Girls: why do you have sex before marriage (please read the additional details)?

Why I specifically say before marriage is because of the assumption that when you are married, it gives you a "safe space" to unleash your wild side. (Assuming you are married to someone who is compatible with you)

In general, sex for a woman is a big deal: it's the vulnerable physical state where they can be assaulted, forced etc. Furthermore, I have heard about birth control pills affecting hormones in a girl's body.

My aim is to uncover the motivation behind having casual sex and sex in relationships which have not been "formalised" (legally consummated)... Is it pure pleasure? A way to test sexual compatibility? Is it because they are expected to have sex so that "the guy doesn't leave"? Is it because they are being coerced by their partners? Is it because you are feeling lonely and somehow sex acts as a validation (like social media likes and stuff)

(I am sure some might be offended here but it's a genuine question to know why casual sex exists)
Updates:
+1 y
I am surprised at a lack of opinions from the girls on this question
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Superb Opinion

  • From my perspective, girls are mainly losing their V before 16 at least the cute ones. Therefore as an adult male there are zero marriage prospects. Therefore you have something called the fuck boy who has zero marriage prospects and tons of sex prospects. What to do? Fuck em all. Lol.

    • The question is, why are they losing their virginity so young?

    • Because nobody is teaching them its wrong. The moms are feminist even the conservative ones push their kids into feminist options. Ie go to college dont let a man control you be independent but ofc go to church and vote republican. Smh. And the dads dont want to be seen as controlling or abusive. The last generation of husbands are mostly simps.

    • Basically, the society itself is telling them to fuck?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you wait to have sex till you are married, what often happens is that you tend to marry young. And often the marrying tend to be because of sex more then about love. So in many cases you end up regretting it in the long run.

    • Is this from the perspective of a guy or a girl?

    • Both

    • I see

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I'm also surprised at the gender ratio of answers lol. I would say it varies a bit depending on the girl and what the context of the sexual relationship is. However, I will say I think the cultural loosening up on premarital sex as taboo is a great contributing factor to why so many people have premarital sex these days. For better, or for worse.

    But to go back to context-, for example, a woman who frequently seeks out 1 night stands & casual hookups for the sole purpose of sexual gratification likely has a high libido, enjoys sex, and does not view sex as something more serious than a bodily activity. From my observations, women who seek out hookups like this tend to have low self-esteem and probably view the frequent rotation of sexual partners to be a sort of validation. Some people argue this behavior is a reflection of internalized misogyny.

    Another context for premarital sex is doing the dirty with a new dating partner before it's "official." This would likely be a way to test sexual compatibility and the woman who does this likely values sexual compatibility in a relationship, the "lust" side of things. She may value the physical side of things more than the intimate, for whatever reason. She may, or may not, have low self-esteem or be seeking validation via physical means.

    Some women only choose to sleep with a partner after it's "official" or has been for a period of time. These women seem to be more cautious and have higher self-worth. She will not get her legs tangled around you until there is a sense of intimacy, commitment, and she trusts she really knows you. These women likely view sex as more of an intimate or spiritual act; as opposed to the prior 2 examples' view of sex as a "fun" physical activity.

    Women who save their first sexual act for the marriage bed are likely very religious, may be lower in sensation seeking, and high in conscientiousness. I have not met enough women like this to have an impression of their need for validation etc.

    You are correct in your assertion that sex is riskier for women; they could be physically overpowered and harmed, fall pregnant, or worst of all, develop an emotional attachment to some jackass who happened to be a decent lay. The pregnancy risk is usually circumvented through a variety of birth control options, and abortion has been legal in the U. S. for about 50 years (however this might change in the future). Women don't typically consider the "what if he hurts me in this position" angle unless they are more paranoid or have been previously harmed in this way.

    All of this is my opinion, and to give my final opinion, I think women have premarital sex because it feels good (dopamine release) and the message society has been sending for years is one of doing whatever you want with your body, you should not feel shame for it, it's good to be sexy and have a lot of sex! This message has been bolstered by the decline in religion in the U. S. as well as the increased availability of birth control methods; the shame of premarital sex is gone at the same time the means to avoid the worst outcome is available (pregnancy). This cultural shift coincided with the rise of social media, which has been proven to make young women feel worse about themselves along with creating more social isolation/disconnect, thus increasing their need for validation from others.

    This is why I think is very common for young women to have premarital sex. This is not me saying that's good or bad, or anything I believe caused the rise of this is good or bad either.

    • Your response certainly compensated for the lack of responses from female side. I thank you for that. I have some conclusions/counter questions from your answer 1. What exactly is internalised misogyny? Is it self hate OR a hatred or feeling of worthlessness for their own gender (a thought like "women are just supposed to open their legs and keep their men happy so that women get their other needs met") 2. I very well understand your sexual compatibility argument however it also poses an interesting question: is there possible for a couple to not explore sexual compatibility and after getting married, they both "experiment" together? How much do you think the partners would be open with? 3. This is a benefit as well as downside of being associated with a religious individual: they do sex as a duty rather than pleasure. On one hand, it shows their self restraint and morals and on the other hand, they miss out on the sexual pleasure which can be derived by mingling with your partner 4. As a woman, is the risk of using birth control pills and other kind of contraceptives (except the guy wearing a condom) worth the sexual pleasure? 5. What is your personal stance on the society promoting sexual activity like any other pleasure seeking experience? How different is sex from drugs in this context? (Apart from the fact that you need two to mingle and the consequences are suffered by both parties in some way)

    • To follow up with your comments/questions: 1. Internalized misogyny is the idea of women hating themselves & other women by valuing men or "male" characteristics above "female" characteristics. It's like women being sexist against themselves & other women- Wikipedia has a good breakdown to check out. I am no expert in this area.

    • 2. Couples did use to explore sexual compatibility after marriage when marrying two virgins was the norm. If you only ever had sex with one person, it's likely you'll assume that's the only "flavor" of sex out there, and not feel the urge to explore too much if you're happy with that particular flavor. If you or your partner aren't happy with that, you would have to work with your partner to satisfy both of your intimate needs or forgo those needs. The level of openness to experimentation would depend on the particular partners at hand. Now, since most people have had several sexual partners, it's a bit scary to think of committing to someone without having slept with them. You've gotten to sample several flavors- what if your partner is completely incompatible with that type of intimacy? Personally, I've had several sexual partners, and I cannot imagine committing to shagging the same man for the rest of my life without having a clue as to his performance or openness to new things. Is this bad/wrong? I don't know, however, I almost regret these prior experiences because they've clouded my ability to build emotional intimacy before physical. I'll really like a man's personality, but then I can't help but wonder "what is he like in bed?" I'm willing to bet if I had never had sexual experiences I wouldn't be fixated on that question & would be much more likely to commit without sex first, and more likely to work with a committed partner (trying new things) if I weren't fully satisfied. Now... the number of available sexual partners is ridiculously high, I know what flavors are out there, and if he can't scratch my itch it's very easy (yet very cruel) to discard him and find another rather than figure out something new.

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  • Nowadays sex is not a big deal for many people. The purity of sex has gone.

    • The question is... Why?

    • Maybe because of movies and porn. I don't know

  • Not all girls have before marriage

    • I am aware of that.

  • With a chick I don't give a fuck about sure

    • Why would she let you fuck her?

    • It's easy to get sex from women. When you have a silver tongue, good looking and make good money.

    • I am envious 😂