Sexual Relationships
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Found out recently that my BF has maintained an active profile on Swinglifestyle. com for the past 2 years. I'm thinking he's bi?

By what he wrote in his profile (he's seeking DP or DVP), I'm guessing he's bi. I'm not judging, I'm just not into the lifestyle and am certainly not ok with his being active on this site for almost the entire time we've been together without my knowing. He joined 2 months after we started dating and has kept it a secret ever since. I found out when he admitted it to me and then I researched and found the profile. He put a great deal of effort into this profile, private pics and all. I also did some research and found a cached version of a flickr acct that he started where he listed himself on his profile as 'male and open'. Further suggesting to me that he is bi. Thoughts?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • i think that you should just chill
    most bi guys are emotionally only into girls
    maybe you can ask questions about if he tops of bottoms, he most likely bottoms,
    you could offer to go to a sex shop together and by dildos and strap-ons
    its no big deal at all
    whats wrong with him being bi? not all bi guys wanna date both genders at the same time
    maybe all he wants to do is have a threesome
    but he was scared of how you'll react
    and obviously he was right to be

    • My question was simply to understand this person that I thought I knew. We've been together for over 2 years now and I had no idea he was corresponding with other couples and meeting up with them on his business trips (he travels a lot throughout the entire southeast). if this was his desire or fantasy, then he should have brought it up instead of hiding it. Sure, I would have said its not for me but, thats my choice as his preferences are his choice. Lies and secrets just aren't part of a stable relationship.

    • oh! he wanted to dvp with other couples? and alright i get why you're upset now

  • Hate to scare u but u need to drop him a lot of gay men online are hiv+ and want to seek sex from anonymous people that don't know them. In my profession and due to my large number of gay male friends I know this 100%.

    • I'm with ya on the concern. Already had my bloodwork done, its all clear.

  • Get him to do a std test immediately and yourself too

Most Helpful Guys

  • If he said on his profile that he is open then there is a strong likelyhood that he has messed around on you.
    Faithfullness issues aside, you need to worry about your health. DVP sounds like a high risk sexual act and you could get some bad stuff if you continue to stay with him and he isn't truthfull about his encounters.

    • My thoughts exactly. Kinda scary when I think about it. Already did the bloodwork, all clear (phew). I never saw the 'open' status on his flickr profile but once he told me about the site he was on, i researched further to see what else was out there that i needed to know.

  • He could be just interested or curious... ask him. How is your sex life with him? Do you have sex often... more than one time when you do get naked? Does he give you great orgasms? If he pleases you, then perhaps it is no big deal.

    • up to this point, our sex life has been great, or so I thought. the big deal for me is that i was unaware of his activities. And, after reading what he was looking for, it made me question whether or not i really knew the man i fell in love with. clearly, not. we did talk about what he wants and clearly he's not comfortable talking about being bi or curious. he uttered some rather strong words against it in fact. so, it seems he would rather do it secretly and for me, thats a deal breaker.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • This makes me sad. So sorry. He is definitely open. The real problem is the sneaking around. Some bi people can be faithful, just means that they have a wider attraction spectrum.

  • He may be bi, for sure

  • What were you doing at that site? Sounds like you should look for a job with the NSA or FBI.

    • Never underestimate a woman's desire to find shit out... I simply went to the site that he said he was on, he came up on a search so I created a dummy profile to view his complete profile. Learned more than I expected.

    • Clever.

  • I dont think he is bi. DVP is double vaginal penetration. So maybe he wants to have a 3sum and have him and another guy have sex with you

    • I did learn what DVP was which led me to wonder if he was indeed bi. He's never mentioned wanted a 3sum with me. In fact, we talked of swinger lifestyles once after we were approached at a dance club one night. I must have mentioned that the idea wasn't my cup of tea so I guess I'll never really know if he was planning on bringing it up. He certainly wouldn't have after my comment that night. Although, now that I think about it, the guy kept pushing me to dance with him and while I politely said no thank you, my BF stood there and told me I could do what ever I wanted. I was quite offended and felt rather abandoned because I wasn't interested and guy kept pushing the issue. I guess it all makes sense now.

    • It sounds like your boyfriend wants to swing lol. He probably wants you to have sex with the guy and he hs sex with the girl. I think you should talk to him about if you are not comfortable with swinging tell him how you feel if he doesn't listen or like it then he's not right for you. I really hope this is helping

    • Actually, all comments so far have been helpful. He has denied wanting to swing when we talked about it but clearly, being on this site for 2 years secretly, soliciting other couples and all... kinda suggests something different. I think this means sadly, he's not right for me.

    • Show All

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Home >  Sexual Relationships  > Found out recently that my BF has maintained an active profile on Swinglifestyle. com for the past 2 years. I'm thinking he's bi?