Found out partner has being chatting to a webcam girl? Not sure what to do?

[Bex1283]

Hi so I have been with my partner 16year we have a house 2kids and I thought we was happy. Over the last year he hasn’t wanted sex as much but I figured at almost 40 and the time together maybe it’s normal. He has always watched porn which I don’t mind in the slightest we all like a look and all have fantasies.
so I find out last week when sorting something out for him that for the last 2 month he has being paying for private videos with a webcam girl she is not in this country and not really like a model or anything like that but this has really hurt me to know he getting off on her and not being interested in me anymore. I have tried to talk about me and he says he didn’t realise he was doing anything wrong and that he loves me etc. what hurts more is they have had full blown conversations he has told her stuff about him etc even told her about our kids and wrote he can’t stop thinking about her and misses her when they can’t chat she has wrote she loves him. He says I am looking to much into it. How can I trust this will stop and that he isn’t still doing it and that he even still loves me? I want to be able to get over it as love him so so much but I’m hurting so bad I sit missing him being close whilst he has obviously been up chatting to her and it seems getting to know her not normal sex talk. I just don’t know what to do I feel broken.

[PrettyPriya]

What he is doing is called emotional cheating. He has formed an emotional connection with someone outside of your relationship. This is as bad as physical cheating to me. You need to sit down and have an open, but not confrontational, discussion about this.

Tell him the way you feel and how it hurts you. Make him understand that this IS cheating and won't be tolerated.

[Bex1283]

Thankyou this is what I have done I think he realises now what he has done I just not sure how to deal with it I don’t want to lose him but how can I trust again it’s so hard.

[PrettyPriya]

@bex1283 I completely understand why you would feel betrayed and not able to trust. I think that is up to him to show you that you can trust him again. That is not your duty. He needs to prove that he is committed to YOU and not some webcam girl. How to do that? Not sure. I think perhaps showing how much he loves and respects you is a good start. Those can be little gestures. Ultimately, perhaps not using the computer for a period of time to show you he is over it would be a good way to show you he is serious. I wish you the best of luck and hope this is resolved.

[Bex1283]

Thankyou I hope it is resolved and that he has stopped and that I can trust him again every time he picks up his phone I worry I have become paranoid but early days and guess it’s going to take time.

[PrettyPriya]

@bex1283 Yep! You are 100% correct. Time is the only thing that is going to help. During that time, he needs to prove it to you. I get your worries and absolutely justified. I do hope it works out and he has learned his lesson. Best wishes to you and stay strong. ❤️

[Avicenna]

Ouch. Sounds like emotional cheating. I’d suggest couples therapy since you have a longvtoadctovhobtovrevover from this.

[Bex1283]

I will suggest this thanks just want to fix things with out me feeling so hurt and learn how to trust again I’m really hurt

[Guy13]

Have you tried Ephesians 5 as that’s the basis for marriage counseling. How about Mental Health professional

[In_Trance]

Talk to him about it

[Bex1283]

We have talked he says sorry etc didn’t mean to hurt me still loves me. But how do I know he will stop and end it

[In_Trance]

You don't and never will. You have to trust

[Anonymous]

You need to confront him.

[Bex1283]

I have done he doesn’t get how he was cheating I just need to try and deal with it I think hard as it is