Sexual Relationships
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Guys: Why do you act hot and cold?

For those of you who act or have acted this way, why? I've been casually seeing/hooking up with a guy for 6 months or so. Neither of us want a relationship, so it works out well. Lately (within the past month) he's been acting hot and cold. One minute he's super into me and desperate to hang out, but once we do, I don't hear from him for days or a week. We've both confessed to liking each other, but are content with keeping it casual. What gives? If it's just sex, why play push and pull? Not exactly convenient when I hit him up for a booty call and get a distant reply...lol Thanks for any advice! : )
We don't realize we're acting hot and cold.
Vote A
We're into you but afraid of rejection/showing our feelings.
Vote B
We get caught up in other things (work, other women, family, etc.)
Vote C
Other (explain in comments).
Vote D
I just want to see the results.
Vote E
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
1 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • I know what you mean, especially the fact that it's mutual from both ends (not like you are expecting a rship). My hook up guy was exactly the same which is why I quit him a couple weeks ago. He used to do the whole hot and cold, push and pull when there was really no need to. We both knew it was just a fling with no emotional attachment so there was no need to do that. I even confronted him once but it made things more complicated. Anyway, my conclusion is maybe they get bored after a while since it's nothing serious, hardcore like to play the field or have a new chick on their call list which they actually like, either way it's annoying!

    • Exactly...there's no need to! Well, it's good to know there are other girls out there that get just as annoyed as I do! Thanks : )

  • I run into the same problem. And have posted similar question. The problem is most people specially guys assume the girl is being used . Well not always ! There are plenty of us who go into these situations on our own terms and own it. You sound like one. It perhaps is intimidating to him, or he is insecure maybe immature. Is he younger that u? If he is being an unreliable booty call then replace him or put him In second place

    • So true! I definitely notice that assumption...especially on this site. Hence the answer below you...nothing against her at all, I really appreciate the comment, it just goes to show that in f-buddy type relationships it's assumed that the girl has developed or will develop feelings, not the other way around. I think you're right: he's not cutting the mustard as a booty call and needs to be replaced : P

    • Or have him on the back burner. Yea guys are so funny they send booty calls when they want and they get real pesky. But they act like oh so flakey when we do! Lol

  • Yes its just sex. He calls you and acts like he's into you to get some. Sorry to say, but if you wanted him to show you attention and actually care about your feelings then you need to hold back from getting physical until his feelings are formed.

    • Oh I know it's just sex, that's all it is to me, at least. Just frustrating when he's not a reliable f*** because he acts hot and cold : P

Most Helpful Guys

  • Honestly I don't ever act this way on purpose but I think sometimes my actions could be perceived as such. Most of the time I think those actions are because we are a bit insecure and not sure that the person we're acting hot and cold to likes us.

    • Hmm...I wonder if I've acted hot and cold without even realizing it...?! haha I read through answers from a similar question and that seemed to be the resounding answer, that the person acting hot and cold is just insecure and unsure of how the other is feeling... Sweet pic btw...freshman kid is one of the best memes lol

    • Being a Chemical Engineering major I can relate to the meme very well. It's also one of my favorites :D

  • guys sometimes are into girls intensely for a few days but then after a bit aren't as into you, it's pretty random actually.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 0

  • I replaced my booty call because of this sh*t too. It's just sex so why is he being so dumb about it. Do these guys not realize how easily they are replaced? We don't even have to lower our standards.

    It was always when he wanted it. But when I asked it was if I have time but if I didn't have the time he got all weird and acted like a jerk.

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