Flings vs Relationship / Sex vs Love

[candygirl_9847]

I don't know if you've watched "Too hot to handle in Netflix".

At first I thought, this is fun. Hot strangers hanging around but are prohibited to have sex, or even kiss. Well, unless they have formed a deep connection with someone.

It was meant to teach them that a relationship is better than countless flings.

I've had a lot of questions here at GAG these past few days about when to start a sexual relationship with a new person, how to know if a guy is only after sex.

I just broke up with my ex. I'm asking myself if I should go ahead and sleep around to get over him.

But you know what, I realized one thing. We were together because we slept together in our first date. We met on a dating app. I did it to forget about my ex, and now I have to forget about him. And it will only be an endless cycle.

So I'll make sure that the next time I pick someone, it would be someone I would never have to forget. My next relationship would be my last.

It was a mistake that we allowed ourselves to be attached physically without developing that emotional connection first. Because after a few Months of getting to know him, it turns out we're not emotionally compatible. We did our best but we still cannot make each other happy. And now that sex has made us attached, we just ended up breaking each other's hearts. If I knew in the beginning that I cannot sustain this person emotionally, vice versa, I should have saved myself from this heartbreak. Sex does really makes us blind to see the bad parts. Sex cannot fix a relationship.

So now I've answered my question: how many dates until you start having sex?

My answer?

Simple.

When you can say from the bottom of your heart that you really love the person and that you are willing to do everything and put up with everything just to make them happy.

That's the foolproof recipe to a long lasting relationship.

Because however we deny it, by the end of the day, no one wants to be alone. So we really have to work on a relationship. To find the one in whom we would be happy to spend the rest of our lives with.

[mattmanyah2]

I think their should be a name for dating for sex and a name for dating for marriage they should be different because how you act what your goals are day to day life are so opposite. I don't think it's wise to sleep with a lot of people but after my first long term relationship I knew the want of any body some body please love me and if that is you (person reading this not just the asked) please don't date you will do things you would only do for people that cared about you work on yourself I promise you won't regret it. Decide what the man or woman you want to spend your life with would act like what's their character write that down. Then don't date people that don't match up learn who they are and I promise your love life (the whole relationship) will be better because you will seek out people that want to be with you not your body and they will build you up it is amazing.

[FlirtWithMeeee]

I totally agree with most of this. I have learned time and time again, sex/physical stuff is a drug and starting off with that or basing a relationship on it, well, the relationship will never last. I totally agree with you about your brief definition of love or when to start having sex... except that love has to be mutual, otherwise you're setting yourself up for even greater pain (Years later I'm still climbing back from that one). One other thing is important to mention here. You can't make someone happy. Though I agree when you love someone you would do anything to make them happy, ultimately true happiness comes from within.

[candygirl_9847]

I totally agree.. i would have to tweak this one to add that love has to be mutual before you have sex. and then it's also true.. we need to find someone that makes us happy. I mean, yes, you can't make someone happy. But if they find happiness in their hearts because of you, then you can say that it would work. Of course it's bad to depend on someone for our own happiness but we're really sacrificing our emotional welfare when being with someone. So I guess if that persons cares not to hurt you emotionally.. i guess you can say that they really love you.

[FlirtWithMeeee]

Hmm... well...

[FlirtWithMeeee]

I sent you a PM. Did you get it?

[virtue2332]

We are Sexual beings and the reason we all got here. Speaking of how we got here as much as we all like to believe that we are here because of love we know that we can be here even if love is not a factor. We are here for one goal to multiply and further our species. FACTS ARE SEX CAN FEEL INCREDIBLE! You should never feel bad for having sex as long as it is consensual. You should also not be in a relationship only because you had sex. There is no time frame or right answer as when you should have sex. It should be when you are both comfortable enough to while understanding the risks involved. Pregnancy disease. When you are in love and in the right relationship sex can be even better because the person you care about and cares about you will be willing to learn what you like and pleasing you will be what is most important to him.

[Thatsamazing]

Lol.