Gave my BFF a blowjob, now what?

Hi, so I have been hanging out with this guy very regularly since October (nearly every day!). I've met all his friends and we have been very good friends all this time, advising each other on my break-up and his relationship problems. A few weeks ago I got very drunk and stayed over at his place, but nothing happened apart from cuddling. He dumped his GF the very next day. And then this weekend, the same thing happened again, but this time it ended with me giving him a BJ. He really wanted to have sex, but I was way too tired and too drunk to give in, however, I still wanted him to have some fun. I didn't even get undressed, which - now that I think about it - was probably weird. But somewhere inside my drunken mind I wanted to keep the mystery alive. I saw him today and it was all back to normal - normal chats about how our weekend's been etc. No indication of anything more. But I really want to sleep with him again, this time properly! What should I do? I did let him know that night that I just can't have sex with him right now, but that I am fully intending to in the future. Please advise!
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Most Helpful Girl

  • So. you're asking how we can help you sleep with him?
    It won't be hard because the dynamic of your relationship with him already possess a pattern of being sexual.
    However, if you are looking for a more significant presence long term, it may be in your best interest to focus less on building a sexual connection and more of a mental one. There's nothing wrong with being sexual, but you have to be realistic about the fact that guys tend to "disqualify" females as a serious candidate for a relationship or girlfriend when things are too sexual in the beginning.

    • But it is not the beginning! We have hung out pretty much every day since October and we know each other very well. This is why this is so confusing and why I worry that he will just pull away and consider this a one-off thing... I'm more asking whether the fact that I did not sleep with him in the traditional sense and he has not seen me naked was a mistake or actually a step in the right direction, as in to get him to sleep with me for real next time. Or if this might have put him off.

    • I see you trying to convince yourself that you guys have something special because you spend a lot of time together. Many girls do that and then end up disappointed because they find out the guy really has no desire to have a romantic attachment, only a sexual one. No offense sweetie, but it really doesn't matter that you didn't sleep with him and you weren't naked because you still sucked his d*ck. You still kind of put out in a way. You need to define the relationship before you continue to

    • give him boyfriend treatment.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guys

  • Just come out and tell him that you are ready to have sex with him and ask if he wants to. Simple as that.

  • Just invite him over to watch a movie at your place some night, he'll know exactly what that means.

    • I did and he declined :(

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • just keep giving him blowjob's then, he will love that

    • Haha if it only was this easy :p I have the (bad) feeling that he's not going to put himself in this situation again.

  • Well you hang out, flirt, get close to each other, start kissing, then start sexing. lol it's that simple