Give Up on Trying to Get Sex

[Calex]

Guys, Give Up on Trying to Get Sex

I know, this sounds ridiculous. I also know a lot of guys will be angry at me for this.

Now, this isn't about sex with your girlfriend or wife. Sex with a consenting partner is completely fine - hell, it's more than fine... it's encouraged!

This is about guys trying to get casual sex from taken girls or girls who are unwilling to have casual sex. This isn't entirely about sex either, it's also about asking for nude photos or photos of specific body parts (i.e. the infamous boob and booty pics). While asking for photos doesn't include sexual intercourse, it is still a sexual activity, and a tacky one at that.

Why would a guy give up on that? Well, plenty of girls report that they have their inboxes filled with nothing but random strangers asking them to show pictures of their boobs, or randomly sending pictures of their penises in hopes that the girl will get horny and initiate in a sexual conversation with you.

Guess what, guys? It doesn't work like that.

Your Behavior Isn't Sexy, It's Annoying

How many times have you sent a message asking for those things and how many times has it worked? While it does work sometimes, most of the time it won't. If you have been rejected by girls while doing this, just stop.

Bottom Line: You can't go around harassing people who are potentially unwilling to initiate in sexual activities in hopes of finding someone who is.

Don't Be a Pervert

There is harm in acting this way. It makes girls view an otherwise nice guy as "obnoxious," and makes them fear guys like you. If you're a guy like me who doesn't act this way, guys who do act this way give us a very bad reputation, and makes us feel ashamed of our gender.

Smart guys don't act this way, and they don't surround themselves with people who do. There's nothing cool, sexy, or smart about objectifying women or yourself.

Bottom Line: Nobody likes a pervert. Don't be one.

The true dictionary definition of pervert is this "a person whose sexual behavior is regarded as abnormal and unacceptable"

If you are a sexual being and enjoy having sex, that does not make you a pervert. Perverts are inappropriate and unacceptable. Perverts have a knack for taking normal daily life conversations and turning them into something sexual. I'll say this, a lot of people tend to use this word wrongly.

If you think sexual thoughts inside but do not initiate any action involving those thoughts, then you are absolutely fine! It is human and both genders do this. Asking a random girl for sex is like asking an animal for their fur. I'm sure most of you know this already, but girls do not like being seen as a sex object or a piece of meat.

Don't Put Women On a Pedestal

The reason many guys still continue doing this is because of how they were raised. Plenty of guys complain about how the bad guys get the girls, but in reality you don't have to be a bad guy, or a good guy. Dont' be a kiss-ass, just be normal/neutral towards women.

Don't be too nice where you are basically showering her with sugar, but don't be a demon either. Stand in your own shoes and don't let her control you.

We Aren't All the Same

If we were less obnoxious towards girls, maybe we would be more desirable and less threatening. It wouldn't be so bad if girls didn't judge all of us guys grouped together. Unfortunately, that's what I have to face all the time on this website, and whenever you tell anyone that not all guys are the same or I'm not like that, nobody believes us. Girls, who are especially less open minded and more bitter towards guys will say something like "Yes you are, all guys are like that! You're a liar!"

To make matters worse, guys who actually DO these obnoxious things will add the fuel to the fire by saying "So what? It's a guy thing. All men were formed this way."

Own Your Actions

I refuse to resonate with these types of men. I don't want to talk to girls with the fear that they may be scared of me or my intentions. I refuse to be a part of the same group as these men.

I hope that there are guys out there who think the same way I do. I cannot control anyone, only you can control yourselves. If you stop being so needy, you will become more likable.

[Tdieseler]

Whew... you almost lost me halfway through that perv paragraph, then i saw "Don't put women on a pedestal" regained my faith and I followed through. Sometimes i feel sorry for women because of all the idiotic guys out there who just look at women like mobile sex dolls (objects) but sometimes I don't because a lot of them like being objectified, some even force it, so i don't blame those guys for reacting that way.
The keyword I liked here was "smart". The smart guys don't act like that, and the smart women don't put themselves in that position either. All in all a good article. Puts a lot of issues out there, now the only thing I can hope for is that some of these dumb pathetic perverted guys actually read this.

[Hannah591]

This is a fab article and I'm so glad you wrote it. It's exactly everything I think when I get messages. Guys don't think as well that some girls they message have boyfriends and if their boyfriend found a dick pic in their messages, it could cause serious problems! Girls aren't needy for sex, yet they get it whenever they want. Guys are usually needy but don't get it because they put us on a pedestal and all they think about is getting laid. A lot of guys need to change up their act! I can't praise this enough!

[Guysvsgirls]

I really enjoyed this article! Thanks for posting. :-)

[YourFutureEx]

It will help people especially guys to improve their personality.

[kheserthorpe]

The only way to discourage guys from trying to get sexual interaction inappropriately is to redirect them to more appropriate and successful methods.

[Freakingthefout]

Dude, you make a point that most guys are just going to miss. That's also why they keep missing with women when they try or, if they don't, why they face a lot of female drama.

[Calex]

I'm glad we're on the same boat :D

[srslyly]

To me, "putting women on a pedestal" would include behaviors like publicly posting groveling, pussy worship articles on the internet, begging all the wimminz to realize that you're better than all the bad mans, denigrating your own sexuality, and inflating the importance of women's feelings above all else in the universe. Apparently you mean something different by it than I do. Could you please explain what it is more precisely?

[Freakingthefout]

You missed the point completely. He's not doing any "pussy worship" as you call it. He's saying by all means, have casual sex with women, but he's implying there's a better way to do it than ask for "ey bby gimmeh sum bootay"

[srslyly]

@Freakingthefout That's an interesting interpretation, in that there is absolutely no support for it anywhere in what he wrote.

[Freakingthefout]

Well the title of "give up on trying to get sex" is pretty pretty stupid I do have to agree. But the article seems to read in a different direction

[srslyly]

@Freakingthefout Right, and that direction is to try and ingratiate himself to women by complaining about the behavior of a minority of men on women's behalf, while assuring them that he isn't like those other men. He hides his obvious sycophantic ass kissing behind supposed advice for other men because he is too big of a coward to walk into even a verbal confrontation with a stranger on the internet. His attempt is exceedingly weak, and his only nugget of anything that could be considered advice is "just be normal/neutral". He hasn't even taken the time to flesh out what this means, because it doesn't matter what it means. It isn't the point. The point is that the good man, @Calex is in women's corner, opposed to the bad men, you, me, and everyone who is not @Calex.

[Freakingthefout]

"Don't be too nice where you are basically showering her with sugar, but don't be a demon either. Stand in your own shoes and don't let her control you." " If you stop being so needy, you will become more likable." I think if you view two separate "corners", a male one and a female one, you're not getting the picture right. Whoever you want to have sex with, approach them like you want to have sex with them but have some tact. I think that is the thrust of the article.

[srslyly]

@Freakingthefout I was about to pull out all of the quotes where he sets up an adversarial position between women and men with himself being the one man who doesn't engage in bad behavior. Then I realized it would just be the entire article, less the part you just quoted. But even your two quotes are meaningless. Somewhere between showering women with sugar and being a demon doesn't really suggest any specific behavior for you to follow. It's just mindless, un-thought-out crap to mask the fact that the intended audience is women. Besides, he can come back and correct me if I'm wrong, but he won't.

[Freakingthefout]

Well. It always could be I suppose. I honestly did not give it that much thought. But then I guess it all depends on what you see. There are some basic guidelines here that I think a lot of guys, from what I see, could follow. But I can also see how you may be interpreting the tone. I differ I think, because that tone would really work alright for what should be the intended demographic of this post. But whatever man

[Calex]

Alright, I'll begin by explaining that when a myTake gets featured, the GaG staff will re-write the whole article and change the images for the article to make it look more professional and fancy. I attempted to look for it in case there is a copy of the old article but I could not find it. I shared some of my personal experiences in my original article. None of my male friends are perverts and they are successful with women. Everyone is a sexual being. However, a pervert is a completely different thing. In order to be successful with women, you will have to take the step to being more likable, and that is by not doing disgusting things to women. Sex is not disgusting at all. There is a time and place for everything. The main problem is that a lot of men do this, and that's what makes them think that ALL men do this. I'll make a bad example about why women don't want this when they don't want it but I'm running out of writing space.

[Calex]

When you breathe, you will inhale and exhale. If you inhale too much, you will definitely want to exhale. If you exhale too much, you'll want to inhale. It's like this for women and sex. Now, this is a take, which means this is not a fact, but this logic makes sense to me, at least. This is why even perverts will find women who are willing to cooperate with them. Women who find themselves unattractive or don't get enough attention or compliments are more willing to inhale. On the internet, all these anonymous perverts are climbing through windows and sending private messages to a lot of women, without knowing if they are attractive or not. Women receive a lot more attention on the internet. Which makes no woman ever want to 'inhale'. It's like eating a soggy cereal when your stomach is ready to blow, and then barfing it all out. Oh, and about the "importance of women's feelings" that you mentioned.

[Calex]

People who compliment girls and shower them with love will inflate women's egos. Not giving women attention would make them want it more due to the lack of it. Unfortunately, with all these man-monkeys all over the internet, that would never be possible. Unless they stop, and start looking at themselves instead and realising their worth! If you want to be more likable, you have to like yourself first, and don't give women too much attention. I've written so much that it could pass as another article. I hope I've answered some things for you? I'm sorry if I offended anybody. Especially men.

[srslyly]

Wait a minute. You're saying that @GirlsAskGuys actually rewrites myTakes to put words in the authors' mouths? And that they changed your article from an analysis of sexually suggestive troll behavior and its fallout into an article demeaning men as a group and making you look like a pathetic suck up? I didn't think they would do that.

[Calex]

It depends on what parts you think make me look like a suck up. I don't know how to avoid not looking like a suck up either. The truth is that I am not, but there are risks of writing this article and it's not going to please everyone, in this case, most men. I'm glad that there are men who agree with me. My article tells men not to annoy women with what you want from them because it makes men not wanted themselves. Sadly, it includes men who *don't* annoy women and still get the same treatment as all men.

[Calex]

Okay, I have a question for you. Have you ever sent women private messages and asked them for naked photos or of boobs/butt? What about virtual sex? Has it worked? Tell me your experiences.

[srslyly]

It's never even occurred to me to do that.

[Calex]

Okay, that means you are smart. However, how would it feel for you if girls accused you of being a disgusting pervert by default just because you are a guy? What would happen if women were afraid to talk to you because you "look like the last guy that harassed her"? This is an article for all the guys that do this, which in my opinion is over 50% of young men. You don't do this, so that's good, it means that you don't give men a bad name, not that their reputation isn't suffering already enough as it is. Do you think that the men who do this ruin our reputation? I think that they do, because some if not many women, prefer to judge based on their past experiences.

[srslyly]

I don't think that anywhere near half of guys ask strangers on the internet for naked pictures, and the ones who do are, for the most part, trolls or socially inept outcasts. I think that a woman who bases her judgment of men generally on those guys is being patently unreasonable. Aside from that, those guys should be pitied, not feared, not hated, and not taken seriously.

[Hajar_Whitestone]

all guys in this world are the same I see you are trying to deffend something but in the end of the day you all are = looking for the same thing from girls and using the same ways.

[kingfish]

We may be "the same" in your circle but in my circle of friends, women are to be respected and honored. Appreciated for what they do and who they are. The same goes for men. Women are generally intellectually stimulating and good for advice and someone to talk to. I for one do not think that most men are needing this article, rather the minority that feels that women are adornments, "pieces of ass".

[Calex]

I'm sorry, but I believe you are wrong. You said that I am "using the same ways" as the other men. So are you telling me, a person you have never met that I send annoying messages to women asking for their naked photos? I grew up the hard way. Not everybody does, and I know what true respect is by knowing true pain.

[Calex]

@kingfish I'm thinking that there's at least 50% or more men rather than the minority, sadly. However, many 13 year olds do this and grow up to be fine men later on in lives. Which narrows that behaviour down as people mature. I think it's all about the intelligence and understanding of a man. I guess that most men think that the alpha male is "strong and stupid"

[Hajar_Whitestone]

You didn't ask me for nude pictures but you did ask me for sex ones so yeah you are like everyone else so don't act as a little honest angel here.

[Calex]

I have more if you persist with accusations.

[Hajar_Whitestone]

Excuse me? Did I said sex pictures? what trust are you talking about here? am not your best friend or even one of your close friend and Absolutely am not a liar, there is nothing in the world who would scars me till the point I'll start telling lies and yeah there is delete option for messages I mean message by message so am done here.

[Calex]

Yes, yes you did. You said: "You didn't ask me for nude pictures but you did ask me for sex ones" What else does it imply other than "You did not ask me for nude pictures but you asked me for sex pictures" I never said we are friends, but I put trust in people I talk to on a daily basis and getting to know them as a person even a bit, and that's what we did a few months ago. We talked every day for a while. If telling me straight up that I asked you for sex pictures and then later denying that you said that isn't a lie.. then I don't know what is. What else would "sex ones" mean? So it seems messages can be deleted. I didn't know that until you told me. Look through our conversation again and you will notice that I never said such thing, or anything even remotely close to it. You may be mistaking me for another guy.

[Calex]

Note: GaG staff removed my comment where I show proof in screenshots that I did not say any of these things.

[Hajar_Whitestone]

what that have to do with me am not gag moderate.

[Rcjh1987]

Everything you said was true!!!

[been_waiting]

Pervs gonna perv though. Regardless.

[abundantlyrich]

Lol good read

[Laura1995]

Good points :)

[DumpliingPrincess]

Thank you for this myTake. Bravo.
31.media.tumblr.com/.../...e_nbyyd1emU31rm9sqg.gif

[COCOCHANEL]

excellent. i am so glad to know that i am a sexual being, not a pervert.

[cagefighter1568]

Some of the points here are good. But this is for good girls. Because for every guy out there trYing to get laid, this is a woman look I no for the same. So this whole thing is article is bias. How about stick to people with the same morals as you and you won't have this problem.

[PineappleBreath]

I just don't give a shit about other people's feelings, I'm not a Damn therpist. I'll straight up admit I'm a pervert. I make a pervert/deviant divide, a deviant is someone who does illegal shit, which I don't and so I'll be fine. So as long as I feel Ok about myself I'm cool.

[Anonymous]

I totally get that you feel the need to defend women.. But on a post regarding nude photos?

That's an issue woman can deal with on their own.

I could totally understand a post on psychopath rapists who jump girls at night on their way home... That is an issue to prevent and spotlight.

But not sexualizing a convo, how do you think we guys get laid? Keeping it platonic is for platonic relationships...

[Monnymo]

Nude photos get you laid.

[Monnymo]

Don*t

[Monnymo]

Can you explain to me why guys need nude photos? Is this just a girls problem?

[Monnymo]

Telling someone not to take nude pictures is the opposite of specializing this conversation. Again nude photos don't get you laid you can have a relationship that is much more then platonic then takins nudes of woman. Getting card sluts and whores are connected to those photos many peoples minds so it is something to prevent. You say this is a woman's problem and we should take care of it ourselves? Why? How come you don't take responsibility for you act in situation. You are imbuing that your are ruining a life for your amusement without any shame.

[Monnymo]

Spellcheck. You can figure it out.

[Anonymous]

but in reality you don't have to be a bad guy, or a good guy. Dont' be a kiss-ass, just be normal/neutral towards women.

Don't be too nice where you are basically showering her with sugar, but don't be a demon either. Stand in your own shoes and don't let her control you.

Get this in your heads, hearts and penises, guys.

[PhiOmega]

I'm more inclined towards romanticism and story telling i guess, but i don't think these are things to teach "do this... Don't do that" I think you should be yourself, and hopefully love will smile on you with a partner, a kindred soul