Girl claimed I molested her. Did I really?

EmergencyTraffic Xper 2

Me and this girl I used to have feelings for (before she turned into a butchy lesbian)... I was 20 and she was 16 at the time. This was a different girl than the one I lost my virginity to. Anyways, we were down at my grandparent's tiki bar and we had a little too much to drink. I brought her up into the house and we started to cuddle and make out. I started to feel her up a bit, but nothing below the belt line. I took her home and I picked her up and pinned her against the car and started to make out with her, tongue and everything. Well a year or so went by and she contacted me and she is still not over it. She claims that I "molested" her. What do you think?

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Frost_Byt3 Guru
+1 y
Depends on the age of consent in your area. Although, even if she was of legal age, isn't there some kind of rule about only being able to have sex with someone 1 year older than you until you are 18? (Legally).

Then again, you didn't even have sex with her, so everything above can pretty much be disregarded. I'm no expert on law, but by the sound of it, it could only be sexual harrassment at the very most.

If 16 is the legal age of consent in your area, and she indeed consented to you (as long as there is no maximum age difference law), then what you did couldn't even be called sexual harrassment.

No matter what you did to her is technically called, you can't be arrested for it unless she hasn't showered in a year.
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tyber1 Yoda
+1 y
Well you were both underage for drinking, whether she was underage for sex depends on where you live. I wouldn't say it was molestation unless A) you tricked her into getting drunk to fool around with her B) 16 is under the age of consent wherever you live and/or C) she was way more drunk than you.
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Most Helpful Girls

Anonymous
+1 y
The real question is, why did you ply a woman with alcohol (no, not a woman. A girl). She could not have been ordering those drinks herself. You did this. You sexually assaulted her. You used alcohol to 'gain' her 'consent (thus, she DID NOT consent)'; not only tht, but your actions were physically forceful; "pinning her to the car... tongue and everything", & I wouldn't be surprised if you had done this to girls perhaps before & doubtlessly after. You're a serial rapist, probably. This is your MO. And one girl has been brave enough to tell you, 'You traumatised me'. And you, scumbag tht you are, are seeking to discredit her & her trauma. Burn in hell.
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Laura_Marx Xper 7
+1 y
Jesus fucking christ.

Yes, you got an underaged girl drunk and forced yourself on her. You absolutely 100% did molest her, legally and morally.
11 1 2 4
- EmergencyTraffic
  +1 y
  Are you saying that just because you were a victim of rape?
- Laura_Marx
  +1 y
  I know you're trolling but like... jesus christ, 11 people really said you didn't molest her? like, fucking seriously?
- cth96190
  +1 y
  Underage? Not necessarily. In some jurisdictions, such as where I live, 16 is the age of consent.
- Show All Show Less
- Laura_Marx
  +1 y
  Nice argument.
- EmergencyTraffic
  +1 y
  This really happened. And maybe it is YOU thst is overreacting And you were a rape victim too. So there is bias.
- Laura_Marx
  +1 y
  I am your only lolcow in this thread and that distresses me. I am willing to accept the humiliation because I really can't believe everyone is fine with that. You are trying to troll people and they're not even getting trolled! They're on your side! That's crazy! I will tell you the truth, you know, becase you are here to hear it: I am a rape victim. And it is true, I feel profound horror at what the other answerers are saying. They don't care at all. I can't understand it, I really can't.
- EmergencyTraffic
  +1 y
  I am sorry to hear that baby girl :( I can remember you telling me you were raped as a child.
- Laura_Marx
  +1 y
  oh, who is this?
- EmergencyTraffic
  +1 y
  Your future lover Nah... i remember you from a long time ago
- cth96190
  +1 y
  What is a lolcow?
- Laura_Marx
  +1 y
  @cth96190 uhh its like someone who is good for laughing at. Like "cash cow" but for lulz. I mean it in the sense that I'm being baited by his trolling. (Typically a lolcow doesn't know they're being laughed at, in this case I am going along with it because it serves a great purpose, there can be a level of hostile cooperation between us) @asker yeah I feel like I rememer you now kinda. Why do you ask questions like these?
- Laura_Marx
  +1 y
  *greater purpose, typo. It's not a great purpose but its a greater purpose than avoiding humiliation online :P
- cth96190
  +1 y
  Tks. Without wanting to antagonise you, I really do not see anything wrong with the scenario that he described. That scene is played out between horny teenagers every day of the week. He groped, he fondled, but he did not screw her, or (apparently) force her to do anything that she was not up for. Also, for all we know, the girl may have been past the age of consent where they lived. It sounds to me that a year after the event she has become a born-again Feminist and is looking for things to be offended by, as well as things that play into the Feminist narrative of perpetual victimhood.
- Laura_Marx
  +1 y
  @cth96190 you also don't believe the holocaust happened I don't like taking intellectual shortcuts like that but I'm really not gonna engage with you, guy
- ravidricha96
  +1 y
  @cth96190 It's okay, I'll ditto what this guy says so you can take it into account. They were both drunk, and at least by account of the asker, she did not resist or tell him to stop nor was she ever forced to do so and instead went along with it. You cannot retract consent after the incident, or at least you shouldn't be allowed to because that's stupid.
- ravidricha96
  +1 y
  I would however like to note, that this is still based solely on what I've read here, and there's not much to go about on what actually happened. The fact that he said "and she's still not over it", the keyword being still, implies there is much more to this story to me, because it sounds like she has complained about this since it happened, rather than a year later, which then implies that maybe it was forced and she was never okay with it to begin with.
- Laura_Marx
  +1 y
  @ravidricha96 She was underage. Maybe not "in his jurisdiction" but come on, she was 16. A child. Additionally, she was under drinking age. Barely even driving age. He had 100% of the power in that situation. He had to procure drinks for her (at a bar his own family owned - his bar), drive her to his own property, and then start making moves on her. She was not in a position to refuse consent because of the drastic power imbalance. That's the nature of statuary rape: not her relative maturity but his relative power. He had the power of an adult and placed her in an adult situation she could not otherwise have been in, and which she could not get herself out of. It's sexual assault.
- ravidricha96
  +1 y
  @Laura_Marx Yea I get you have a differing opinion on a 16 year old and a 20 year old getting together. But that's useless. If it's not illegal, it's not illegal. And they both clearly wanted to be together. You're right, she was under drinking age, unless they live in a different country or something. However, that falls on her, not the guy. (Well, he could be in trouble for letting a minor drink alcohol I think. Or if he supplied it to her.) However, the guy, who was 20 at the time, was also underaged, voiding your point. But even if he wasn't, that was still the girls' choice to drink, unless he otherwise forced/coerced her to. (Which then, I would argue that as drugging someone, and yea, that's rape even if he too is drunk) Driving age has no factor in this really. The fact that someone drives someone in a car doesn't make them the rapist in the scenario (and why would you think that?). Give me a second, I need a part 2.
- ravidricha96
  +1 y
  Part 2. I'm actually going to change my statement. I thought they were together at the time, but I just now reread, and they're not. Based on that, it's pretty likely she did not want that attention and everything you said was pretty much right. I mean she still could have refused, but they're not together. There's no reason there should have been any prior consent to the guy's actions. There may have been something situational that may have otherwise shown consent, but that's not only not likely, we also would have no way of knowing since we weren't there. Anyhow, I'm in mild agreement with you.
- Laura_Marx
  +1 y
  @ravidricha96 so, I don't honestly give a fuck about the law. I don't care about the legal implications of the Case. Whatever. I'm talking about, like, actual shit happening to real human beings. As far as him not being the drinking age - yeah, but he got it from his grandfathers bar. You see what I mean? He had all of the agency in this situation and she had none. The fact is I know he would not get arrested for it, he broke no laws, but he is a monster. And she is right to say he assaulted her. Uh, of course, aside from the fact that neither of them exist, and this is a hoax question. Also I'm glad you're in "mild agreement" with me, I will use this opportunity to say: maybe next time don't throw your chips in with an actual fucking nazi?
- cth96190
  +1 y
  You have spent way too much time in gender studies lectures. You are using all the feminist psychobabble jargon and you have the feminist victim narrative scorched into the front of your brain. Also, it may surprise you, but National Socialists base their ideology and actions on logic, cold unemotional logic, with an eye to the greater good. I would not expect you to understand.
- Laura_Marx
  +1 y
  @cth96190 dude I've never even been to a university YOU'RE A NAZI GET AWAY FROM ME
- ravidricha96
  +1 y
  Well like I said across my comments. If he got her drunk specifically to fuck her, which seems more likely what happened, that's not okay. If he forced her to drink, or convinced her to drink when she otherwise wouldn't, that's essentially rape. But if he merely provided the alcohol, and she wanted to drink, he didn't do anything wrong there. She had the power to not put herself in that situation, but she chose to drink. Also, I don't care he's a nazi or whatever. That's just pointless ad hominem and his own stupid opinion on something else not relevant to this at all. That doesn't invalidate what he is saying on his own. Like, if a different nazi came and agreed with us, that doesn't invalidate us either. That frankly just doesn't make sense. Also, I don't even know if he is a nazi or not.
Stephbs2 Xper 6
+1 y
She could've stopped you right? Besides doesn't sound like molesting to me
0 1 1 0
- EmergencyTraffic
  +1 y
  Right
- frogsbae_1
  +1 y
  She was drunk
- frogsbae_1
  +1 y
  But yeah she was not molested
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- Stephbs2
  +1 y
  @frogsbae_1 So? I don't make out with guys I don't want when I'm drunk...
- frogsbae_1
  +1 y
  Because it is not ur true intention
- Stephbs2
  +1 y
  @frogsbae_1 Sorry what?
samhradh_leannan Editor
+1 y
She was underage AND drunk. The picture doesn't look too good.
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15 6

ravidricha96 Xper 5
+1 y
No, you were both drunk, and she didn't tell to stop at the time, at least from your account.
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- ravidricha96
  +1 y
  I retract this. I thought you two were together.
140597 Xper 6
+1 y
I wouldn't say you like molested her but you did go too far, I mean she was only 16. You should of just brought her home and nothing more.
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slatyb Master
+1 y
Maybe you did. You said you "pinned her against the car". If she was resisting but you continued, then you committed a sexual assualt.
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- EmergencyTraffic
  +1 y
  She didn't resist. She made out with me too... and she smiled after we were done.
zooeynicks24 Xper 5
+1 y
Shoot, if that counts as molestation, that's happened to me a lot. lol.
1 1 0 0
BlondyBabe Xper 4
+1 y
No but she was underage
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BillieJean1070 Guru
+1 y
Can you say REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER?
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- EmergencyTraffic
  +1 y
  Haha I remember you too!
miserybusiness Yoda
+1 y
Uhh... based on that info alone, doesn't sound like it. Did she struggle at all? Try to push you away?
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Emberremembers Xper 4
+1 y
Of course you did you sick bastard. You got an underage girl drunk and stole third base without asking. Your a rapey piece of shit and I hope she sues you so hard your balls fall off. And then I want the biggest mother fucker in the prison you go to to molest you without asking and see how you like it. Not joking I literally hate you and any guy who acts like you.😡
1 0 2 0
UncagedAgent Xper 6
+1 y
Y O U V E A C T I V A T E D M Y T R A P C A R D
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SunnyCaliGirl Guru
+1 y
No I don't that is molestation, but you were way too old to be even touching a 16yr
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Jayded1 Explorer
+1 y
Hard to say, did she say no, or resist you? Did she freeze up and did nothing?
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adrianalima0 Xper 5
+1 y
No wtf. It sounds like she enjoyed it.
1 0 2 0
NatashaBeauty Xper 5
+1 y
She consented at the time so she can't come back a year later and try to act like it was your fault
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DaddyRollingStone Yoda
+1 y
Doesn't seem like you molested her.

She probably regrets it and wants to see someone else fall for her mistake and since you were the only other person involved you have to fall.
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PlzJustDie Xper 7
+1 y
Jesus everything's turning into rape nowadays.

Not taking sides but from what you're saying she was pretty aware of what was going on, and she could've said no.
1 1 0 0
- Laura_Marx
  +1 y
  She was 16 years old and intoxicated.
- PlzJustDie
  +1 y
  @Laura_Marx the only thing wrong about this situation is her age. Other than legally, he didb't do anyhting wrong.
- Laura_Marx
  +1 y
  are you fucking serious?
- Show All Show Less
- Laura_Marx
  +1 y
  other than the fact that he molested her its okay?
- ravidricha96
  +1 y
  @Laura_Marx Age of consent laws differ by state, so 16 and 20 may be perfectly okay where they live. That's out the window. They were both intoxicated. I don't know why the girl is automatically the victim in those scenarios. I can kinda see why when the girl is intoxicated and the guy is not, but the girl and the guy are intoxicated. Technically, by the rule of "drunk people cannot consent", neither of them could have been able to consent, because they were both drunk.
- Laura_Marx
  +1 y
  @ravidricha96 okay, like, fuck the law for five minutes do you seriously think its okay for a 20 year old to buy a 16 year old drinks and fuck them? I don't care about gender. I don't care about the exact scenario of this question, which is a troll question. Do you really think thats okay? For a 20 year old to fuck a 16 year old they got drunk? Is that acceptale to you?
- ravidricha96
  +1 y
  @Laura_Marx Also in reply to that last remark of your's though. Well, 17 is the youngest to me as a 20 year old following the golden rule of divide by 2 and add 7, but that's other's people's business and I genuinely don't care as long as it's not extreme (and sorry, but I don't think a gap of 4 years is extreme in difference) Is it okay for a 20 year old to buy a 16 year old a drink and fuck them? Barring laws, sure, as long as the 16 year old wants that. Is it okay for a 20 year old to get a 16 year old drunk in order to fuck them? No, that's entirely different. That's absolutely rape. That's essentially drugging them to loosen them up to make a mistake. But like I said, I misread. I thought they were boyfriend and girlfriend, but they're not That changes how the scenario plays out in my head, because there's no reason to think now that maybe the 16 year old girl would want to have sex or anything of the sort.
- Laura_Marx
  +1 y
  @ravidricha96 realistically yeah, actually two of my close friends were together when one was 20 and the other was 16, the real world is more complicated than raw data, people are relating to each other differently, all the time. There are other 22 year olds I feel are 'too young' for me, and 18 year olds I feel miniscule next to. But I don't see how anyone can seriously read this question and not be like, 'holy shit, this is sexual assault', I really don't. Not unless they really, really want to believe in the prevalence of false rape claims.
- ravidricha96
  +1 y
  @Laura_Marx Well I thought they were together. That makes this hypothetical situation play out in many different ways. Like if she wanted to drink, she wanted to drink. And he did too. And that leaves them both to make bad decisions they might regret. And they'd be together, so you know, there's at least a little implied consent there (there just has to be for a relationship), that she'd want him/be okay with him kissing her or maybe touching her/cuddling with her and stuff, unless that was otherwise discussed prior. And then, you know if she didn't want that and there was some miscommunication there, but she could stop it before anything really happened. But they weren't together. So he kind of just did that without any reason to believe any consent.
nog6422 Xper 6
+1 y
Why was she drinking alchohol in the first place if she was 16?
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SnatchFinderGeneral Xper 5
+1 y
Was she underage? 16 is not underage everywhere.

I know from gag that most women lose their fucking virginity before then anyways.
0 0 1 0
- Laura_Marx
  +1 y
  snatch finder come on. I know you are a big troll like me but I believe you are a good person. You know this isn't okay, right? For a grown man to get a girl drunk and start kissing her? Et tu, brute? You must see through this
- SnatchFinderGeneral
  +1 y
  @Laura_Marx Ok look. Assuming she wasn't underage in law in that state or whatever, the act might fall under the definition of molestation, because she was drunk right? I can agree to call is molestation based on that. Not because she didn't consent, but because she wasn't fit too. But I don't think it is that morally wrong. It's not saintly, don't get me wrong. But honestly... being saintly gets you nowhere, while the biggest arseholes reap the most rewards.
- Laura_Marx
  +1 y
  is molesting an intoxicated 16 year old girl a reward that you want to reap?
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- SnatchFinderGeneral
  +1 y
  @Laura_Marx when you put it that way... YEAH!
- Laura_Marx
  +1 y
  I'm serious snatch finder... human 2 human. We're talking about men doing shit to little girls. Are your values that screwed up by now? That you'd accept performing any number of inhumane acts just for a chance at domination? I'm worried about you. You can't live this way
- SnatchFinderGeneral
  +1 y
  @Laura_Marx Ok, serious now. I don't call post-pubertal females little girls. No, I don't think it's right. I don't want to molest young women. This guy was 20. It's a 4 year difference. I'm not sure molestation is the correct term if there were no genitals involved though. But I would have sex with a 16 year old girl if it was consensual and legal.
- Laura_Marx
  +1 y
  Okay. Thank you. You are an imbecile, but I know you are not a complete monster <33333
- SnatchFinderGeneral
  +1 y
  @Laura_Marx I prefer "Arsehole", thank you :)
- Laura_Marx
  +1 y
  LOOLLL, I'll remember that.
Anonymous
+1 y
No, that is stupid.
0 0 1 0
Anonymous
+1 y
she was intoxicated and you took advantage of her...
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Anonymous
+1 y
Did she say no?
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