Girls have you ever gotten wet while cuddling with a guy and not wanted sex?

[Anonymous]

I had a friend sleep over after a breakup with her ex recently, and we started cuddling (I've had a thing for her for a while now), and I was rubbing her thighs and holding her tight and kissing her. She said "I hope you realize I'm not able to kiss you right". Turn off... but anyway I could see where she was coming from just killed the moment. I kept cuddling her and running my hand on her thighs and within like 20mins she was soaking... Well she had on tights but they were wet all the way to her knees. I didn't push sex with her even tho she would grab my hair and hand whenever I kissed her, but Im curious, do you think she wanted sex? It wouldve been weird to do it without her kissing me...

[juneangel6390]

kissing is kinda a personal intimate thing for girls. Its kinda sounds like to me, that yes, she may have wanted to sex just as a release. Just wanted to let out some stress and tension or anger form the break up. But she just wasn't interested in starting anything long term or relationship like. Thats why she didn't wanna kiss.
Or it could just be the simple fact that as a woman, our brains, heart, and P**** dont always agree on wanting the same thing lol she could have just been confused.

[kaylaS91]

It's possible your friend wanted sex, but knew that for whatever reason she shouldn't. That sort of thing has never happened to me. I know that if I start cuddling with a guy, I'll soon enough get wet, horny and want to have sex. Since I know that happens, I don't put myself in situations where I'm cuddling with someone, even my boyfriend, when I know that I won't be able to have sex.

[Asker]

that's what I was thinking... still fucking weird though, having sex with someone without kissing them. I mean...whatt?

[Anonymous]

I would say it was possible, but maybe she just wasn't ready to have sex with someone else or was scared that y'all would start hooking up or something and it not work and she would lose you as a friend. I mean she oblivious cares about you and thinks highly of you if she came to you for comfort after a break up.

[Asker]

Naw... she went to other guys too. And in the end I realized she was just using me. Had to let that one go unfortunately... caused too much pain and didn't see things going anywhere.

[Opinion Owner]

Aw man I'm sorry! Forget about her, that's just not right!

[Asker]

:) thanks! I did, it still ruins my day though everytime I see her around... Like today. Ha. Anyway it was for the best.

[Opinion Owner]

It'll get better, just think you could've had sex with her no smooches! That would've sucked, you would've had that awkward stare with each other while it was going on. 😉

[Asker]

LOL true...and as much as I wanted it, thats the only reason I didn't do anything haha... so awkward

[Opinion Owner]

Hahaha! I can only imagine! No doubt about the fact she wanted it if she got that wet! Maybe she's just into awkward sex or something creepy like that lol

[Asker]

Naw, she's not the type. I think it was the fact that she finally got to be in bed with me (she had a crush on me before but I was interested in someone else and by the time I let that person go she realized she wasn't over her ex), so those feelings probably resurfaced when we were in bed.

[Cheeky_Unfortunate]

Neurologically, yes. You would think it backwards but people actually do want to have sex when entering into high stress situations and realities because sex is one of the best stress reducers. The mental proposition, or "conscious proposition", would suggest some form of regret however the brain is unaware ( or gives no shits ) and will seek any form of available opportunity in order to alleviate stress.

It's good you didn't have sex with her anyway.

[Asker]

why do you say its good? Also what are you studying? Neuroscience? Or Human ecology?

[Cheeky_Unfortunate]

Let's just say "I read". Anyway, it's good because the rampage and fit itself is short-term and while you could have gotten something out of it your own emotional investment would have turned very sour on you. I'm presuming you liked her on a personal level instead of a meathole but that's just me making a presumption. If I am correct this activity would have caused you a lot of stress because feeling used, no matter what the circumstances, isn't healthy.

[Asker]

what you just said... PERFECTION. Thats exactly what it was for her. Those three functions. This whole story happened a few months ago. Many things happened since then and I had to break up things with her for those 3 exact reasons. Although she admittedly liked me at one point I realized I was being used for anti-stress, anti rejecton and the need of feeling wanted. Not to mention that she didn't recognize the things I did for her or all the times I was there for her. Anyway you're a genius lol. Should've talked to you before the whole ordeal.

[Asker]

Well what do you read? Cause I need the same manual. You got it all figured out haha. Like I said the whole thing played out and unfortunately it did so just the way you presumed...

[Cheeky_Unfortunate]

Heh, I'm just another kid on the internet. Whatever the case it's good this worked in your favor. You dodged a serious emotional bullet.

[Asker]

haha more like I got hit by it but it healed :P. Thanks, for your input man. I might hit you up later if I need some advice.

[Cheeky_Unfortunate]

Sure. Be well. ^_^

[DodgersGM]

Both genders can become physiologically aroused with actually having a conscious desire for sexual contact. It happens.

[LoseMyself]

Yes, I have before. I wasn't ready for sex because of a bad break-up and there were still residual feelings for the ex.

I think she wanted it but was still getting over the break-up.

[MaskofInsanity]

She wanted the comfort. She was vulnerable after the break up and craved the intimacy. Just because your touch was arousing doesn't mean she actually wanted to have sex. Women are emotional creatures and we need that physical reassurance.

[Asker]

how can you be turned on by someone sexually and not want to be with them? I mean I get it... If I just broke up with someone I likely won't be turned on by anyone for a while... But thats means exactly that...Even if a girl is in my med and rubbing against me, I wouldn't get hard because there's nothing there for me.

[Asker]

I just realized the end sounds a bit wrong but u know what I mean lol

[MaskofInsanity]

I'm sorry, but do you really think that another woman can't get you hard if you want another? Because I'm sure that if a guy was rubbing his hand up my thigh suggestively my body would react whether or not I want to have sex with him.

[Cheeky_Unfortunate]

You pose a good question and the answer is actually "yes". The brain plays an extreme amount of importance in sexual response so if some random person is rubbing you there's a good chance you won't respond anywhere near as strongly as you would if it was something you sought out and it's true of both sexes. The reaction itself is tied to adamant standards; the less interested you are the less turned-on you will be regardless of sex. Neutrality however or high stress will lower your likelihood to not be opportunistic. Boring, boring concepts, I know.

[Asker]

No what Im saying is if I was past a break up and wanting to spend time with a girl I wouldn't want to have sex with her. If we cudddled I wouldn't get hard. If he reached and grabbed me perhaps I would but I'd tell her as soon as she would that I can't ...I wouldn't lie there with her trying to turn me on.

[MaskofInsanity]

Yes, unfortunatemale, but she's obviously emotionally vulnerable and confused. @QA, maybe men and women are different then.

[Cheeky_Unfortunate]

I actually don't agree with the idea that she was "confused" or "vulnerable" but instead I would push that she's more willing and aware than we think. Instead of being confused let's say she was being deliberate; she knew this male here had a thing for her for some time, wants to feel wanted, alleviate the rejection, this is literally malicious intent instead of being a waif. I'm not trying to say that she's a bad person but this idea that she's a lost woman who got turned on because of her weakness seems a little too... cliche. Instead let's say she went over with the intent to seduce, knowing full-well what "could" happen, and being under no guise for whim. It doesn't sit well with me that she "wouldn't know", would willingly seek out this particular person, and would act in a suggestively reciprocal manner directly after a huge stress wave "because she's a confused waif". In a sense we're not giving this woman enough credit. This takes cunning.

[Cheeky_Unfortunate]

3 functions served: 1. Physical Stress Reduction 2. Mental Stress Alleviation ( anti-rejection ) 3. Emotional Stress Alleviation ( I'm desirable )

[MaskofInsanity]

I never said she wasn't aware of her behaviour, just that her judgment was clouded.

[Cheeky_Unfortunate]

I can agree to disagree here.

[MaskofInsanity]

Maybe that's for the best lol

[SandraSlip]

I once made a guy "wet" his pants while cuddling, does that count?

[Katy16]

No I don't think she wanted sex and I wouldn't take advantage of her like that if she just went through a break up she's probably really vulnerable right now

[MissJess33]

I agree with MaskOfInsanity... girls are VERY vulnerable after a breakup, especially if they truly loved the guy, and it often leaves us just looking for comfort from someone. It is very possible that she was turned on and did want sex but at the moment all she could think of is the boy she truly wants to be with but can't be so her emotions are all conflicting. I don't think guys realize just how many conflicting emotions a girl can have going on at one time! Just be there for her as a friend whenever she needs you and it may grow into something. Don't push a relationship or sex or anything for a while until she has moved on and is ready for something new. We need time to heal emotionally

[Asker]

question, how likely would a girl be to sleep with other people or develop feelings for someone else. Because that's the approach I was going to take. Not push anything and just give her her time and space. But at the same time I don't want to be there for someone that will just be sexual with other people and jsut use me for emotional support...

[MissJess33]

If she is anything like the me and all the girls i know, she will be more likely to get physical with someone she is emotionally close to.

[Asker]

what if she seeks emotional support from multiple guys?

[MissJess33]

then she very well could seek physical comfort from one of them. I am going through a breakup of sorts and I do seek emotional comfort from several guy friends but I have no intentions on getting any physical comfort from any of them simply because i still love him and even though we aren't together it feels like cheating. Plus, I dont want to be with one guy when I am only thinking of another. I feel like a lot of girls are this way. We do enjoy sexual things, yes, but we need to be nurtured and cared for more in an emotional sense

[Asker]

well to break it down to you girls feel one of three ways for a girl: they want to date them, they want to have sex with them, they want neither. In the case of emotional support, if they give it to you and they want to date you, they will get attached so you dont lead them on... If they want to have sex theyll give you support and be nice but continue on with their life since theyre not attached. Thisll lead you to think they're the best option. And if they want neither theyll just give you the whole " you can do better, I'm sorry to hear that" speech without any thought or feeling. Harsh but true.

[MissJess33]

I think that maybe thats true for you but i have met genuine men who have not felt that way. Just don't be selfish with her... the last thing a girl with a broken heart needs is boys pining after her looking for just sex

[Asker]

I didn't want sex with her... Had I, I wouldve pushed for it. You've met genuine men who would be there for someone emotionally, phyiscally, and then be ok with her pushing them away and moving on to someone else? Hmmm. Those must be rare.