Guy I'm sleeping with gave me an STI, what do I do?

I reconnected with a guy I knew years ago, and we jumped straight into having sex when we met again, and lots of it. I had just gotten out of an LTR and haven't been with anyone since my ex, who I was with for four years. A week or so ago I start feeling itchy, and low and behold the guy texts me on Monday saying he has symptoms and his friend pharmacist says he has gonorrhea and that he gave him medicine for it. I went to the doctor to get tested, but will wait over a week to get my results. Two days before he told me, we had sex for 3 hours, and we always had unprotected sex - so there's a 100% chance I have it too.

I know it was stupid, but I also can't be mad or point fingers because it was half my choice to have unprotected sex. I'm positive it was him who gave it to me because he gets around a lot more, and because my relationship situation I wasn't sleeping around, but I also can't point fingers because who knows if my ex had it and it flared up with this guy (doubt it though).

Now I'm not sure what to think, because before this the guy seemed to be a bit less forward/interested, pursuing me less than he had initially. I'm in my head swearing he's seeing other girls, but I guess he can't sleep with them this week anyway. He texted me on Monday to tell me the news, and we had a normal conversation saying Id go to the doctor and we should both get tested for everything, but I haven't heard from him since. I'm not sure if it's because we are just hooking up, so he doesn't see the point in texting me if we can't have sex, but it makes me feel really bad because I've seen his interest dwindle a bit, and I thought we had a connection, which he also told me. He said he told me things he's never told anyone, and we had some intimate/close moments non-sexually too, hanging out for 12 hours straight every time and consistently too (lots of sex but also good conversations) I'm basically disappearing, but I don't know what to think about him not messaging me all week?

0 2

Superb Opinion

  • Well it sounds to me like he didn't know either until he got tested. So I don't know if i can blame him all that much. He's probably just as mad as you are at the girl that gave it to him. you're not in a committed relationship either if i read you right so he's not obligated to only have sex with you. It sucks but that's just one of the risks you accept when you have unprotected sex.

    Don't get me wrong. I am absolutely not bashing unprotected sex. I personally will not have sex with a condom. The lack of sensation just kills my boner so there's just no point. But that means I have to be careful about who I choose to have sex with and so far, I have never once had an STD. So I must be doing something right.

    And the good news is, if it is in fact Gonorrhea, it's totally curable. you'll be right as rain in no time. and so will he as long as you both take the proper treatments. and even better news, once that's all cleared up you can go back to banging all the time.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm going to try something new with answering this question. Rather than giving you my opinion up front and direct, let's run through the facts.

    • You reconnected with someone from your past.
    • You had unprotected sex with him multiple times.
    • He got himself checked afterwards, found out that he has gonorrhea and had enough maturity and consideration for you as a person that he promptly told you.
    • Gonorrhea is easily treated and cured.

    So we have a mistake that led to a very light consequence. And when a problem came up, you see that the guy you hooked up with behaved like an adult and treated you with dignity.

    This might just be my dude brain "dude braining," but this situation sounds like a fairly small situation when you got to see that someone's true colors were actually kind of good for a change.

    As for what you should do... take those antibiotics, for sure, but I would give some serious thought to keeping a guy like him around.

Most Helpful Girls

  • At least he told you and you can get on meds before symptoms present themselves. You took a risk without asking for tests. Learn from it and protect yourself from here out.

  • get to a sexual health clinic pronto before it spreads gets worse u end up not well hun get there quick its a important problem

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 19
  • So, you don't even have your test results and you are saying you have an STI? Why would you do that?
    You gave it up for free, so you won't likely have any sort of relationship with the guy...

  • Is this the same guy you were talking about before who sent his buddy the text about getting rid of you? Well, I hate to give it to you hard (pardon the pun) but you fucked around and found out. I tried to tell you the guy was not worth keeping and he's only using you for sex. I'm about 99% sure your suspicion of him getting around is true.

    Guys like that will never ever respect you or any other woman seriously. They will just say nice, sweet things to keep you latched on and make you think there could be nothing more, but they have no true interest in who you are as a person. I've known women friends in real life in the exact same situation as yours with guys like him, and just about none of them ended well or with them being in a serious relationship with them.

    But. No amount of me or anyone else telling you wiser will make you be wise.

  • Most important thing is to get treated, and you seem to be doing that.

    As far as a relationship with him goes, he is probably assuming that you want nothing to do with him, which may not be correct. Talk with him and tell him exactly how you feel about this. His reaction should guide you as to what you do (or don't do) next. Best of luck!

    • I didn't get angry when he texted me, I just asked some clarifying questions and said I want him to get fully tested too and we both agreed. It wasn't hostile at all, but since then he hasn't reached out to me again, and it's hard for me not to feel really bad about it because he went from texting me every day/every other day saying he misses me etc, to just radio silence, and I don't know if it's just because he can't fuck me so he has no interest in speaking if there's no sex involved, which makes me feel like shit.

  • Well guilt if he gave it to you and annoyance if you gave it to him would probably reduce communications.

    Gonorrhea symptoms are probably not the best conversation topic

  • Realize you were just sex? That the dude fucks around. You made a dumb decision by constantly not using a condom and learn from the situation

  • You pays your money and you take your chances

  • u gotta sue him

  • That sucks. And that's why I'm a single pringle in some aspects

    • I fear germs lol 😆

  • It depends if he knowingly gave it to him and if so if it can be proven. You obviously need to get it treated. I don't know the laws in your country but here in the UK it is a crime to knowingly infect someone with an STI

  • you can absolutely be mad and point fingers. it's like if you are a store owner, you should "probably" lock your store at night so it doesn't get robbed. but that doesn't mean robbing your store is ok. same with stds. you should be carefull to avoid them but one still doesn't have the right to fuck you, giving you an std without informing you that they have one.

    like yes it is stupid and careless to just trust a person and have sex with them immediately. but that doesn't make the thing he did ok. being stupid and careless is morally not wrong. giving someone an std isn't.

    • is***

  • Okay when your test results come in, you tell him. Cut things off immediately and get your treatment.
    Learn from this and stop acting without thinking. Put an end to casual sex because you knew he was filthy if gets around and having unprotected sex

  • Be happy if it's ONLY gonorrhea, and dump the guy.

  • Buh bye! Adios! Have a xxxxx life!

  • This post is an excellent example of roast beef energy.

  • Make better choices

  • He's out banging the chick who gave him the STI, don't worry, he will circle back to you.

  • Sue him

  • use some brain and go to doctor.

  • Stop sleeping with him

  • Make better choices.

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