Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health Fwb is now pregnant but wants to keep the baby?
spartan123 Xper 5
I have had a friends with benefits for nearly four years, she's 35 and I'm 28. We only hooked up when I was single but never in a relationship. Two months ago we had sex. But now I'm back with my ex girlfriend and we really both want to make a go of things. My friends with benefits was on the pill however she is saying that she was taking antibiotics which messed up the contraception. She is now 8 weeks pregnant. I told her I appreciate her telling me that she is pregnant however I'm not in a position to be a father and we agreed the sex to be casual . She wants to keep the baby. However she's not given good reasons why she wants the baby, she is financially capable of looking after the child and has her own home but I think she's keeping the baby because she's lonely and worried about not having a child in the future. I explained to her that its more than that to keep a baby,the baby deserves a mother and father in their life. In the right circumstances at this situation is not it. I cannot be a father and if she does have a child I cannot ignore it because it will be mine. This will change both our lives in a big way. I have not had a father in my life and I do think of him now and then and it does hurt when you see others with their father, watching football, going to the pub etc general bonding which I never had. I cannot give that to a child now, I'm not ready and it will not be fair on the child not to have a father from the beginning to the end. I think she's keeping the baby for wrong reasons. It will be unfair on both of us and especially on the child. What can I do to let her see the light and be realistic about the decision. Basically we were just having fun and now she wants to keep the child. I feel like she's trapped me.
2 0
What Girls & Guys Said
26 8This is why you should have never been sleazy and engaged in a stupid FWB situation.
FWB is one of the dumbest ideas in today's world and it's also one of the reasons why this generation gets such a bad rep; for creating and promiting dumb sh*t like meanless f***ing for the sake of getting an orgasm.
If I was your girlfriend, I'd leave you. This is what you get. Everyone who's stupid enough to participate in FWB should read this and snap out of it.
Uh, that's what happens with casual sex, there's always a chance to have a baby. You are old enough to know better.
If she wants it she can have it but remember you will have some responsibility in it. She could take you to court if she wanted to.
So is it that you really don't want her to have it or are you nervous that your girlfriend will find out?
Buy the ticket, ride the ride broski. Birth control; isn't 100% effective due to things like illness.
sorry to say, but if you are ready enough to have sex then on some subliminal level you are indicating readiness to have a baby. Because you are not ready for a baby is very selfish. Just think about what you are asking her to consider! Some women do not believe in terminating a pregnancy, some women do have the emotional stability to it either. There is no "right" or "wrong" decision in this situation. And you say "he deserves a mother and a father" which indicates that if she truly does keep it then you won't step up and be a father, that's not on her that all on you. You are 28 years old, that is plenty old enough to be able to pull up your boo straps and be a man about the the life you have created with this woman. I only feel sorry for her that you are being so insanely selfish as to only have YOUR best interest at heart. Did you ever think that she must be feeling the same way for having a baby with someone she is never going to be with (in a relationships). Get some counseling and read up on being a daddy. One day you will regret ever saying that she should get rid of the baby because you will love it so much. Wish you all the best of luck!
Well daddy, should have wore a condom.
Hahahaaa
Hey, dude I don't think you thought about this, but this might be her last chances to have a child. If she were to abort the child that could cause a lot of complications on her body due to age. You probably thought about this, but just in case I'm telling you. A single mother is perfectly capable of caring for a child. She shouldn't get rid of it just, because you don't want it. That child wants to be born. Would you have wanted your mother to have gotten rid of you just because a father was missing? Just beacuse you won't be there doesn't mean that another man won't step up in your place. Please, don't make her feel like she has to get rid of her child. It's a pain worse than birth and a scar that does not heal with time.
- A child born without a father.
Well said
When you have sexual relations with someone, pregnancy is a risk you take. While I understand your frustration I think you're being selfish. Does this have anything to do with being back with your GF? Maybe she wouldn't like it if she knew another woman was having your baby? It's not like you're a kid, too young for a child . . . You have an opportunity to be the Dad you never had and you want to throw that away? I guess history does repeat itself . . .
SHE can keep the child. You don't want it so deal with it. I had this same situation once and I flat out was going to make the guy sign all rights away. Unfortunately the situation took care of itsself before I was more than 2 months along. And hey if YOU didn't want a kid why not use a condom birth control does reult in 2.5 pregnancies out of 100 women with perfect usage every year. The only way to NOT get preggo is to not have sex. People that have sex and then wonder how this happened make me so mad. She has the right to the child and not trapping you. Is she holding a gun to your head? Is she taking you to court? Maybe you should play grown up since you think you are old enough to have sex so deal with it. Men infuriate me. Next time wrap it up or keep it in your pants if you don't want the possiblity.
Why can't I up-vote this more than once?
How about giving the baby up for adoption, is she open to the idea? Have you suggested it?
No I haven't I have tried texting and calling her since I spoke to her last. She hasn't returned my calls or messages. I'm trying to meet up with her and talk about it. If she really wants to keep the child I be like OK fair enought but I want no part in it and avoid contact from her, because its her decision and her responsibility.
She ought to keep in touch. Can you just drop by where she lives? I think you guys really need to talk.
Just to point out you did have a part in it or the baby wouldn't be around. Seems like she might be the more level headed one. If you don't want anything to do with it just remember how you will feel knowing there is a part of you out there. Regardless the kid needs a real man in his life not you.
If she is fine with keeping the baby, then why the hell should she put it up for adoption because HE won't man up?
If she wanted to give the baby up for adoption, would you tell her to woman up? Children of single mothers rarely do well in life.
You are talking about giving the child up because he doesn't want to take responsibly for his actions, she is taking care of hers. And if the roles were switched yes I would. My whole point is, why should the baby be put up because one parent wants nothing to do with it? How is that fair to the child and other party?
And there are plenty of single parent children out there (unfortunately) and not all of them have bad lives. Sure it sucks, but one damn good parent can make all the difference.