Getting into BDSM; anyone who can give some tips or headsups?

[UrsusAtavus]

So my girlfriend and I are both fairly kinky, but as of yet we've only talked about fetishes an such, without the chance to act out on anything just yet. I'm her first boyfriend, and so she has no experience prior to meeting me, but she says she wants to try a lot of different things. And high up on both of our lists is bondage (along with anal, but that isn't the main topic this time around). I've done some reading up on it, and I have watch different kinds of p*rn on the topic, but I realise p*rn can distort and give off a false impression that can be far from the reality of things. Therefore I'd like to hear about you guys' experiences and such. At this point, I think it will be mostly a powerplay, not much with the "hardcore" pain infliction. More of show of dominance, but personally I'm not sure whether I will turn out for of an S or an M. Anyway, all input is appreciated.

[MrOracle]

1. Read this book.

www.amazon.com/.../ref=sr_1_1

BDSM has a lot of great aspects, but there are health (physical and mental) and safety issues that you need to have some knowledge of in order to be safe, and to understand what's going on. Things that are seemingly very minor can be the difference between a fun time and a hospital visit or jail cell. Knowledge is key.

2. Make an account on FetLife. com, read all of the "sticky" posts in the Novices & Newbies forum, and find a Munch in your area. A Munch is a non-kinky social for kinky people, usually held in a public restaurant (often in a semi-private room, so SOME discussion can be had), where you can meet people in your area who have similar interests. Having people you can talk to openly, and will support you, is fantastic, plus they'll know about events in your area - both public and private, where you can learn, check out cool toys, fetish clothes, and so on, and have a great time.

It's perfectly okay (and quite common) to not know exactly where you fit in or what your orientation/desires are. Many people don't figure those questions out for years, and others find that they evolve over time. The kink community has developed terms and language to help people understand these things, which can help you relate.

Good luck!

[AustinMan]

My friend, @MrOracle, gives great advice suggesting the book SM 101 by Jay Wiseman. I would strongly encourage you to look at a different book together: Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns by Philip Miller and Molly Devon. It's an overview of kink in general and will answer some basic questions about bondage but, more importantly in your particular case of exploration and discovery, give you both a survey of some of the more common kinks. I love that you're talking about it and have a common interest in exploring BDSM and those parts of it that you find exciting. As a pretty kinky dominant with a sadistic streak, I can tell you that kinky relationships are closer and more robust generally than vanilla ones.

[Anonymous]

Well there's some advice from the more experienced people below, and then there's mine which is that of a couple who have more recently decided to do what you're doing now and may be more appropriate at this time (no disrespect meant). If you like I can message you about it but I'm not that happy going into detail here.

[Anonymous]

Get her a strap on and you can both learn about the joys of anal