Girlfriend said she thinks about here guy friends when she’s masturbating, what should I think?

Question

To begin this whole situation the girl I’m talking about is my 2nd love, but I definitely love her more because my first love ended pretty fast because she ended it pretty quickly, I’ve spent so much more time, effort and care on her and I have felt more and new feelings for her (so she’s kinda my first true love). I’d literally do anything for her (which I feel is really unhealthy and probably not normal but it’s the way I feel)

The issue that first arises is that already lack trust for my girlfriend. She wasn’t perfect but I loved her for what and everything she was. But I caught her talking (he was actually whispering to her while I was otp with her) to another guy over the phone (I talked to her about it so I gave her the benefit of the doubt), then I heard a rumour she slept with a different guy months later (I gave her the benefit of the doubt) then I found out she was hanging out with other (like 2-3, on a couple different occasions while we where dating), most recently I realized she was sexting an ex and made plans to go to another guys “hotel room” to meet him over text (I gave her the benefit of the doubt again). I feel fucking crazy stupid, I really don’t know if I’m believing her, forgiving her or just looking like a fool in the process.

Today she came to my place and we played a game (I believe an adult one) where you ask the other player whatever question is on the card. I got one for her that asked “what have you been thinking of lost recently when you masturbate” and she said here guy friends (I kinda scoffed it off and ignored it but it really hurt). But I feel like that was the final straw, I don’t believe all the crazy coincident’s she’s been telling me happened are the truth, I don’t trust her, I still love her tho and I desperately do not want to forgive her but I don’t want to be done with her. I need help and advice. Please chime in and thanks.

AiahZ · Accepted Answer

Sorry you're hurting, man. And I know a lot of people will disagree with me, but I don't think it's practical to try to own or control other people's thoughts and feelings. Without seeming angry, ask your girlfriend if she still wants to be with you. Ask her what the relationship means to her. But watch her body language MORE than you listen to her words. I think it's natural for at least some people to need a broader sex life than thinking about and being with only one other person. People can get angry about that, but I don't see it as much more effective than getting angry over the fact that storms sometimes happen. It's nature.

But respect your own needs. If this kind of a relationship doesn't feel good to you, find a girl who feels the same as you do. Hope you find happiness.

KmuFonsy · Accepted Answer

Relationship is based on trust if there's not , the relationship is unhealthy and relationships aren't suppose to make your life so much miserable. Talk to her if you really love her maybe can give her a last chance but if you re tired it of it , end it after you re sure she did all that. Please take care of yourself and you re feelings. In relationships there can be ups and downs but at the end of the day you still forgive and love each other and are loyal to each other , if there's only downs or at least that's how you feel then you know what you gotta do. You have to protect your heart for getting unnecessary hurt

boredguy01 · Accepted Answer

She clearly wants to fuck other guys and there's a good chance she already is cheating on you so you should dump her unless you're happy being a cuckold