And if you have, why?
Prompted by another question I saw on here earlier: Do you think it ok for a woman to ask a man for sex?
Read over several of the comments and the majority of the men said they would happily say yes if a woman asked for sex. But what about the times you have said no- what caused it?
As a woman, I have had guys reject me for sex when I asked: yes, really!!!
Ladies: if you asked a guy for sex and he turned you down, did he tell you why?
Absolutely, quite a few times, actually.
A couple were simple issues of drunkenness. I don’t live like that, so I’d just tell them if they still wanted me in the morning, hit me up then, haha.
Others were usually either attraction or situational issues. Attraction is pretty self-explanatory (although I had some dumbass idea in my head in my 20s that I could only be seen with very attractive women, in order to drum up interest with OTHER very attractive women, which kinda worked, to be fair, lmao, but I look back on some of the perfectly fine women I curved, and I’m like “why did I do that?” I was on some “I don’t go for 7s” shit, as if I’ve got it all my damn self🤦♂️😂 But the situational stuff was more like “this girl is borderline, I’d smash but I’m not looking to date her and she hangs out in the same circles as me, so let’s just not even go down that road. I had to fake pass out to sidestep one chick, lmao.
The weirdest one was when I was roommates with one of the school’s big football stars, it was like rolling with a celebrity. The ease the women came with was like something out of a movie. No-effort hook-ups. They’d just show up, get turned out, and sent home, and they seemed perfectly fine with it. Blew my mind, haha. One day he asks me to wingman him and says there are these two Asian chicks in the dorms that we were going to pick up and bring back to our place. Tells me if I just smoke a blunt with her she’d definitely throw me some head…but adds “Don’t kiss her, though. She already sucked off 11 n——as from the team.” This girl was a freshman and it was like the fifth week of school. I wasn’t a math major, but that’s definitely a 2+ dicks a week average, and these are the dirtiest dick motherfuckers on campus, lmfao. So I just decided I couldn’t go through with it. Oh man…how to tell the quickest version of the story while still capturing the best details…. so, we hang out a bit, roommate and his girl leave for his room, I’m left alone with her and I’m trying to keep my distance. She asks if she can turn the light off in the living room, I say ok, she comes back over and positions herself in a way where she’s leaning on me. I stall and stall, my roommate comes back down, I’m like “phew, time to drive these girls home”, but I catch the ultimate curveball. The girl with me gets up, whispers to the other girl, she then whispers to my roommate, and all of a sudden they’re like “WELP, we’re gonna go to sleep”, and my heart almost stopped because he NEVER let girls stay the night. But I think he basically thought I couldn’t close and was trying to take one for the squad, which I appreciate, but It was not what I wanted lmao.
Anyway, I stall through the end of the movie we’re watching, then I try to just excuse myself to bed, and she fucking followed me to my room. Waited her out through a second movie, she finally fell asleep, in my bed with her leg over mine so I couldn’t move and get comfortable without possibly waking her up, and the coup de grace was when she ripped ass on my leg🤨🤨🤨 I was pretty fucking done at that point, lmfao. Next thing I know, it’s morning, all three of them are standing over me and my roommate is asking for my car keys to drive them home. The girl is like “um…so…it was nice meeting you…”, and I was kind of just like “yeah, you too.” Pretty sure she intentionally tried to leave her keys and school ID behind, but I saw them on my nightstand and was like “DON’T FORGET YOUR KEYS!”😂 I felt bad, I’m sure I’ve hooked up with girls who have sucked eleven dicks on multiple occasions…. but it’s different when you know the dudes attached to said dicks, y’know? Lmfao
Yes quite a few times. Well of course I don't know if every encounter would have led to sex but some definitely would have. Anyway mostly it's because I need trust and feeling like she understands me and some mental attraction. I was only diagnosed at 29 so I had a lot of uncertainties about who I was and about other people as well and women, dating, sex etc. were the areas I understood the least about. I was trying to understand more about myself and life in general because I was still figuring out a lot of things.
Being intimate with someone I didn't know much about and putting myself in a position where I didn't know what was going to happen and also revealing my lack of experience, awkwardness or being different to someone that I didn't have a bond with. It wasn't something I wanted to do. Sex isn't as important to me as caring for my mental health and figuring out my life so I just kept going on my path. Of course sometimes I felt stupid because the environment tells me I'm supposed to be getting laid and I'm stupid for turning down any opportunity. But I've always done things differently than most people and I had confidence in my own judgment and decision making.
Maybe in some years I'll be more relaxed about sex and be more free but for now I think I'm doing the right thing.
My boyfriend did before we got together. I only wanted him for sex but after the 1st time he turned me down and said he wasn't gonna be used. So we started hanging out without sex and it turned into a relationship
Sure. Not every man will be in the mood for sex when the female is. My fiance has turned me down plenty of times. I've turned him down plenty of times.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Yes, a few times.
The most blatant one was a drunk girl who I put ON my bed to sleep it off at a party, and a few hours later when the party was over, and I went to take her home, she was IN my bed, and naked, and tried to pull me in with her. I had a girlfriend at the time.
A couple of other times, they were girls who were just crazy (legitimately not mentally stable). Two of them were friends/acquaintances of friends, and one girl was a contractor from Montreal, Canada, who was being trained by us along with several other contractors. She'd apparently lost a pregnancy at one point and was looking for someone to impregnate her (I learned these details from one of the girls in the office that she was talking to), and she'd zeroed into me the first day and kept inviting me to do things with her after work.
I'd seen friends and acquaintances who had stuck their dick in the crazy, and all of the crazy drama that resulted, so I was smart enough to avoid making that mistake. Of course there was SOME level of temptation - guys don't naturally turn down sex - but I have self-control and a strong survival instinct, so I declined those offers/advances.
Yes I've turned down many women first of all because they're not my type the second of all with some of them I was in a relationship and the two other ones it's because they were too aggressive and I would say please stop and they would keep going and going until it pissed me off but in that moment I knew exactly what girls go through when a guy touches her and she doesn't want him to and it's f****** disgusting.. if I have to tell a girl over and over stop touching me and she thinks it's fun and games it pisses me off and I mean I've had to tell a girl to get out of my house leave you know I'm sorry but this is the way it is I don't mind joking around a little bit but when you keep going and going and think I'm actually going to change my mind you freaking crazy
And I have been asked by a couple girls where I said say what yeah right you're kidding me and they would say no they wanted to get f***** and I said okay no strings no nothing it's just let's do it all night and be happy and yeah so yes I've done that too
Technically yes, but she was clearly on drugs and not in control of herself.
Several times. Sometimes it was because she was drunk, once it was because I was drunk, but mostly it was because they were a fucking dog.
Twice.
First time was 1981. She was a nurse and we worked together in a psychiatric inpatient unit. We worked evening shift and employees sometimes went to a nearby lounge for a drink after work. One evening, she and I were the last two at the lounge and she asked to go home with me. She was smart, attractive, fun. . . and married. And I knew - and liked - her husband. Married people are always off limits, no exceptions.
Second time was around 2009 or 2010. She was a mildly mentally retarded girl and I had no desire for her in any way whatsoever.
Yes I have turned down sexual advances from women on numerous occasions. Most recently was a woman who was hitting on me at a wine bar. It just wasn't what I was going to be doing as it just wasn't the appropriate situation and I didn't really know her. She was very good looking but still it wasn't the right situation.
In college I turned down more sex than I actually had. I didn't want to get involved with someone who was going to be having sex with someone else a week or two later. I'd seen it happen in college. So I waited for a young lady who was special to me before I went all the way with sex.
Anyway, not making myself out to be some angel... LOL... Just saying that I've been careful.
I college, a gal randomly propositione me once. I was in such disbelief, I took a few seconds too long to respond. She took it personally and left.
I teach workshops on BDSM/run a large bdsm company but am in a more or less monogamous dynamic so have to say no to most. I’m also two spirit and pansexual so interact with multiple genders in this capacity.
Men are definitely a lot more forward/aggressive with it and more likely to assume your resistance isn’t a “real” no which gets worrying at times. Men getting upset about being rejected can get pretty scary though, they can be a lot more violent and prone to blackmail, stalking, threats etc in my experience.
Women tend to get embarrassed when they get rejected which can get… unpleasant if they’re particularly reactive. Since my reason is usually that I have a partner/not about them they are usually ok about it though. I’ve run into female stalkers but they’ve generally been creepy/awkward rather than violent.
Yes I have turned down a sex request 4 times in my life. Once from a stranger who wanted a ride…. She was cute but scary lol.
The other 3 times was from married women. That I couldn’t do.
Yea I turned-down a ho, but I did that nicely, and she was going for other guy after that. :)
Yep...
I've rejected advances many times. When I look at the most common reason, it would be a promiscuous past, or an untrustworthy and / or disloyal present.
Handful of times, yeah. Wasn't attracted to her or I had a girlfriend.
Quite a few girls who weren't attractive enough.
One notable girl who kept telling me about her sleeping around. That was a boner killer and I didn't wanna go near her.
I have done that before, yes.
Once because she was drunk and although being very forward and making the moves, I knew she was impaired and not thinking straight. It was tough because I did want to do that with her, just not like that.
Another because I did not have any condoms on me.
The last because I was seeing someone else at the time.
Yes. Why? Because I didn't want to be involved with her mess.
Yes, and I'd do it again. It wasn't straight up like a "hey wanna have sex," but they were obvious in their advances, since two of them were physical and only one verbal.
I don't date just anyone and I especially wouldn't sleep with just anyone. There needs to be trust and chemistry for that to work. One of them was my exact type too physically, but I didn't want to sleep with someone who is very sexual as a person, so I rejected her. For me, it needs to be someone I'd date basically.
I have, there was this girl I dated maybe freshman or sophomore year of high school. She was really nice but I never wanted to do anything sexually. One day she came over to my house and she tried getting on top of me and I tried to get into it but I felt like if I had done the deed with her that it would not have been fair to her and that she deserves for her first time to be special and with someone who will reciprocate those feelings 100%. So I turned her down and things ended shortly after
I've turned down my wife from time to time. Not often.
I've turned down sluts, married, drunk, and obese women.
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