"Gotta Keep Em Cummin"... Sex Jokes

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Yep, I'm "at it again".... Kinda like the Energizer Bunny of sex joke takes 🤣

Ready to get your laugh on?....

ROSES ARE RED, LEMONS ARE SOUR. OPEN YOUR LEGS AND GIVE ME AN HOUR....

How are shark eggs and your mam the same?

They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
Why is baby shampoo the best anal lube?

No more tears.

A little girl goes to see Santa Claus at the local shopping mall. When she arrives and sits down on Santa's lap Santa asks "What do you want for Christmas little girl?".

I want a Barbie and a GI Joe" says the little girl.

"But Barbie comes with Ken" Santa says,

No, Barbie only 'cums' with GI Joe!"

Powerball

Wouldn’t it be funny if the woman on TV pulled out a strand of anal beads from behind and said “And the winning powerball numbers are....”

What is the Hip-hop industry's favourite sex toy?

Beads by Dre.

Who is the greatest?

A BOOB, a VAGINA and an ASSHOLE are debating as to who is the greatest of them all.

BOOB: I give milk to new born babies and I'm attractive to the opposite sex, that's why I'm the greatest.

VAGINA: that's nothing. I give birth to babies and I accommodate the opposite sex, that's why I'm the greatest.

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Why are you scrolling down? It's your turn to speak!🤣🤣

A boy takes his girlfriend home after going out together.

When they reach the front door, he leans against the wall with one hand and says, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"

"What? You're crazy!"

"Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem."

"No!! Someone may see – a relative, a neighbor ..."

"At this time of the night? No one will show up ..."

"I've already said No, and NO!"

"Honey, it's just a small blowie ... I know you'd like it, too ..."

"No! I've said NO!"

"My love ... Don't be like that ..."

At this moment, the girlfriend's younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown with her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes, she says, "Dad says either you have to blow him, I have to blow him, or he will come down and give the guy a blowjob himself, but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom!""

A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing.

"Damn, that was stupid," she thought as she fell. "What a way to die."

As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms. While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?"

"No!" she shrieked, aghast.

So, he dropped her. As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her.

"Do you screw?" he asked.

"Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself. He dropped her, too.

The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor.

"I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic

"Slut"! he said and dropped her

Hope you enjoyed the jokes... And, for all you that think I got a dirty mind....

Takes one to know one 😉😉

Thanks for reading, cum again soon..

"Brainsbeforebeauty"♥️😘

[allenwants2]

How many califorians does it take 2 screw in a light bulb

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

How many?

[allenwants2]

Every body knows califorians screw in hot tubs

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣🤣

[nudeNhorny]

Funny jokes, keep them cumming... and us too 😅

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣 lolol thanks 🙂

[nudeNhorny]

😜😄😇

[henlousers]

Asking for a blowjob on the inter'cum'? 🤫

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣 hahahaha that's funny 👍🤣

[msc545]

Funny mytake - thanks!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🙂 thanks 💙

[the_sinner]

Nice jokes B!!
Hope you cumm back with more Lol😂😂

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Can always cum with more 🤣🤣

[the_sinner]

I'll wait for you to cum... back with more jokes 😂

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lmao 👍👍🤣

[mrgspoter]

Yea that's what she said but I don't think she got it.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣🤣

[mrgspoter]

Didn't even remember her own name for a bit, I did warn lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Damn that was good shit then 🤣🤣

[mrgspoter]

Oh it's normal as far as I'm concerned anyways, they become like junkys if I'm not careful it's a rocky road.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Hahaha 😂

[mrgspoter]

But 🤫 it's a secret..

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Okay 🤐I won't tell anybody 😅

[mrgspoter]

Thnx 🙄

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

😅🤣🤣 sure! No problem 🙂😅

[Nayyr]

Didn't laugh

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Okay 🤷🏼‍♀️

[cjgsu]

@nayyr what I tell u bout acting up😡

[Nayyr]

I laughed while writing didn't laugh

[cjgsu]

@nayyr better

[ManMale]

What is long and stinky?
the unemployment line

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣 but probably true lol

[ManMale]

LOL. Not these days due to Covid !

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Oh yeah that's true

[KingChris08]

Lol these are funny

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lol thanks 🙂

[sexopat31]

Cummmmm.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣

[sexopat31]

Hahaha :) I love it.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks 😅

[sexopat31]

U are welcome :*.

[snakeeye]

Awesome

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks

[parkjlee]

Lol awesome 👏

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks 🙂