Guys between 40 and 50, how did you know this younger woman you were attracted to, was a serious thing and not the middle age crisis?

[Anonymous]

[AustinMan]

By taking a step back and asking the hard questions.

[Asker]

Sure... It could also explain some distance he puts to think about it.

[Anonymous]

Because of her behavior.

[Asker]

It could be middle age crisis even if she is perfect for him.

[Opinion Owner]

From his perspective perhaps. I just went through this exact thing less than a year ago. I can offer much more information if you want.

[Asker]

Why not, let’s talk about

[Opinion Owner]

The girl that liked me was 22. She came after me hard and heavy. Staring, dirty jokes sexual innuendo etc.

[Asker]

Well to me it’s not a girlfriend material but it’s only my opinion.

[Opinion Owner]

Understand. Has this happened to your boyfriend or spouse? Where he is involved with someone younger or pursuing someone younger?

[Asker]

No. I am the younger one as there is about 10years gap.

[Opinion Owner]

And he is pursuing you? Do you want him to?

[Asker]

He is hot and cold. Very very very very shy with me. He used to glance a lot, he was obviously attracted, unable to really talk to me or talking without breathing. Inviting me out of the blue sometimes for a drink. Taking 2hours train to meet me for an hour. Then disappearing and avoiding me without a reason. He is not a bad guy at all and nothing happened between us. But I am still wondering why is he obviously wanting to be with me, and not only for physical reason, but also avoiding me each time right after a move.

[Opinion Owner]

Is he married or have a girlfriend?

[Opinion Owner]

He may be running hot and cold because he is taken and has moments of guilt.

[Asker]

I don’t know but it could be explain the behavior.

[Asker]

I remember once he was sitting in front of me and he can’t concentrate on his paper for an hour. I have never seen that in my life. If he has someone, he has probably problems with her because you can’t be so infatuated and be happy in your marriage.

[Opinion Owner]

If he was single he would be after you 100%. The hot and cold seems to suggest he is with someone but infatuated with you. When he sees you or is near you the only thing occupying his mind is you. Later, after you’re apart he is conflicted and plagued by guilt over his situation at home. My best guess.

[Asker]

You are probably right. But if so, he is wrong to act like that, either he is into someone else, or he is 100% with his girlfriend or wife. It can’t be both.

[Asker]

I have never done anything like flirting or so as I wasn’t into him. But I has always wondered why this behavior because as a friend we could talk for hours and have a lot in common.

[Asker]

*have

[Opinion Owner]

I am sorry this has happened. Do you want to confront him and ask him what his situation is?

[Asker]

No I don’t want that. It’s an awkward situation. Now it has been months since he proposed me to meet and really wanted to and then disappeared again. He didn’t ask for news. I don’t know what to think about and what could happen in his head. It could be black or white as he can miss me or don’t think at me anymore. So I was wondering if it was because of middle age crisis.

[Asker]

* of

[Opinion Owner]

You make valid points. He could well have pursued you because of a middle age crisis. I can relate to a degree but I won’t bore you with all the stuff that goes through our minds. It is difficult to know for sure his thinking but that is good speculation.

[Asker]

We can talk on private chat here is you want. Maybe your story could help me to understand mine.

[Opinion Owner]

Sure. I can follow you to set it up. What’s your profile name?

[Asker]

Darcy23, I asked anonymously but I don’t really care.

[Opinion Owner]

It's giving me problems in my search bar finding you. Try following me: JPrez

[Opinion Owner]

I think we're connected now and I sent a message. Not sure if you got it? I know with this site, sometimes you have to be a certain level or something for messages...