Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
There is an indisputable truth: sex is the engine that drives intimate relationships. When the sex is good the relationship is very likely good. Thermonuclear sex puts all those minor annoyances into perspective and greases the relational skids.
For a couple to enter into a lifelong commitment to an intimate relationship without knowing for certain that the sex works is absolutely foolhardy. I'm a man of considerable faith but I also believe the proscriptions in biblical times against premarital sex derived from the lack of reliable birth control and scientific paternity determination. That's why being considered Jewish by birth derives from the mother's faith: everyone knows who someone's mother is. Illegitimate children were a major problem in the eyes of the patriarchs of the time so they made the rule: no sex before marriage.
For someone to buy a car with a lifetime commitment without a test drive is ultimately stupid on its face. The new University of Phoenix commercial is right on point: Drive before you buy. I feel it's just prudent and wise to find out if you're sexually compatible with your partner before you marry them. While St. Paul may have written beautifully about love, it doesn't not understand all. Romantic love is based largely on the presence of satisfying sex. There is such a thing a really bad sex. There are also innumerable hang ups, fetishes, and proclivities that surround sex. Therefore, get to know your prospective partner sexually before saying I do for LIFE!
I'm not advocating casual or irresponsible sex. I'm just saying it's something that one needs some knowledge of vis a vis a partner before committing to a permanent relationship
What Girls & Guys Said
34 28I read 3 lines and decided that this was just another post full of crap, if you seriously want to screw up your relationships then do it but please, don't even try to justify it.
Thank you for your encouraging and open minded words. I'm sure that will encourage all those maidens out there to tighten up their chastity belts.
And saving your virginity for your spouse is bad how? Never have I heard a couple that I personally know say that waiting until marriage was a bad choice, in the contrary I've heard a lot of positiveness about that. I don't know if you've been through something or if you just have a twisted view of sex but either way I don't think you really know what you are talking about. Have a nice day though!
To each his own. Happy new year.
Happy New year to you as well!
Thank you for speaking my mind! Ugh! Can't imagine going into a long-term committed relationship only to sunder when I find out the sex is horrible.
Thanks for your support. I thought this Take might generate some interest but it's gone far beyond that.
People are too selfish these days. All they care about is "what will I get out of sex with this man/woman?" People should be selfless and giving. If both people do that, then how can they be incompatible?
Oh! Let me count the ways... Sex is a very complicated beast and there are so many ways for a pair to go wrong, it defies numerating.
Because almost nobody is actually that selfless and giving. Because what most people crave, sexually, is not just someone who will do XYZ, it's someone who is as excited as they are about XYZ. If someone wants to be dominated, most people out there who aren't into it will barely do it, if at all. Those who will but aren't into it, it won't be the same. They need someone who WANTS to dominate them. That's just one example. Someone who wants to have sex daily doesn't just want a partner who will say 'okay' daily (which is rare!). They want someone who is horny every day too. And that's all assuming people are being selfless and giving, which in this context is incredibly rare. Most people seem to feel used and put off having sex significantly more than they like, and most people seem fairly unable to genuinely get into things their partner is into but they're not.
I certainly enjoyed it.
there is more to life than sex dude..
I prefer to marry a virgin woman.
what if your partner isn't comfortable having sex?
Then they aren't much of a prospect from where I sit...
nope you are retarded, NOBODY TAKE THIS MAN'S ADVICE
you can know everything you need to know about sexual compatibility without having sex with the person it's called trust and intimate conversations
Retarded? Talk about offensive. BLOCKED!!
God will give you the perfect partner you said you have a faith
Then have faith in god that he is giving the perfect women or man to satisfy your need
Hahahah
@Cammy137 Don’t be a dick and if your gonna be so it somewhere else
God sent me to do that
God doesn't care who you marry. He's a self limiting God who doesn't interfere directly in the affairs of the world.
I don't want my love life be testing sex
Reading the title that was not what I had expected, I am inclined to agree with your point actually. I certainly don't agree with a lot of societies ideas on sex (FWB, one night stands, and the like) I suppose that sleeping with a fiancé rather than waiting till the wedding night makes sense.
What a wrong with being a virgin?
Not a thing. We're all born that way. This conversation is on the advisability of staying one until marriage.
The car test analogy works with personality compatibility. There is no such thing as personality in sex, and thus no compatibility bullshit.
In a relationship, sex is a PERK. Not the core of the relationship. You don't avoid buying a car which passed the test of your standards just because you didn't like the free detachable pillow.
This is staggeringly wrong. People absolutely have personality in sex. And it's a perk? For you, maybe. For some people, certainly. For most people? Sex is a core part of a monogamous relationship, just as much as being faithful is. You can't act like having sex isn't important, but not having sex with other people is critically important. Sex matters a LOT in monogamy.
It has been my significant albeit limited experience that women have preferences and very often have buried kinks that, when given a chance to flourish, blossom in to full blown and extremely happy submissive masochists. As my esteemed co member @kheserthorpe indicated, sex is central to most intimate relationships. If not for you, so be it but for most, it's a major part of the relationship.
Actually no, i am the type of person who will keep a relationship solid regardless of sex whereas you people will be the one who will go sleep with someone else just because your significant other isn't satisfying you in bed.
wow... no
of course a guy wrote this. lol you dont care about anything you just wanna get laid and you'll tell girls what the hell ever just so theyd give it up easier
im not losing my virginity for some loser who won't even commit himself to me and has to try EVERYTHING before he makes a move... whatever
my virginity is something i will NEVER get back, and i will remember the day i lose for porbably the rest of my life, you damn right it has to be worth it and the guy also HAS to be worth it. it might not mean much to you as a guy but it means the world to girls and we are more emotionally connected to our bodies than boys, these things leave a bigger impact... so yea, no to your entire article, i have enough scars already. not gonna make another one if i can help it
oh and by the way i wouldn't push "giving it up easily" on girls, yes guys wanna get laid as easily and quickly as possible but trust me its not gonna feel the same as it would if you had to work for it and earn it
and fyi virgins are more open to trying new things (i am at least) because im not sure what i would like so yea im 100% open to trying anything... as long as it is harmless of course
A most interesting comment. I'll answer in the general and leave all the specifics to you. My point was that waiting for marriage to have sex has a significant risk associated with it and that people should factor that risk into any decisions surrounding that relationship. That you want to wait for a man who is committed to you makes perfect sense. That I'm just trying to get laid is a personal affront and I find it beneath you. I get laid plenty, thank you very much, and I don't pressure virgins.
thanks lol and sorry for sounding angry lol... not my day today of course there is a bit of risk but like i said virgins most likely haven't tries anything so there minds are not set on something specific that they want to do and they will just work with the guy... i think it makes the chances of being sexually incompatible way lower and if the two of them are virgins meh it might be a little tricky the first few times but they will learn together making it more intimate and also making them sexually compatible... and a bit more comfortable lol and about the getting laid part, im not talking about you specifically but all these articles about why girls should lose it and why sex on even the first date is somehow a great idea and people calling for women to get naked labelling it as "freedom" and "empowerment" and the endless amount of stuff on how your virginity (boy or girl) is absolutely NOTHING and it means NOTHING...
... and people believe it then go out have sex then cry a life time about it. lol im not saying that a girl's virginity is a gift to the world and that its a gold mine... etc but it is something huge to the girl thats why we save ourselves lol not because we think we are God's gift to the world lol
Thanks for your note. I guess I bring my own perspective to this: I'm really kinky. I'm into spanking, light bondage, role play sex, rough nipple play and all things anal except scat. She might well think she'd enjoy all those things but if she's not compatibly kinky, she'll find a lot of it revolting. I can't be with someone without it. Now what? Just a rhetorical question.
Oh, I think a lot of women think they're God's gift. We call them princesses and I raised one, by design, so she'd have very high expectations of the men in her life. It worked. She's married a really great guy and have given me my first grandchild, a lovely little girl. I appreciate your close connection to your body and your need to forgo sex. I suspect that when you meet Mr. Right and he starts pushing all the right buttons, you won't be able to give it up fast enough and I seriously doubt you'll have a ring at the time though there's a very high likelihood you will before long.
remember your first time? how EVERY tiny thing felt incredibly good and you loved every second of it even though its just a bj or something that is not super "creative" ? thats probably how she would feel lol yea shed be scared at first... but she will most probably like it anyway, because its the only sexual thing her brain and her body have experienced lol to each his own anyway lol
oh didn't see your comment lol haha glad to hear it. but woul you like it if she read this article and gave it up too soon? i doubt that nah ;) unlikely lol my buttons will be pushed before the ring lol
I suppose you've got good points... But, what if someone's definition of losing virginity doesn't have to necessarily have anything to do with PIV? www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a7264-a-strange-definition-of-losing-virginity
A most interesting Take on the subject. I was operating under the traditional definition but was actually referring more to the full spectrum of things sexual.
xD Thanks. And I agree with your point that people should be very familiar with each other, before getting married!
Good work Austinman, I really look forward to reading your take on anal sex lol
I'll be interested in any feedback. That was one of my very early Takes and if it needs polishing, I'll be glad to hear about it.
This is basically virgin shaming. Nooo we dont want to become like the rest of you who have given it up before marriage!! Is that alright to say or will i get punished? And there's absolutely nothing you or the media will do to influence me. At least we value the sacredness of sex and dont give it up to 25+ partners or in one night stands. Virgins have a lot of dignity and i respect that. I dont give a fuck if i get down votes i just know it'll be the non-virgins doing it.
This isn't virgin shaming at all. It's just suggesting sexual compatibility between you and your partner.
oh yea tell me this why dont i ever hear articles on staying a virgin? huh. Stop trying to fucking convince us to change our ways when we clearly dont want to. Let us be. You dont need to have sex to have a successful relationship but not once do you ever hear that. This world is way over sexualised as it is and this stupid article is just adding to it. Stop trying to throw us your stupid propaganda we want to do it the right way get married and lose our virginity to the love of our life not give up sex to 30+ partners like many people do.
Keeping your virginity is having self respect
I agree. My fiancee and I are both Catholic (gasp) and virgins in our 30s (oh, the HORROR!). I don't regret waiting, because I can tell that she adores me, and I adore her. I honestly wish I knew LESS about sex than I do, because I feel like a pervert compared to how innocent-minded she is.
@playdatesx He said that virgins who wait until marriage are foolhardy and stupid. That sounds like virgin-shaming to me.
@Anno_Domini, you're right. My apologies. My intent was just to make the point that there is a lot of risk to entering into a lifetime commitment without full disclosure and that only comes from having sex together. It's an individual decision and I respect everyone's opinion, save maybe the anon thrash mouth who started this thread.
aaaa... guy's virginity doesn't have any value.
Yeah give your v card and if the guy was faking a whole relationship to get it in... You end up alone and lose your dignity... Heck no... He can wait
We can all be fooled but if she is careful and does her due diligence, then she can mitigate the risk and know that while there's still a little risk, that if it crashes, he's the ass and her dignity is intact because she acted in good faith with research aforethought.
I concur, girl. Probably best to set that aside for the Ultimate Guy.
I love how so many people down voted this, show where current social morals stand...
Not at all true! Love and sex are not the same. Sex has little to do with the state of a relationship. During the early to mid 20s, when birth control was virtually non-existent, pre martial sex was not as common and relationships were still healthy.
I see this as an attempt to "shame" male virgins into becoming more social, even though the vast majority of serial killers were far from virgins.
Excuse me!!! I was fine until the serial killer crap. One nice thing about life is that we're entitled to our opinions so you're welcome to yours. We'll just agree to disagree.
Ted Bundy and Dahmer were both married as were most of their kind throughout the past century, but now one or two young shooters have somehow convinced the population that sex is necessary to prevent shootings. My opinion is that sex doesn't correlate with shootings. Rodger and Lanza may have still killed people even if they had sex.
"The vast majority of serial killers were far from virgins." Let's reconsider... you heard of Elliot Rodger? Postal guy who shot multiple women before killing himself? Oh wait, OP beat me to that one. :) Yeah.
I mentioned him in my last post. If he had a gf, he might've killed her if she broke up with him, even if he had sex. Virginity wasn't his objective. I repeat: Sex and shootings do not correlate, unless we live in a society where pre-martial sex is outlawed (Saudi Arabia) by the govt. However, on an individual basis, being a virgin doesn't make a person any more dangerous. Most rape victims are actually former partners/wives, not acquaintances whom lonely men never had sex with.