Sexual Relationships
+1 y

For guys in your 20s who are virgins and unhappy about it


I keep seeing so many posts about guys in their 20s who are inexperienced and unhappy about it. Now, I get what you're saying. You feel like you're missing out on something that you're "supposed" to have already done by your age. You're also clearly worried about so many things, including the possibility that women will not want to sleep with you and/or be in a relationship with you because you are a virgin.

Well I'm writing this to tell you to STOP WORRYING.

For guys in your 20s who are virgins and unhappy about it...

I know it's easier said than done, but guess what? There are plenty of women who actually find your lack of experience to be a HUGE turn on! I know I (and a few friends of mine) would be so excited if I met a guy I was into and found out he was a virgin. Yes, some women do want men who are experienced so they "know what to do" in the bedroom. But honestly, most of those experienced guys are too overconfident in bed and actually don't know what they're doing at all. Look at it from the female's perspective: What sounds better, being with a guy whose only concern is himself/a guy who thinks he knows what he's doing because so many girls have faked it with him before, or being with a guy who tells you he's a virgin so you can show him exactly what you want, and he's willing to learn how to please you? Seems like an easy choice to me.

Not only is it fun to play teacher and to get a guy who does exactly what you like in bed, but its also a huge turn on to know that you're the first girl to ever touch him and make him feel all the amazing things (physical and emotional) that come with sex. Knowing that no one else has ever done that with him... I can't speak for anyone else, but I know that I would kill for that. Unfortunately, men in their 20s tend to keep their virginity a secret... so women who feel the same way I do will never get to experience that.

My point is, there is absolutely nothing wrong with not having much (or any) experience in your 20s. There are enough things in life that we all have to worry about, so please don't make virginity one of them. It will happen soon enough.

<3

2 3

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

9 33
Show Popular Opinions(20)

  • Good take. It's certainly something I stressed about in my late teens and early 20s. To guys, sex is like acceptance or validation, much in the same way that relationships are to girls. So guys who aren't getting laid, particularly insecure guys, tend to view this as being rejected by the female population. That's essentially where all this anxiety around virginity comes from - we all just want to be desired by the opposite gender.

  • Am I the only one, who finds it funny to be a virgin? I have no issues with that. In fact I said yesterday: "I wish I could keep my virginity after losing it." LMAO!!! I got some haters on my back ;) XD :D

  • Yeeee, you say this now but when you actually meet a guy like this with your friends around, your reaction will be "Haha loser, what makes you think i'd even look at you".

    • absolutely not true. not everyone is a judgmental douche

    • i should also add, when i was 19 i found out a friend of mine (who was 21 at the time) was a virgin. we became good friends and ended up sleeping with each other. not going to get into too many details but neither of us wanted to be in a relationships and we were living in different states at the time so we just did it for fun a few times. so he was a 21 year old virgin, i had sex with him (a few times,) it was fun, AND all of our friends knew about it... i didn't try to keep it a secret because i didn't think of him as a loser and neither did any of our friends. he was just introverted and busy with school all the time so he didn't have time to date.

  • Hmmmm... Great points! I never really considered that before.

    • im happy to have had the chance to help you see it from another point of view :) if this is something youve been dealing with, please know i meant every word of it.

  • Nice take.
    I am virgin and if I found a virgin girl I will be so happy😊

  • I ain't twenty yet but i think that guys will become insecure or worried about this because of self-esteem/mocking of others and how they see sex. Those guy see it as an act of being normal. Most girls break their V-card in the range of 14-18. And the guys also break their V-card in that range and they also know that it's harder to get a girl/get laid if they're virgin.

    That's why and some crave love but in the wrong way.

  • i dont think about it much till it comes up into convo or i get asked then its hella embaressing cuz ur seen as weird or crazy.

    • try not to get embarrassed because really, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. it doesn't make you weird or crazy, so own it. and if anyone tries to tell you there's something wrong with it, show them this thread and tell them to contact me on here so i can personally explain in detail why they are wrong to see things the way they do. i have a talent for making ignorant people feel stupid haha

    • if im quick on my feet.. i just lie and say I've been single for a while..

    • but thanks will do

  • Sex is about the love of the activity. Guys make the mistake of caring more about what a badass they look to their friends than just enjoying it. They should be unhappy about it, but not because there's shame attached to it, but because they'll never sleep with a teenager ever in life hahaha

    • hahaha i started reading that and thought you were going to have a good point that may help people, and then you ended it like that. lol oh well. but i do have to admit that it made me laugh

    • heh i know. and if you did try to stay on my bandwagon it ended up biting you in the ass with the vaguely pedo comment attached in the end.

  • Girls who like virgin guys are rarer than virgin girls nowadays. You can't find them even if you search with binoculars.
    Im not a virgin but I was always a loser with girls mainly because of that reason. There was no reason to hide my virginity because everyone knew where I lived. No one ever saw me with a girl and whenever I made the slightest try to approach a girl, she wouldn't wait to see if she can be interested. I ended up being that ''strange guy''. And that was bad for my self confidence. Although my first girlfriend was really a bitch I consider myself lucky that I could at least have her to get some experience and boost my self confidence. Since then I have more success with women, but never something serious that lasts.

  • A bit PC... people place too much on virginity.

  • OP Good take and I would almost with everything you say but not this:

    "Unfortunately, men in their 20s tend to keep their virginity a secret... so women who feel the same way I do will never get to experience that."

    I'm a virgin too and if some conversation about sex comes in a group and they tend to ask me a question if I ever done it, I'm usually say the truth and don't give a single fuck about what others think. It's my wang and business what do I do with it. It's easy as that really (: I'm either proud of it than ashamed as most teens in UK lose it in age between 16 - 18.

    #Peaceout

    • haha good! that was exactly my point, you have the right attitude :)

    • Everyone was a virgin at some point after all. Also virginity doesn't change personality haha xD

  • Stop worrying? I don't think so, there are some guys in their late thirties and still virgins...

  • i'm not a virgin, but i'm quite sure the main problem male virgins have with never having had sex, is actually never having had sex, not want women will think of them when they find out they've never had sex.

    • you may be right, but i was really just responding to the guys on here who post things about how theyre afraid that women wouldn't be ok with it. and either way, im also saying that it will happen so they should try to not let their virginity be too much of an issue for them

  • I'm inexperienced. So's my boyfriend, who's almost a year older. I'm a lot more comfortable knowing that there aren't any expectations, and it's nice knowing that I'm not being compared to someone.

  • But the virginity card can only be played once. Once I can't say that anymore then I'm just inexperienced but not a virgin: just another person who missed out on many sexual experiences at a younger age.

    I'll never get to have sex as a teenager. I may still be able to have sex with a teenager although the chance gets progressively less simply because of age, but I'll never share a sexual experience with a teenager as a teenager. i. e my equal/the same age as me. I feel that having at least some experience with relationships and sex is important for brain development throughout the later formative years (16-24).

    Is it the same as starting these things in your mid twenties after the brain has largely finished developing? Wouldn't those portions of the brain be, in essence, atrophied? It can't be optimally healthy to leave one's formative years without experiencing all kinds of positive stimulus, can it

    It's like my brain has matured but not in the right way and now I can't go back.
    It feels like I got older but never grew up and now I'm too old to grow up.

    Still, your Take has a nice sentiment.

    • nothing is wrong with waiting and the proof is in the large amount of people who wait until theyre older to have sex who turn out just fine. in my opinion, getting to know more about your sexuality and experiencing these things at a later age means you will handle it in a more mature way. not only will your maturity lead to better and safer decisions than teenagers would make, but you will also get to appreciate what is happening much more since you are an adult with a greater understanding of sex and relationships than any young teenager could possibly have

  • Great mytake. Now teach me. Lmao

    • haha... if you mean physically teach you im going to have to politely decline that offer (for a few reasons, the biggest one being that i dont know you lol) but im happy to answer questions you may not want to ask anyone you know or give pointers via pm on here lol

    • Oh. Sorry I wasn't serious about the offer. I think I can figure it out myself when the time comes xD.

    • lol i figured you were joking but you never know with people online haha so i figured i would make it clear that my intent for this post was not to sleep with guys who respond on here hahaha

    • Show All

  • Thank you for this very hearwarming post. I'm a virgin in my mid-20s and it was mostly by my own life choices. I'm not sad about my virginity or anything but it's nice to know girls out there still think about guys like me so in that sense I'm really thankful for this post. I think it's hot when a girl has more experience than me so I can be like that innocent guy that she experiments with lol. But in the long run I don't think your virginity matters, what matters is embracing a healthy life of both love and sex and everyone enters it at a different time I guess.

    • glad to hear you liked my post :) thank you (and all the other guys on here) for responding. it probably helps guys who aren't as ok with their low experience level as you are to see that in this sex-obsessed world, theyre really not as far behind as it may seem. plenty of people dont have sex until theyre a little older. and honestly, its probably better to be more mature and ready when you lose it than it would be losing it when you're too young.

    • I wanna get my MyTake promoted how do I do that.

    • I don't know they just messaged me saying "we love your mytake and were promoting it!" then a lot of people responded so its going to be featured

    • Show All

  • Thanks for this! I tend to worry about this at 20. I am not really insecure about being or admitting I am a virgin I just have tended to believe they want someone more experienced. I am waiting for someone special to give it to though <3 hopefully sooner rather than later

    • and this ladies and gentlemen is the best attitude to have. waiting for the right person is obviously the best way to go, and on top of that now you know that plenty of girls actually rather you be less experienced. its ok to be nervous for your first time, everyone is. and if you need any pointers on how to be better in bed once you do meet the right girl you can always ask a question on here or just pm me and ill be happy to help out haha :)

    • Well thank you! Its hard because as a guy you catch a lot of flack from guy friends about it, but I don't care because that is not who I am or what I believe in. I have learned some good stuff from other posts on here and if I need any extra help when the time rolls around I will reach out 8)

  • thats a bunch of shit. "gay", "abnormal", "weirdo", "loser", "creep" is only few of the medals thata re pinned or you for being virgin at that age. and before you sits all by douchey men, think again... .

    • and before you say its all by* (the name calling). plus men base definitely their selfworth in their recognition and affection of women.

    • you can't even go to the doctor and not get "the weird look" and your confidence shattered. i got a prostate inflamation from sitting on my chair much, due to working an office job, and the doctor was like "you have to discharge your semen at least every three days, well you can do it alone for all i care (and looked me with pitty and almost disgust)". like he was telling me "i consider only normal you have a girlfriend living flesh cumdumpster to extract the cum for you on a daily basis at that age, but since you dont, do it with your hand loser". i was 24 then... .

    • im sorry that you had to deal with people who went out of their way to make you feel like there was something wrong with you for not having sex by a certain age. the social stigmas surrounding men and virginity cause ridiculous reactions from people. clearly it makes you angry and frustrated even thinking about it and i can not imagine how horrible that feels. but you should know that i truly meant every word i said. i wrote this so men in that position will know that many women feel the same way i do. i know im not fixing all their problems, but hopefully knowing that im being sincere will make them feel a little bit better even if its only for a minute. thats the best that i can do.

    • Show All

  • Thanks for the vote of confidence. i have recently been struggling with that, i work construction as well so there is this stupid "macho man" stereotype so it is a bit of a self esteem hitter. nice somebody doesn't think im a loser because of it

    • you're definitely not a loser for not having a lot of experience. trust me, im a 23 year old girl... the myself and the majority of my female friends (ages 22 to 27) all actually think that the less experience = the more the turn on lol. so stop stressing!

Home >  Sexual Relationships  > For guys in your 20s who are virgins and unhappy about it