your more than justified

  • It goes both ways like you say. I don't see why she was so upset.

  • I agree with you... I beleive in equality and fairness in relationships. ..

  • Fuck i thought you meant "flashlight as a dildo?"lmfaoooooo

    • HAHA funny

  • Clearly a double-standard. Interesting her reaction; clearly doesn't want the competition. Bitches are always jealous of something... IF they can't have your undivided attention it's the end of the fuckin world! Dump her insecure ass already; teach her a lesson about double-standards.

  • She's a hypocrite. Break up.

  • Wow she is really insecure. She proved it twice. Once by going through your stuff and second time by telling you to get rid of your toys.

  • Yeah she needs to accept men can have sex toys

  • its completely unfair for her to own dildos and expect you 8to get rid of your fleshlight!

  • This is a common bias and it is even reflected in society. Men buying male sex toys are seen as creeps while I can go to Walmart and buy a vibrator next to the lube.
    Stand your ground. You are not doing anything wrong and she is being very hypocritical.

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