Freeing The Female Orgasm

Sex. It is a human drive that exists to propagate the species. As such, it has a very huge importance to human existence. It is also natural, beautiful and wonderful. Like eating or drinking water, it is a biological urge that can be beneficial if we are responsible with our sexuality.

But, as a whole, there is so much unhealthy anti-spiritual, psychological crap tossed on top of sex that it can take joy out of it for many of us, especially women.

Sexual Double Standards

I was watching a commercial where Gene Simmons was walking across a lawn. As he strolls towards his home, various hot women hold up signs that read 200, 4379, 5006. The announcer pipes in, asking the question that I suppose, is on everybody's minds, "Just how many women has Gene slept with?"

As I watched, I briefly mused about what would happen if a woman starred in that very same commercial.

You guessed it.

There would be a firestorm of protest, and the girl would be called anything from a disgusting whore to a carrier of diseases. I often find it interesting that a man who sleeps with thousands of women is never looked at as a potential spreader of STD's--but if a woman has more than four partners, then men are whispering to their pals "Dude, you better wrap it, she's experienced."

Isn't it wholly possible that if a woman simply enjoys sex (not a crime) and is intelligent, that she could be taking due precautions just like Mr. Playah dude with 101 chicks under his belt? And if she is taking precautions and being responsible with her sexuality, why is she labeled at all?

Just what is with this fascination with men being able to have sex with tons of women anyway?





Concubine Syndrome

I think it all hearkens back to the days when men of power showcased it with the number of wives and concubines he could accrue. Although Christian marriage is currently monogamous, the bible indicates that great Israeli Kings, like David and Solomon, were said to have thousands of wives and concubines. These women were mere possessions, and if one of the "chosen" happened to be number 3,567 on the list and wasn't gotten to for years, well, tough.

Women could languish for years without the benefit of human touch, comfort or love, and if these emotionally and mentally abused attention starved beauties dared to find comfort in the arms of another, well, off with her head.

To an extent, I believe this antiquated paradigm still exists.

Society still views women as possessions to collect and a way to attain social status for a male. It doesn't matter if men have a "reputation", this only makes him the man! The thing I find most interesting is, that no matter how many ladies this dude may have in his "stable", he doesn't want them to have relations with other men.

Guys who say that they denounce such behavior quietly envy the guy, often wondering what the man's "secret" is. If given a chance, most men may indulge in the very same behavior, but don't for any number of reasons.

The Appeal of Virginity

On the other hand, a woman's virtue is all tied up in her vagina and its lack of penile insertion. It would appear that a woman who hasn't had sex is the height of capture for men. I find this funny since, once a man deflowers her, she won't be a "virgin" anymore. Also, at some point ALL women (unless they join a nunnery) are going to no longer be virgins. Mothers, daughters, sisters, preachers wives, humanitarians at some point, they have had or will have sex.

What is the big deal?

Sex is a natural progression of human evolution, why are we attributing "good" or "bad" to female sexuality?

Blame Freud

Let us now consider Freud's theory of penis envy. The theory claims that at some point in feminine sexual development, a girl realizes she doesn't have a penis and gets a little peeved about the fact. I believe this "erroneous theory" springs from ancient ideas that women were incapable of enjoying pleasurable sensations from sex.

Because women were supposedly unable to experience orgasms, the sensual escapism that could be had by boys was a thing to get jealous about. With this rationale in place, any woman who actually enjoyed sex was displaying a "masculine" trait, and was therefore, psychologically damaged.

What great minds like Freud never took into account is the differing physiological as well as psychological aspects of female sexuality. It wasn't that women couldn't enjoy sex, it just takes her a bit more to get to the finish line. If the 70 percent of women who have never had a orgasm via penetration sex is to be believed, men still don't understand the concept of taking time with their lover to get her there.

Humph, and men wonder why they have to beg for sex.

Takin' Shame Out The Game

To free human sexuality, we have to free it for women. Men are already freed in this realm. If men were able to give lend their counterparts a hand and give sexually responsible female props for her experience too, women won't feel so compelled to hide their enjoyment and men will benefit!

I emphasize sexually responsible because I think as with the eating of food, we can take our natural response too far one way. A person who eats too much food can become unhealthy and obese. A person who becomes hedonistic can potentially obtain diseases and spread them, guy or girl. They also become emotionally incapable of sustaining long term relationships over time. Believe me, I am not advocating promiscuous shenanigans of sex romp free for alls. In fact, I think sex is always better in the realm of committed relationships (one California study indicated that people who commit to long term monogamous relationships are physically healthier, and I quote "While men seem to benefit more from the calm a steady partner brings into their lives, there is evidence that both sexes enjoy quieter pain centers in the brain and increased cortisol production when in the company of a spouse"

Also, sex in a committed, LOVING relationship is best when people communicate, and feel comfortable in a GOOD way, which makes sex fun and increasingly enjoyable. My own experience in marriage has been that our sex gets more and more mind blowing and better with time.

Fellas, give the girls a break. If women could be taught the finer points of responsible sexuality, pleasuring men and finding pleasure for themselves, sex will be spiritual, adventurous and fun for all!

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  • Final comment. Unfortunately, if you haven't noticed, the media is doing a fine job of portraying women as sex objects, resulting in the decay of morals, male and female. The sad thing is, many women (and men) accept the media at face value, believing the message being portrayed, because many celebrities promote the message (many who are women!)

    I will agree with this; men need to do better, but so do women. People seem to think that dignity, self-respect, virtue, are all outdated. It's sad.

  • I think the warcry of "Sexual Freedom" is just a cop-out for loose sex. Your article echoes of more serious cracks in societal foundations, and begs many questions of humanity, religion, psychology, etc. So my opinion, while disagreeing with yours in many instances, is just that; an opinion. I think it's wrong to say "well if guys are so accepted as being sexually free, shouldn't it apply to women?" Two wrongs don't make a right. And I think it's not as black and white as you put it.

  • Well first off, as a senior in my psychology major and future Neuropsychologist, I have to make a little criticism :) Freud was a great mind, but also a very misled mind. He contributed greatly to the field of psychology, but that was back in the early 1900's. Such ideas are outdated and looked down on. So, then we might ask, has Freud's misconception of women held sway on society? It did for a short while, but it quickly faded. Psychology champions women more than most other careers on earth.

  • "To free human sexuality, we have to free it for women. Men are already freed in this realm."

    This isn't accurate at all, at least for men anyway. Male sexuality is regarded is cheap, dirty and expendable. A guy who's able and willing to really give it to a girl so to speak is worth a dime a dozen these days. A guy's "number" is just a scorecard that proves desirability; it says as much about male sexuality as "a "slutty outfit" says for women.

  • False information. Gene Simmons never slept with thousands of women.

    He just had sex with them :)

  • Well women ! we give you respect !

    that's why you shouldn't do like us !

    we look at you as godesses at some points; so you should act like a Godess !

  • For double standards are wrong, both men and women. The problem with the female orgasm is still present in society. It is true that 70% of women can experience orgasm during penetration. But if clitoris is stimulate during penetration, then most women can reach orgasm. Cunnilingus is also a good way for the female orgasm. And a good way to start a love game. Sometimes it seems to me that some women do not like you want to enjoy sex. There is the men who do not care if the lady had an orgasm.

  • A R,yeah you are right a virgin may seek greener grass on the other side.I say let her (or tell her you want to date other people for a long while to make very sure this is what you both want),and if she comes back there you go,if not then it wouldn't have worked out long term anyway.I say take your time and give the person freedom to make thier own choices and do what they really want.Not saying experienced woman can't do this or do it even better,I was just explaining some of the virgin appeal

  • Whew, a lot to talk about here.One I agree with your points, responsible women should not be labeled, men do the same thing. Two, virgins are cool because they are often more loyal and treat you better. You don't have to worry about some other guys mistakes and the baggage he has left with her. Three, part of the fascination with men who have a lot of women, is that WOMEN like it (at least as far as intial attraction). Having women after you indicates, value, mystery and possible challenge.