I ended up falling into a club drunk about a week ago and ended up talking to a really fine chick. We hit it off right. ended our night with a hug and that was it. next day I find out that this totally out of my league girl is my good friends ex that he dated for 4 months. him and I are military and you know the deal basically. I told him about my night with her and he said he respected me more for not going behind his back and sleeping with her in the future. now this dude hardly even looks at me, yet he has given me the go ahead to see this girl. I've been out two other times with this women. My next time out - this girl and I plan to make her bed break... Am I about to break Guy Code by fucking my friends ex that he broke up with?
Yes
Vote A
No
Vote B
Hit it and Say I never did it?
Vote C
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Most Helpful Guys
Ahmed_FahmyXper 4
+1 y
he has given you the go ahead... if you like that girl then keep going and of course him feeling weird about it is normal thing I mean put yourself at his shoes and see how weird would it feel... he has every right to feel not cool with that and its normal response but dont worry you came clear with him you haven't broken any codes... he's probably avoiding talking to you coz he doesn't wanna talk about her and its making him uncomfort
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Dudeman1234Xper 7
+1 y
If it was his current wife or girlfriend you'd be ducking up. He gave you the green so you give her the D.
Real bros don't care about EXs only their next targets.
0300
hahahmm
+1 y
Best case is: here's my hot ex's phone number, what's your hot ex's number? Lol. Even if I have feelings for an ex I'd want her to be happy not trying to limit who can be with her.
Most Helpful Girls
Wonderer89Master
+1 y
He gave you the go ahead, and it's not really an "ex" in my eyes as they only dated for 4 months. 4 years is another story but here I see no issue plus he said it was fine.
Go forth and bang
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Anonymous
+1 y
Give him a chance to see if he wants to hit it one last time. If he doesn't, then go for it. He gave his okay, you gave him a grace period, if he doesn't then slam then you're good.
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Anonymous
+1 y
They are not together. She is an ex. She can chose who she pleases. If it is you, then go for it. You are both free agents.
0001
godfatherfan
+1 y
Unfortunately, women do things like that. Bro code will not allow him to see her unless he gets the ok from the guy. Even if a guy calls a woman she is off limits without that guys ok. So if I am with friends and I see a hot woman and I say 'She is mine", then none of my friends can ask her out unless I say ok. Even if she has no desire to go out with me, she is off limits. Of course that is only if they are true friends.
Opinion Owner
+1 y
@godfatherfan This other guy does NOT own her. She can do what the fuck she likes. What you are saying is once some girl has dated this guy, even if she is girl number 10, that all 10 are off limits to his mate? That is the biggest control freak out there. If it were me, I would tell this guy to naff off and, as an ex, do NOT try to influence MY life!
godfatherfan
+1 y
lol... I am simply telling you how Bro Code works. Yes, exactly, all 10 are off limits to the guys that are true friends. Now, if they really are friends, usually a guy will give the ok unless there are specific reasons not to. I once dated a woman and the date when horrible. My best friend liked her, I knew she liked him. I told him to go for it and they dated like 3 years. You might not like it but bro code has been in place long before you were born and most guys will abide by it. Of course this only goes from guys that are true friends.
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hellionthesagereborn
+1 y
No one is saying what the girl can and cannot do. he is asking would it be okay for him to go through with this as it may cause uncessary drama and ruin a friendship if this guy has feelings for her (as if they do get into a relationship and they are friends then this girl will inevitably be coming along and thus the guy will be forced to interact with an ex). Its about being polite and respecting your friends, it has nothing to do with her not being allowed to do what she wants. Men care about their friendships more then women do, we work with these people hang out with them etc. so we don't want that destroyed over a woman who may or may not stick around. Its prioritization, its why guys friendships tend to be far more harmonious and longer lasting then womens.
Opinion Owner
+1 y
@godfatherfan Got to be in US! Does not happen in UK. It seems like a game little boys play.
Opinion Owner
+1 y
Thank you for MHO.
Asker
+1 y
Thank you all as well. It all honestly helped to form a solid decision.
SarahsSummerMaster
+1 y
How is it breaking any code if he's "given the go ahead to see this girl"?
0100
ken718
+1 y
He obviously is just saying that shit to act like he doesn't care... duhh
SarahsSummer
+1 y
@ken718 I thought guys were more straight forward than what you're saying.
ken718
+1 y
Not with close friends and we hide our emotions to seem like bitches so if we say we don't care most of the time we do were just not gonna admit it we're stubborn
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ken718
+1 y
^ not after seem lol
SarahsSummer
+1 y
@ken718 well then that would be his problem not the guy who was upfront about being interested in the girl.
brain5000
+1 y
It appears he has continued to pretend not to care up to this point, seeing as he doesn't talk to you anymore, and he'll continue to pretend not to care after you fuck her. I don't know - if you ask a guy if he cares and he says "go ahead," you have permission, even if he's not thrilled about it. A deal is a deal.
ken718
+1 y
Your missing the point its not about whose being upfront you don't fuck your friends ex's its not cool at all its sleezy would you fuck your bestfriends ex even if permitted?
SarahsSummer
+1 y
@brain5000 yeah, that's what I'd think. No "bro code" breakage there.
SarahsSummer
+1 y
@ken718 k. Bye bye.
brain5000
+1 y
@ken718 I understand your point. It seems more "tough and manly" to face up to your feelings and tell your friend "no" than it does to pretend it is okay. Pretending anything seems cowardly to me.
brain5000
+1 y
I get that you guys are military and you aren't cowards. I respect that military thing and thank you for your service. It is just the cognitive dissonance of being courageous in one way and not courageous in other parts of your life.
brain5000
+1 y
If "it's not okay to fuck your friend's ex" is a rule, assert the rule. #manup
SarahsSummer
+1 y
@brain5000 here here!
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What Girls & Guys Said
329
CarpXXper 5
+1 y
Don't know about bro code (I mean, we all say that there is one, but has anyone actually seen the full set of rules?), but he may honestly (as your bro) want you to enjoy being with this girl and yet can't actually handle the thought of it. Perhaps, he'll get over it; perhaps, not. Checking in with him and getting the OK, at least means that you aren't going behind his back.
0000
torkenGuru
+1 y
Guy code is made up.
Also, tbh, if I didn't want a friend to be with an ex, I'd be pissed enough that he took a girl out for 2 dates, that would matter just as much to me as sex.
0001
hellionthesagerebornGuru
+1 y
I would run it by him one last time, since its only four months its not really a big deal comparative if it was a few years so I doubt he is just giving you the ok to try and be civil, he probably really doesn't care BUT just to be sure give him one last chance to change his mind then go for it.
0000
hahahmmMaster
+1 y
Bro code is what guys who want to get with YOUR girlfriend behind your back are always talking about to sucker you into trusting them. Bro code is BS.
0001
lacorine197
+1 y
Looks like someone had a shitty friend :D
hahahmm
+1 y
Oh yeah... look at life in general. Do rich guys follow the same rules/laws as poor and middle class? Nope. Life is full of games and scams.
lacorine197
+1 y
True, but the percentage of your real friend doing that behind your back compared to rich people stealing from you is more of rich people stealing from you type thing.
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hahahmm
+1 y
Most friends are not real friends. You'll see.
lacorine197
+1 y
I have real friends, 2, and then the all are acquaintances, so you are wrong sir.
hahahmm
+1 y
Report back when you are like mid 30s but good luck and hopefully they are real.
lacorine197
+1 y
Of course man, only 10 years to go! haha
godfatherfanGuru
+1 y
He gave you the ok. That is all you need. If he is pissed about it he should take it back. Otherwise your in the clear.
0100
Telekinetic-PotatoGuru
+1 y
Dude, that's his ex. Fuck the shit out of her haha
0000
SweepthelegjonnyXper 7
+1 y
Four months ain't shit! she's your now
0000
myth0sfreakXper 5
+1 y
He gave you the okay to see her. He did not give the okay to sleep with her. Ask him if you can take it a step further. It may be weird, but it will remain upheld.
0000
Barrabus_the_FreeYoda
+1 y
No. He gave you the green light (you said "he has given me the go ahead to see this girl"), so there's no problem.
0000
stellarvoreXper 4
+1 y
He told you it was cool. Go for it, and keep the details of you and her to yourself.
0100
BeerFartsYoda
+1 y
Nah, he broke up with her and even though he's emo about it, he gave you the go-ahead to see her.
Given those circumstances, I don't think you're breaking the bro code but things between you and your friend will be awkward for awhile.
0000
Chico_brahYoda
+1 y
If he gave you the go ahead then fuck her brains out.
0100
GusHSXper 5
+1 y
He gave you the go ahead to see the girl but he' hardly even looking you in the eyes. I wonder what that means lol
0000
KaaarinaaaXper 5
+1 y
When he gave you his oke, than you can sleep with her
0000
Browneye57Master
+1 y
No. They are no longer together. All best are off. If he has a problem with it then it's HIS problem.
0001
ThePagalXper 4
+1 y
Does the girl's choice matter?
1002
altair212
+1 y
no why would it
Barrabus_the_Free
+1 y
What? No! And that has nothing to do with the question.
altair212
+1 y
@Barrabus_the_Free lmfao i can't stop laughing because of how random this opinion is
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Barrabus_the_Free
+1 y
@altair212 Simps gonna simp. Only a simp would bring that kind of question as a response to the question that was actually asked. That's like if someone asked about a check engine light in their car, and some yahoo responded with something like "Does a bicycle need a clock?"
ThePagal
+1 y
Thank you sire for opening my eyes. I feel enlightened.
TacosRAwesomeMaster
+1 y
If you told him and he said its fine, its fine.
0000
Iraqveteran666Explorer
+1 y
No permission was granted.
0000
ken718Xper 7
+1 y
Yeah yo thats fucked up you don't fuck your friends ex's i would say go ahead so it seems I don't care but the fact that you are military bros and are expected to take a bullet for one another but are willing to do this is shady as fuck I wouldn't look at you either no honor in this shit
0010
Barrabus_the_Free
+1 y
Other dude gave him the greenlight.
ken718
+1 y
But acts like a hoe when you see him maybe he was testing you...
Barrabus_the_Free
+1 y
Hmm. You have a point. That whole bit about "now this dude hardly even looks at me" makes me wonder what's going through that guy's mind. Still, he gave the asker the green light. If he's bothered by it, he could just say "I would prefer if you didn't" and leave it at that. No further explanation necessary.
DiegoOGuru
+1 y
If he has no feelings for her and.. I would rather avoid having anything with a friends ex. You have no idea what might still taking place between them.
0000
Walrus_auYoda
+1 y
did you say he had given you the go-ahead? or that he wasn't happy with the idea?
My thoughts are that him and her broke up so it's now not really his business. But that does tread on others feelings a bit and can get sticky.
0000
lord_chilledYoda
+1 y
You said he gave you the signal to go ahead, right? If you are unsure , just ask him again. But i dont think you are breaking the code
0100
DizzyAsterExplorer
+1 y
Bro code has an exception for true love. Go for it.
0002
MangoB83Xper 6
+1 y
She's your friends ex. Just ask yourself if you would mind if he did the same thing to you.
0000
User92Explorer
+1 y
No your not
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MakingMeHiiiighXper 7
+1 y
She's his ex, if he's a pussy he'd have get all emotional about it but no he gave you a heads up to fuck her. That's a bro right there.
0100
Realities_PoetryXper 3
+1 y
To many woman out here, and most are going to feel some type of way about it, especially if it's good friend... He may start thinking about it going forward with new relationship and become resentful toward you...
0100
Anonymous
+1 y
Get his permission before attempting to fuck her
0000
Anonymous
+1 y
Hit it and Say I never did it?
0000
Anonymous
+1 y
Nah you're good. I did my research - The bro code was kidnapped back in the 90's.
0000
Anonymous
+1 y
she is an EX... as such, she is fair game.
0001
Anonymous
+1 y
They already broke up. It's not like he's the owner of that woman the rest of his life and no one is allowed to touch her ever again because he once did.
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