Sexual Relationships
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Guy I'm dating went limp first time hooking up?

Okay last night was a what the fk night. I really like this guy that I've been dating for a few weeks n last night I decided "what the heck" I'll just give him what he wants (actually hoping he'll like it and want exclusivity, horrible I know). He's a real sweet guy though, holds doors open, pays for me, gives me his undivided attention and we laugh a lot together. But when I asked him if he had a condom I guess he went limp or something cos he didn't have one but I'm on birth control so I didn't really care. He had trouble getting back up, but I was able to with my amazing head skills. Then as I'm really tiny from being asian, he straight up told me he's not gonna last long cos I'm so tight. Then when he asks me to go on top, I hop off and he instantly goes limp. I'm so embarrassed, this happens to me sometimes when even though I'm tight and guys say it, they just go limp. Guys, what is going on :(
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Most Helpful Guys

  • This is a problem with women, you think all of us men can keep an erection up 24/7 just because a few teenage perverts with too much testosterone can. Maybe when I was 14 I could have done that, but I'm 26 now, and I'm willing to bet most men past their mid twenties lose erections like that. Like a lot of other users said, nervousness is probably the main reason. Being tired, or drunk, can also make it harder. Women need to let men decide when to have sex in my opinion, because we're the ones that have to keep an erection. If you're not in the mood, you can still lay there and take it. But we HAVE to be in the mood just to get it in.

    • Very true. Birth control however leaves me as dry as the Sahara after sex for a couple of minutes unless I'm really turned on :/

  • A tight sexy Asian girl mmmmm we'll the thought of that and I'm hard thinking about it (not meaning to gross u out) just making a point. I have only 2 things to say, either he is so excited and just couldn't believe his luck he didn't want to fail and put to much pressure in himself to perform and that caused nerves to kick in and went soft, or the guy is gay! Sorry

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Happens all the time. Don't worry about it- he's probably just nervous. The first time is always awkward.

    Also, if he was drinking, that can cause it too. Go at it sober.

    Best thing you can do now if you're interested in pursuing the relationship is to not worry about it. Show him you're into him and you're excited for round two.

  • It happens to most guys. Happen to me before and it sucked cause I was looking forward to it but got too drunk and got nervous when he "my penis" started acting soft. Lol this happened to me with a couple girls but I get rock hard the next times she let me hit

  • its normal man, when you take of the stimulation its like a ticking time bomb it straight away goes down just for some guys it goes down slower or faster than others.

  • The Melty Man!!

    NOOOOOOOOOOO!

    LOL!

    Happens to any guy that gets nervous and starts thinking "how awful would it be if I lost my erection".

    We call it "over thinking it."

    • this is a common thing? i've had the same thing happen to me as this chick

    • It's more common than guys like to admit. The BBC sitcom Coupling did an awesomely funny episode about the melty man. Happened to me my first time. I was embarrassed as fuck until she fixed my problem with a BJ. Game on!

    • oh my xD yeah he was pretty embarrassed and was saying "I know you're judging me!" but instead I said it's happened before (which it has but the guy was just hot or on drugs, yah whatever bad i know). jus tryna be mature about it you know. if anything i'm the one who felt shitty even tho i knew it wasn't me cos i was really looking forward to the sex, he was really big :(

  • Flat tires can happen.
    If the guy is tired, drunk, high, nervous or distracted, he can lose it.
    Don't take it personally.
    Sex is a complex series of events, and all cylinders have to be working.

  • Tell him to take the blue one.. that'll help ;)

  • Sounds like your guy is nervous.

    Take it as a compliment! He obviously finds you too hot to deal with!

    I only ever get this issue if I really really like the girl and feel like I have to impress, too much pressure.

  • my wife is Asian and tight but I dont go limp, I think he was just nervous.

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