Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I used to be painfully insecure about my boyfriend(s) watching porn when I was a younger woman. I would just have a sobbing fit if I found out they were watching it behind my back or even popped an erection if they caught the sight of a sexy woman on TV (never mind porn)!
Over the years, and after much reading and actually opening up and talking about sex with my partners, the commonality of why each of the men watched porn was not about their lack of love or attraction to me, it was something very insignificant and impulsive at the time, not really much different than the urge for me to go cut a piece of chocolate cake and stuff it in my face while standing over the sink hoping not to be noticed.
Men watching porn has had them hiding out and not talking about it with us because we as women have created this false belief that they want them instead of us. We see a tight-body wearing Fredericks of Hollywood who have prettier genitals than we might have, and suddenly we don’t feel so great.
*Newsflash* Men do not love these women. They know these women are playing dress-up for a video and it’s meant to entice the visual stimulation men can respond to, in order to get a quick erection and release. It’s the actual act of sex they see that they are becoming aroused by, not the women they see as people. It’s an image, nothing more. They love the women they have relationships with, and guaranteed if given a choice, they will likely prefer real sex with you than a moment’s notice masturbation session.
This is mainly for women to understand, but I invite comments from both men and women to give their thoughts. But here is my guide for women on why you/they/we shouldn’t feel threatened by porn.
Auntie Ozanne’s Guide to Being at Peace with Porn
1. He doesn’t care what she looks like, she’s just an image that entices him for a moment, just like a red '67 Mustang Coupe that zips by on the street. When the guy fishes for porn, naturally he’ll look for something that visually stimulates him. If it’s a dark-haired girl he prefers over a blonde, fine. But what if you’re blonde?! Don’t worry. The actual look of the girl as a package is just like a kid looking for a Lego set. The colours will fit as he puts something together that’s pleasing to the eye only at that moment.
2. You are his type. You are the woman he loves, talks to, brags about, takes home to his parents, and maybe wants a future with. Not the girl in porn. That girl is likely not even a fantasy. She was a thing, for a moment that got him off. Men can even get off to Hentai, and that's just animation, so it further proves that men just want to watch sex, not wish they had the girl on screen. When you can eliminate the personification of what she is, you can understand that his porn-watching is more of a habit, but you are his actual life. She is a thing, but you are you: her -- a person.
3. He’s bored and you’re not there. You might even be on your period, or you’re just having a troll day and not in the mood. Men masturbate, and studies show that it’s more often than we care to know. It’s one thing for a man to lay in bed and just masturbate lost in thought, that could take a longer time, and he’d be mortified if you came home and found him that way. Instead, in a matter of minutes, porn can just get it over with. Us ladies are the ones who can masturbate to nothing and orgasm through fantasy. It’s a bit more difficult for men. Most men need to actually see something to make it happen and have it happen quickly. Masturbation is healthy and natural, and we as humans are not expected to just reserve our urge for sex with our partners. Masturbating is completely normal to do on our own even in a good relationship.
4. Men want to talk about sex, but only if the women they are with are cool about it. I have found many men are deeply private about admitting they watch porn and have climaxed to it. They don't even like analyzing the sex they have with us. But if the approach from us women is non-accusatory, talking about sex, masturbation, and porn -- it helped me understand that I am not failing as a girlfriend if he chooses to watch porn sometimes. Being open, having a laugh, and getting to the core issue of why a guy likes porn ends up reassuring both the guy and girl in the relationship that their intimacy is unmatched compared to whatever urge he had while watching porn. Just the fact he can talk about it, and know you won’t get upset brings him closer to you, and in some ways, makes his porn watching habit come to light for him about how it’s not as necessary as a go-to than sex with his own woman.
5. Men will almost always go nuts if you explore porn together. If you can’t lick’em join ‘em. If you are open to it, see what the fuss is, and watch where the attention actually turns to if you watch porn with your guy. If you are first-timers and put porn on together, the shyness will disappear fast if you find something agreeable to watch. If you become aroused by it, show him, you may just find he will be staring at you and not the porn. This is where I say the act of sex gets to him, more than who the girl is. But if 3D sex is to be enjoyed, he will inevitably prefer watching you please yourself to porn.
Porn, taken in light doses and meant to enhance pleasure in a relationship as a way to find simple relief is not a threat. It can be enjoyed by couples or during one’s alone time within a relationship.
When Porn is a Problem
If you are both not having sex anymore whatsoever because of porn addiction, it means it has become habit-forming and the intimacy between you is gone. Sex and masturbating is learned behaviour, and just like a teenager who quietly masturbates in their room afraid to be heard, their habits are hard to transfer out of when finding real intimacy with a girl. These things are learned from the beginning, and new habits of having sex and/or masturbating can take over. If masturbating to porn becomes a replacement, couples counselling might be able to give the couple tips on how to rejuvenate their intimacy together.
If porn is questionable. If your partner is viewing illegal porn, you need to have a conversation about this and get to the core of why this is appealing to them. This definitely requires communication together and likely with a therapist to understand the underlying problem of why taboo or illegal porn is preferred. It no longer that particular porn that is the only problem, but the reason behind why your partner is watching the type of porn that they are.
If porn is interactive. If your partner is spending real money on real women to perform a sex act live for him, or involves some chat, this can be considered cheating to many. Now we have a real woman included who was not supposed to even know your partner’s name, and now she does. When the porn affects your finances and becomes more than just viewing the act of a nameless, faceless woman but rather becomes a tool to knowingly communicate sexually with a woman, this too can be crossing the line. This is not the kind of porn I refer to in the myTake. Again, identifying that this is unacceptable and visiting a therapist can get to the root of the problem of why your partner feels the need to communicate with women now instead of just viewing sex.
Should you break up?
My first reaction is no. Communication first, find out if porn really is your problem or if it's some insecurity you have with porn that can be improved if you understand how insignificant porn really is to a guy. If you compare it to my chocolate cake comparison, find something in your life that might be equivalent to his porn-watching. Something in your life that is non-threatening to your feelings for your guy that is also something you hate admitting to. Only if porn has become harmful in your relationship by the way of an addiction that interrupts your lives for the worse, should you talk to your partner and consider your options for your future happiness. It doesn't always have to be as dramatic as we think, but men also need to be sensitive to how we might take it, and talk to us to give us reassurance too.
What Girls & Guys Said
37 31Good post, also it relieves the sexual frustration of hundreds of teenage/ young adult males, so overall it's a good thing
Benefits of masturbation, found here: www.plannedparenthood.org/.../masturbation
•create a sense of well-being
•enhance sex with partners, physically and emotionally
•help people learn how they like to be touched and stimulated sexually
•increase the ability to have orgasms
•improve relationship and sexual satisfaction
•improve sleep
•increase self-esteem and improve body image
•provide sexual pleasure for people without partners, including the elderly
•provide sexual pleasure for people who choose to abstain from sexual activities with another person
•provide treatment for sexual dysfunction
•reduce stress
•release sexual tension
•relieve menstrual cramps and muscle tension
•strengthen muscle tone in the pelvic and anal areas, reducing women’s chances of involuntary urine leakage and uterine prolapse
- See more at: www.plannedparenthood.org/.../masturbation#sthash. WCLQHe5E. dpuf
Great myTake! I don't watch porn, I have no desire to watch it. Yes, I'm a virgin, yet I don't feel threatened by porn. I think it's a natural thing, all men do it. And I agree with you communication is key in a relationship.
Yet I still feel insecure when he watches😔
Confidence comes from within. Men should complement your life, not compliment it
Men at the start of their 20s mostly get off jerking at fake tits. Truth of the matter is, we don't give a rat's ass about those women. I don't even care about porn anymore, it's so cheap, fake and boring, lately there has been little no quality scene made.
So, dear ladies, ask yourself, would you and your man be together, even more so, would he really care about some skank on the liquid crystal display rather the woman he has grown with all this time.
The problem is not us, but inside your own head. Unless you open your mouth and speak your mind, we can't help you. Finito.
Yes very good too bad a small portion of women would only be reading your mytake
Thanks Frog :)
Yep sugar mommy ;)
I can see it from both perspectives but I have never cared about it and I watch porn. Too. That's probably why.
What makes you want to watch porn, as a woman?
@KidInk4 I like variety
Ladies, you don't have to settle for a guy that watches porn! If he can't respect you enough to cut out that shit, then how can he respect you in other parts of your relationship. Porn will do nothing but harm your relationship and mess with his head, trust me, I know.
Shut up.
You know because, why?-- you had girlfriends who couldn't understand why watching porn (or even masturbating at all?) was actually not what they thought it was?
Excessive porn u mean
@rthomas43 Porn addict alert @Take Owner Porn is scientifically proven to be harmful for your relationship, and I think any human with an average IQ can understand why. It shows an unreal version of sex that puts enormous pressure on both the male and the female with impossible beauty and performance standards. The porn "actors" are also almost always high and drunk to be able to deal with the messed up shit they have to go trough. Not to mention the very shady and disgusting business porn is, I've heard about countless young women that jumped into porn only to find that it was something other than they though. Violence, prostitution and threats are part of an average day for many porn actors and actresses. @verticallyinsecure Any porn I mean.
I agree. Not to mention, porn makes men TERRIBLE in bed.
@PrincessTashaaaa Why am I not even surprised?
This is one of the first takes I've read that isn't complete bullshit.
I'm the universal hater of MyTakes, and I concur
Thank you, gentlemen, I'm flattered. :) @TheSpartan @ThatBritishLad
No problem
well said i agree
Turn this around, If women behaved like these idiot guys did and watched porn and made there men feel insecure, they would not handle it. Women are the stronger sex so we deal with a lot of shit. We feel more pressure. At the same time we have a lot more options to choose when picking a man. Don't try change someone, just choose a guy you can respect.
I didn't really have a problem with porn (or pornographic images, I suppose) until it completely eradicated my sex life with my boyfriend. I'd try and get him in the mood almost daily (because I have a particularly high sex drive) and I was always turned down. But the moment I went to work, or went to sleep, I know he'd be looking at porn. He'd always deny it, but I knew he was.
One day, he'd left in a rush for work and left his computer open with his "spank bank" folder wide open. Wasn't sure if I'd chalk it up to forgetfulness or negligence, but I did what every emotionally-wounded girl has at least thought about doing. I took a look. Amidst the thousands (yes, thousands) of pornographic images from 4chan or other various sites, were hundreds of sexy pictures of GIRLS WE KNOW IN PERSON taken right off of Facebook, recent pictures of his ex girlfriends (pictures taken at least two years after we started dating), and recent naked pictures (graphic genitalia included) of one of his female friends.
I don't blame the porn industry for this happening, but I think the facilitation of the act (aka, turning to the internet to fill a need that can easily be filled by your willing girlfriend) is what sometimes drives men to become slaves to their impulses and seek sexual stimulation from pictures or videos and completely turn a blind eye to a sexual being that's right in front of them.
My boyfriend only likes one kind of porn. Asian anal gangbang. Its fine but he has always wanted to date and asain woman and wants nothing more than to be rubbed down (full body massage) by an asain woman andhas given me the impression that he may be somewhat obsessed. When we lay together he sometimes pulls on my eyes to make me look asain. Is he just doing this to make me feel jealous or should i be concerned since for a while, he was actually looking for an asain a few months back. I can tell you, he would not pass up a happy ending
My boyfriend found pornin my internet history and made me watch documentaries with him about how badly porn stars are treated and how fucked up the industry is. He used to watch porn too but it's just too horrific it needs to be changed and regulated to be safe just like any other job.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAPDjRA3z3Uboth men and women suffer abuse on porn sets but it is most often women, They don't even treat them like human beings.
Wow, very interesting clip! Thank you for sharing. Will look in to this documentary, it looks like there is a lot that people should know.
Yeah most people don't know how dark the industry really is. BUT if you do your research you can find ethical porn like Kink. com, you will see in many videos they have condoms, an interview with the porn stars afterwards and they have a reputation for taking every precaution when it comes to safety. The reality is that most porn companies are brutally abusive and have no regard for their employees, it's all about money.
wow. this is interesting.
Women porn stars probably make more than what women do at normal jobs. #equalpay
it doesn't mean anyone deserves to be treated like that, why are you so quick to defend human suffering and corporate greed?
A lot of men would rather have sex with some pornstars, than with their girlfriend, but yes, no guy is in love with the women on screen.
Then why have the girlfriend if they don't find her as attractive as other women? I'm asking because you chose to use the word "rather".
-because they can't sleep with those women in most cases, and if they can, sleeping with another women can ruin their relationship with their girlfriend, and their relationship with their girlfriend is worth more than a one night stand with a girl they are more sexually attracted to. Men aren't weirdly demisexual like most women, you are delusional if you think your boyfriend finds you the most attractive women on earth, of course there are normally other girls he would rather sleep with.
I know I'm not the most attractive woman on earth, but to him, I'm up there. There is no placement of who is "the most" for everyone. Obviously sleeping with another woman while *with* your girlfriend is going to be a problem, but why not find the most attractive woman you think you can be with. Sounds like settling to me.
Most people settle. "I know I'm not the most attractive woman on earth, but to him, I'm up there"you keep telling yourself that, there are most likely millions of women in the world he would rather sleep with than you, but as i said, he loves you, and would rather be n a relationship with you. A woman isn't anymore attractive to a man (in a purely sexual sense) from the moment they meet, until they are married (unless she changes her looks). Sex and love are almost always different things to men.
Well, then this pretty much applies to every human on earth. If I include myself in this, then I will be able to find millions of men too I *would rather* have sex with, but wouldn't. Men and women aren't so unalike when it comes to this then.
Yeah, i am sure there are men you would rather sleep with than your husband/BF, but this is far more apparent in men, men are reproductively functional every day (men can impregnate a few women a day) while women can only reproduce once in 9 months, so men will want to sleep with a wider array of women, while pregnancy etc. will have female desire to other men less prominent.
That's biology, and we've evolved to learn how to control ourselves and not actually act on them anymore. If this were true, women would be on the hunt constantly for a better "provider". But you don't see this much. Men aren't out constantly hunting down sex with many women per day, and women aren't out looking for the next bigger/stronger male to nest with. Our attraction is assumed that the one we're with now IS the main relationship we value because love is involved, and much else would be considered just subconscious attraction.
"That's biology, and we've evolved to learn how to control ourselves and not actually act on them anymore. If this were true, women would be on the hunt constantly for a better "provider". But you don't see this much. Men aren't out constantly hunting down sex with many women per day, and women aren't out looking for the next bigger/stronger male to nest with." We are far from evolved from it, FAR. Both the man and the women want to (women are naturally hypergamous, while men naturally want to spread their seed, even in the contemporary), they either can't, or the effort is too much. Male promiscuity is hard (women can get sex far more easily because of the those reproductive dynamics), and while sex is far easier to get for women, they will have a hard time getting an alpha male for a monogamous relationship if they aren't high value themselves.
Want is different that going out and acting on it. If we were still monkeys we'd fucking around everywhere.
The problem is modern women don't really understand how the male brain and biology works. Perhaps they just won't understand. people still fail to realise that we have actually NOT evolved, not even 1% when it comes to psychological factors. We are actually still the same as we were when we were apes. The basic core is still the same especially when it comes to men! We are hardwired to be in relationships with as many women as possible as far as it is legitimate and non-damaging to other partners. Women on the other hand are so conditioned now a days that for them having one night stands with a group of hunks is still legitimate but men can't do the same thing. In fact a recent search actually showed that women are equally liable to having relationships with attractive men so far as it is biologically non-threatening. Meaning that if a young lady was to be presented with a group of really attractive men, she will be in relationship with all of them so far as it did not damage health.
Yeah, this is why I choose to stay single. Sometimes I go on dates with guys, and sometimes I even develop feelings! But I always tell them it's nothing serious because fuck putting myself in that position anymore. Why intentionally get involved in a relationship with a man, when you know it's only going to make you feel like shit? I've had men quit porn for me, I've had men tell me they feel so lucky to have my time and that I am beautiful, but it all goes out the window when a big set of titts walks past. I just gave up. I'm too good to be treated like that, all of us ladies are. But for some reason, we think we need a relationship...
What about when women watch porn? Women don't get off to visuals right? They get off to thought and feelings. They have to have an emotional connection right? Well when women get off to porn, us guys don't have the comfort of knowing its "just an image to them" because its not. It has to be more right?
Totally different myTake. The hue and cry on GaG is mostly women who don't understand porn. If you'd like a myTake written on the women's perspective of why we like erotica, I'd have to consider writing one, but I'm not sure that enough guys are in need of reading it. Can you link any topics here that are overwhelming about men feeling insecure about their women reading/watching porn? Comparable to the women who feel insecure about their men watching porn? This was written for the women because of the numbers.
Well no, i doubt I'd find anything, because most guys aren't insecure like i am. And yes, i know why women like reading porn, because it is emotional. But i know some women watch porn too, and since women don't get off to visuals, but get off to someone they have an emotional connection to, wouldn't that mean that they would actually desire the person in the porn video?
LOL Wrong, we don't *not* get off to visuals. This is such a common misconception. We can read erotica and get off because it's not visual, it's in our mind because we're allowing the words to make us feel something. But we certainly watch porn and get off on the visual. I for one have no desire or emotional connection to any guy I've ever seen in porn. What does help is the words the guys uses or how he moans. Being aroused by audible sex can sometimes be much more appealing than what the guy even looks like at all. I've actually gone as far to Google: "awesome moaning from guy" and end up with a skinny wimpy hairy guy that typically women would tell you isn't hot, but his moaning would have got me off. I would have had no "emotional" tie to him. Don't even think I'd care to find him again on Google or even remember. Our emotional connection is usually with a partner who stimulates that lovey-feeling within us. If our boyfriends emotionally ignore us but still give us sex...
... we feel something is missing in our life – that something isn’t going to be found in porn.
LOL hard to imagine a more awkward relationship than a couple that watches porn together instead of having sex!
Be aware that while the girl (s) in a porn movie doesn’t matter, the content does. If 90% of his search history consists of bondage, he's likely a closet bdsm entusiast.
What about if just vanilla sex doesn't do it for him? When I watch porn, I watch pretty much anything (legal) just because after a while, the vanilla stuff is just stuff I would normally do anyway. I've seen some public-humiliation stuff that worked for me, but I would never in a thousands years ever try it myself, nor would want to witness it. Same thing with just lesbian porn. I don't have any desire to actually try anything with a woman. I just see stuff like that and think, "oh wow... different..." and then get aroused. I'm sure I'm not the only one that does this. Sure there could be guys searching BDSM and maybe want to try it, but it could be that it also gets him off? My husband watched/watches that on occasion, but when I bring it up to try, he gets spooked.
Straight women watching lesbians don't count as unlike vanilla it's explicitly focused on women's pleasure surely you like seeing a woman getting satisfied instead of just moaning in an awkward position. I also want to point the theory that fantasy is often enough. Rape is a popular fantasy too but most sane people only want a partner to be decisive or if kinky pretend to rape.
Are people who jerk off to child porn not pedophiles (which is by definition sexual attraction to women)? if you jerk off to two women having sex, you aren't straight, it is an indiscriminate nature towards arousal that makes your sexuality fluid, and fluid sexuality can't be possessed by someone who is 100% heterosexual. Women being aroused to what is being done to he women still means they are bisexual, it's literally the same patterns of arousal straight men have. @Asker
I'm pretty sure if I know whether or not I'm straight. And so far, after 40 years of being boy-crazy, and 25 years of sex-having, with no sexual intimacy nor desire to be with a woman, I think it's safe to say I'm straight. So, incorrect - watching the act of sex between adults to me and many women, gay or straight doesn't mean you are "secretly" gay. @amphet11 That is illegal porn and I covered that in my original Take. There are reasons why things are illegal when it comes to the porn industry. Harming children is not okay, and advocating it by watching it means a child had to be harmed in order to watch it. The logic that watching it doesn't make you one, just as watching lesbian porn doesn't make you a lesbian is nonsense. I can be aroused by a sex act between two consenting adults and that isn't illegal, nor does it define my sexuality. If you watch children, you are inherently watching something inappropriate not just illegal. Call it what you want.
I said child porn, because anybody who masturbates to child porn is seen to be sexually attracted to kids, but you masturbate to women and you think you are straight? Anthropologists say women don't have a sexual orientation, it's just an amorphous mess. Female sexuality is mainly situational and based of non gender specific traits, as in female attraction to men is normally based off things that aren't expressly innate to men. A women may go her whole life never being sexually attracted to a women, but in the right circumstances she can be, but with men this opportunity never existed in the first place. Men have hard wired orientation and can only be aroused by women, while women can be aroused by almost anything. Look up female sexual fluidity, it's well documented and accepted that women aren't actually straight. @Asker
@amphett11 "I said child porn, because anybody who masturbates to child porn is seen to be sexually attracted to kids, but you masturbate to women and you think you are straight?" (I already covered this, so we're going to have to disagree with this and I think all parents of small children will thank me for it.) "Anthropologists say women don't have a sexual orientation"..."Look up female sexual fluidity"... (If you think so. I still know I'm straight, thanks. And I was inclined to write a Take based on "my take" so if you're going to make claims like what anthropologists say then you can provide links from credible sources, I shouldn't have to go searching for things just because someone says so. Obviously you know where the info is and are making a point of it, so you can kindly share your credible source.)
@amphet11
www.indiana.edu/.../...ers_Seto_Blanchard_2007.pdf , here is a credible source, and i said look up female sexual fluidity in general, as there are lots of links, and they will quantify the link above, which is mainly tests. @Asker
You'll have to wait. It's 14 pages of small font.. but here's what I already noticed in the summary: "the hypothesis that women’s sexual orientation and sexual responses in the laboratory correlate less highly than do men’s" This already tells me that this doesn't mean "all" women, and their study included more homosexual women than heterosexual women in the study. Their overall percentage is going to be skewed just knowing this. Anyway, with that said, I'll read the rest of it later, but for now and so far as I've read, I was never their lab rat anyway and can clearly identify my orientation. More later, after I've read it.
OP just want to remind you that I already explained why straight women watches lesbian porn. "Straight women watching lesbians don't count as unlike vanilla it's explicitly focused on women's pleasure surely you like seeing a woman getting satisfied instead of just moaning in an awkward position."
@amphet11 First I want to thank you for the link - that research was actually a lot more interesting once I got in to it. Unfortunately my eyes feel like they're going to fall out of my head from reading a screen so long. I enjoyed what I read and took notes of my thoughts along the way. You can respond or not respond to what I have to say, but nonetheless, I thought I'd give my opinion on what they found: “…women showed very similar genital responses to films of female–female, female–male, or male–male intercourse…” This can be true. But if you define sexual orientation, am I also a gay man? “Further, they demonstrated that women’s nonspecific sexual arousal is not explained by limited variability in genital responses.” This is because they simply show genitals in this portion. If there’s no reaction, does it inherently prove we are straight or lesbian, or simply that there is no thought of orientation?
“Why do women, but not men, show a genital response to nonpreferred sexual stimuli?” This is their question, not mine, which means further research is needed and they admit it. They can conclude women look at women’s genitals and find them sexually stimulating, but nowhere here can explain if the woman wishes to engage in lesbian love/relationships. “…women’s self-reported sexual arousal ratings are more influenced by variation in sexual activity, whereas men’s ratings are more influenced by variation in actor characteristics.” I think this explains more than anything else that our need for variety is a turn-on. Could it be that we just get bored of one thing all the time? “…women demonstrate genital responses to stimuli depicting sexual activity but no plausible sexual partner..” If we can eliminate men or women from this statement, then it might explain why a woman can determine that she is straight if she says she is. This isn’t about a partner anymore, it’s about her.
“…The women produced genital responses to the mating bonobos…men showed no subjective or genital responses to the bonobo film.” Great. Now I’m in to monkeys too? :/ “…watching films depicting two men engaged in intercourse may be more taboo for heterosexual viewers than watching films depicting two women engaged in intercourse, given that lesbian sex is a common theme in mainstream, commercially available pornography.” This explains a lot. Gay couples too can watch hetero sex and find it stimulating as they also mention. (Report went on to describe how they obtained the participants and how the test was technically done with their equipment, and shows the charts of the corresponding stimuli.)
I have a question that isn’t found in this report. With the overwhelming scores of homosexual males who do not find women arousing at all (according to these charts) – how then in society were they or are they able to play the game of heterosexual-acting before coming out of the closet? Many men who are homosexual marry women and even have children living heterosexual lives until coming out. To play out this life, there must be something to be said about their attraction to a “lifestyle” that can oversee their sexual attraction – to the point where they can even have sex without sexual attraction with women. Just wondering.
“Why would women report greater sexual arousal to female targets, especially when, for heterosexual women, female targets are not of the preferred gender? One possible explanation is that women identify with the depicted female targets.” This actually might explain it all. If we can emotionally connect to the woman in the films, then it explains why we are transferring their arousal to ours. We can understand what it is like to feel a clit being stimulated. Men, who’s strong *non* attraction to men, and lesser ability to emotionally relate, may explain why they don’t do this when they see images of men having sex. “.. it cannot explain why women respond subjectively and genitally to films of two men having sexual intercourse or why women respond genitally to films of bonobos mating.” They actually said it themselves earlier. We enjoy variety.
“There is evidence that men have some voluntary control over their penile responding.” This is actually particularly interesting. So much for thinking that men can’t control themselves! LOL! It turns out that women are the ones who are easily stimulated and may not be able to control their feelings. “…there is also evidence that women have greater flexibility in sexual attitudes, sexual behaviors, and sexual preferences than do men..” So after all that, I’m learning that they came up with nothing? We know we have a larger spectrum of what can arouse us, but confirmed that it doesn’t change our sexual preference. “…homosexual women are more male-typical than are heterosexual women in this threshold, showing category-specificity…” The women in this study were not identified as bi-sexual, it was one or the other. Since hetero women were not category specific, it would be a clue that they leaned toward heterosexuality as they self-assessed.
“The reliable observation that heterosexual women’s sexual responses do not distinguish between depictions of female targets or depictions of male targets does not mean heterosexual women are bisexual in orientation.” There goes that theory. ********** Sorry to Anon for plugging up your response. But anyway, thanks again for posting the link and letting me read that. I took some things away that make me understand why even MEN are as sexually firm in their orientation too.
And... women have no sexual orientation, it is innately narcissistic. She never once said women are straight, but has said women are "ostensibly straight"(which in-case you don't know means seemingly so, but not actually, as in they aren't straight, but they seem to be straight), she also said "adds to a body of work that shows female sexuality lies somewhere between heterosexual and homosexual"(close to verbatim) Ill address most of your points tomorrow, i am lazy, but i can see most of your points can be proven wrong very easily, ill do that tomorrow.
Yes, she does say heterosexual, but it is for original classification rather than a conclusionary orientation.
Ok, i actually read your responses now, and there wasn't much just quotes.
"I think this explains more than anything else that our need for variety is a turn-on. Could it be that we just get bored of one thing all the time?" That would just support me that women would seek variety, ie, women, thus sexual fluidity, thus they aren't straight.
"If we can eliminate men or women from this statement, then it might explain why a woman can determine that she is straight if she says she is. This isn’t about a partner anymore, it’s about her." Extreme sexual narcissism is just a reason, the result of sexual fluidity is the same. Further proven by how women respond to anything while aroused, bodyodd.nbcnews.com/.../13849046-sexually-aroused-women-arent-easily-grossed-out ,
Playboy magazine also did a test where self proclaimed heterosexual women got lap-dances from male and female strippers, women were aroused by both, and in fact more so by the female stripper, men where only aroused by the female stripper in the test.
"Great. Now I’m in to monkeys too?"once again showing pure fluidity, women mainly chose men for non sexual reasons, thus don't cont towards actual orientation. "Gay couples too can watch hetero sex and find it stimulating as they also mention."hetro sex has both genders in it, thus the gender they are attracted to is still in the scene, while if women are heterosexual but get off to lesbian porn, the gender they are supposed to be sexually attracted to in order to be straight, isn't in the scene. You can't be straight if the gender you are supposed to be attracted to, isn't in the content to which you are aroused.
“…there is also evidence that women have greater flexibility in sexual attitudes, sexual behaviors, and sexual preferences than do men..” That would by very definition men they are not straight! "So after all that, I’m learning that they came up with nothing? We know we have a larger spectrum of what can arouse us, but confirmed that it doesn’t change our sexual preference."that's the whole point, don't confuse orientation and preference, most women have a preference for men, but are able to be sexually attracted to women, thus bisexual/pansexual etc..
“The reliable observation that heterosexual women’s sexual responses do not distinguish between depictions of female targets or depictions of male targets does not mean heterosexual women are bisexual in orientation.” Did you forget the sentence after that, " To conclude that women are bisexual on the basis of their sexual responding overlooks the complexity and multidimensionality of female sexuality"she is saying female sexuality is so complicated that to simply call them bisexual is an injustice, that sentence still means they aren't straight, they are still semantically bisexual though, but anthropologists have gone the route of saying they don't have a sexual orientation.
"The results of the present study add to a growing body of research on the greater flexibility of women’s sexuality with regard to sexual identity, same-sex attraction, and same-sex behavior"that conclusionary sentence from the study, by definition would mean women aren't straight. This is just the tip, i didn't say this study by itself proves all women are bisexual, it's just a good starting point, as i said just look up female sexual fluidity, it's pretty much accepted that male sexual orientation is biologically hard wired, while female sexuality is all over the place. There is a lot of anecdotal evidence too. @Asker , please excuse any mistakes, i wrote this pretty fast.
Please show me where anything says sexual attraction isn't enough to define sexual orientation, nothing you or faurk brought up said sexual attraction by itself isn't enough, lol at disagreeing with the oxford dictionary ( and every other dictionary), i mean look at the words (SEXUAL orientation)
That's enough @amphett11 I didn't read your last comments on this thread before and I'm not engaging with you again on this issue again on someone else's thread in a long-forgetten Take. Just from what little I read just now means you're blending the things I said to another user in another Take and I made it clear there that I have my opinions, they differ from yours and the other user (so did the Take Owner) and that's that. Rehashing it here just pisses me off, and I'm closing the book on it.
I agree with everything except for when the girl in porn has "prettier genitals" than me... Maybe I'm just really proud of my pussy but the girls in porn DO NOT have nicer genitals than me!
:D That's good. I think a lot of women do compare themselves to the girls in porn. I for one know I have better hair and a better face, hands down. LOL
Proof or ain't true Otherwise, it's conceited
I don't like watching porn because I'd rather do the real thing.
It's actually bad for your brain, look into it, not the actual porn the negative effects of it.
Proof or it ain't true
It is true, it's proven to have negative effects on your brain and then after man uses it could thenn mean you need that visual aspect and yeah... can you just look it up or something. this is still anonymous right?