Sexual Relationships
11 mo

Girlfriend told me she was a virgin but I think she lied?

Hi there. So I'm 22, I've been in a relationship with this girl for a year, she's 24. I was a complete kissless virgin when I met her, my family is very religious but I am not anymore since many years ago. When I met her she told me she was a virgin even though I did not ask, since I'm not religious I don't think it matters. She probably thought I cared because of my family. We dated for 3 months and would make out, she would give me oral too (although very unskilledfully) but wouldn't have sex. When we finally have sex I'm extremely nervous, I struggle to put on the condom because I've never done it before. But she's completely relaxed, does not bleed and does not hurt for her at all. I don't think much of it but eventually it starts to eat me inside. A little bit of background: I'm from a very religious family (unfortunately) and my parents wouldn't let me go to parties late, much less drink any alcohol. She's the complete opposite, her parents would let her do anything, she told me she usually would drink with her friends since highschool or even before that. She has a scar behind her right shoulder that she does not remember how she got, due to being so drunk. She also told me a story about how once one of her female friends cheated on her boyfriend and even had the 2 guys come over, without them knowing they were being deceived; all of this in her teenage years. The story seemed funny to her. Nowadays she still goes out with her friends to bars and clubs and gets so drunk she can barely walk much less drive (by her own words). I'm worried she might have lied to me, and if she did what's stopping her from doing it again or even cheating?

Updates:
11 mo
Thank you all for your answers. I will talk to her about this and more. Mainly I wrote this to vent, since stalking about this to other men in person is difficult, as they might see you as weak. The reason I started doubting so much is because last week she excluded me from a party her family had. She had previously invited me, however in the end decided to go alone. It really hurt me because I have introduced her to all of my family already. Then she started treating me coldly and not talking.
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AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion

  • you have a layered issue here, lets get this out of the way first a hymen can be popped at anytime in sports even riding a bike, tampon use, masturbation, if there was enough natural lube meaning her turned on enough it would be comfortable. first time sex with a virgin doesn't mean she will hurt or it will be painful, if she masturbates she knows her body, not all virgins will bleed either due to broken hymen from explination above.

    why dont you just ask her sit her down and have a conversation about it?

    • You're right, she produces a lot of lubricant naturally, even that first time. And being rather uncaring for religion and such she masturbates. I will talk to her about it

Most Helpful Girl

  • The thing about this is, you will never know the truth. You can lie about your body count to someone, you can lie about your virginity to someone. I think the bottom line is, is because these things are so personal I think these things shouldn’t be the main focus of dating someone because you will never know the actual truth. When I lost my virginity, I wasn’t hurting and I didn’t bleed either. Not every girl reacts the same when losing it.
    I think your bigger issue here, is it seems like she’s a party girl. You seem off put by the fact that she goes out a lot. Do you want to date a girl that goes out and parties a lot?

    • You're right, I'll never know the truth which is why I didn't ask her in the first place. It just bothers me that she could go out of her way to lie to me. I don't want to date a girl that parties a lot, I don't ever have fun at parties sadly because of my social anxiety. What worries me is she might get so blacked out drunk she might cheat on me and I have no way of knowing, she's not gonna tell me and it might be the case she has no problem with lying about it. I'll talk to her about it, but I think it will end up in a breakup, I feel so uncomfortable that I'd rather be alone

    • @asker well you can’t assume she is lying about that or not. There’s no proof. Maybe instead of looking at her drinking as a reason not to trust her, maybe look at it as more of a safety issue. “Hey I’m a little concerned with how you drink at parties because I’m afraid of you blacking out and something happening to you” . I think that is really the only concern for you to have. Tbh it just sounds like you have trust issues that are going to get in the way of this relationship

Most Helpful Guys

  • Some women don’t feel discomfort when they lose their virginity. Some people don’t get nervous about such things. The question is, if you don’t think it matters, why worry about it? It seems the issue is one of trust. You need to figure out whether you will trust this woman or not. If not, it’s going to be a difficult relationship under the best of circumstances and even worse if she is indeed untrustworthy.

    • You're right, this is about trust. I have unfortunately been hurt quite a bit in the past and have some difficulties trusting women. I'll talk to her about it

  • All your doing atm is iverthinking she could have been completely telling the truth but has used sex toys before

    • I'm a huge overthinker. I need to work on that a bit more. Maybe she has used sex toys as you said, she was single from around 15 to 23 that I met her. Guess there's really no way of knowing, I will talk to her about this

    • Good luck

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 4

  • not a virgin

  • Sounds like she was lying, would you still marry her if she was not virgin?

    Girlfriend told me she was a virgin but I think she lied?

    • Sounds very suspicious indeed. I do not want to marry ever, precisely because I don't trust people much and for other reasons

  • Her lying about that and the type of friends she has doesn't have you wanting to leave, so stick it out and let this all go.👍

    • It actually kinda does, over time these things de tells me have accumulated and started bothering me. I'm planning on talking about it with her possibly breaking up. I just feel like she's gonna hurt me and I don't want that to happen

  • You're an idiot

    If you can't take her word, wtf are you even doing?

    • Indeed I am an idiot. As someone said before I need to figure out if I can trust her or not, and if not get the hell out of there

  • Did she swallow after first time oral? If she did she ain't no virgin

  • I think it's more concerning she would be friends with a cheater

    • That's very worrisome too to be honest. I have been losing trust in her little by little with all the things she does and tells me

  • It's none of your business if she is or not. Get over it.

    • It actually can be if you’re looking for that specific woman and yes virgin women exist out there.

    • It kind of is but mostly for medical reasons. You know, STDs that are incurable and all. Otherwise I agree with you, I didn't want to know if she was a virgin or how many guys she had, and didn't ask

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