Guys...why do you get hard while going down on a woman?

[Anonymous]

My BF does...and I don't understand it...I don't really get turned on my giving him BJs...or is he not getting turned on at all but just something his body does? He claims that he never liked doing that before with other girls...I never ask him to do it...he always offers...I wouldn't consider myself prudish...but the thought of going down on a woman grosses me out...probably because I'm straight... I guess I'm just curious.

[i1T2daty]

Think about the sensations felt when making an attractive woman come. That is the only thing anyone of either sex can't replicate during masturbation. A lot of times we know our own pleasure points more than a partner so we can provide all of the same sensations to ourselves-including those we have been to uptight to ask a partner to for us. On this site, 80% of the members have come more often from jerking off than with a partner. The other 20% lie.

The single thing that can't be accomplished is the total turn on from a woman arching her back, reaching between her legs and spreading her lips so his tongue can reach your clit, or hear a hot woman scream, "of fuck, I'm coming, keep licking my clit and put your fingers in my pussy, yeah like that, oh fuck me that feels good, yeah baby, yeah oh fucccckkkkk..." when she comes. It turns me on so much that I have come just from getting a lover off. That can be pretty disappointing and I doubt I'd admit that outside of an anonymous forum but that's how much of a turn on it is.

[Asker]

Thanks...Wow...I really had no idea...I guess I feel like I'm cheating him now by faking it...maybe I should be more directive... by the way ...how long does it usually take you to get a woman off from oral?

[uuhhhh]

Yeah oral sex is sex, you know, not a chore. If you're not turned on then why are you doing it? Seems like that's a problem you should address.

[Asker]

It takes him long to finish because of the medication he takes...so it could take 45 mins to an hr sometimes...gets tiring...but when he isn't on his meds I can get him off in 5 mins sometimes so thats fine

[uuhhhh]

You're just making it sound more like a chore. Really why do you even need to give him a blowjob? If it becomes boring work for you that's just not what sex is about. And considering that if you just had sex he'd come too, and probably faster, AND you'd get something out of it too, then there really doesn't seem to be a point to it apart from this idea you might have that you're supposed to. But I mean oral sex isn't equal for men and women. Most women need it to orgasm, men really don't. If it's not worth the work for you, just don't do it, you really don't owe him that at all.

[Asker]

Yeah...I guess you're right...but he always asks me to do it...every time I see him...he's the first guy I've ever been with and I learned how to do it all from him guiding me along the way...so maybe he likes me giving him BJs more than intercourse...it's also less work for him

[uuhhhh]

You're in a relationship. That's two people that are supposed to meet halfway. And it's sex. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable. If you don't enjoy it, don't do it. Your situation to me isn't right. If he prefers receiving oral sex to intercourse, then there might be intimacy or openness issues. And he's using you, too, because you can absolutely tell when someone isn't enjoying themselves; if you care to look for it. Also, although that may just be a personal issue, the very idea of a guy asking for a blowjob is sleazy to me. At least tell him, I mean at LEAST talk about it with him and don't just do it because he asks.

[Asker]

He can't tell I'm not enjoying it...I fake it pretty well with everything...from intercourse to oral...I like the emotional bond it brings though...but it leaves me sort of frustrated cause I can't get off from him...so I usually finish myself in the bathroom

[uuhhhh]

Yeah that is just bad. That's not much of a bond if you fake it, don't you think? And if he can't tell that it's fake? You're looking for a relationship in the wrong place, sex should be the expression of something that is already there and already good. You need to say something about it, you really do. If at least he realizes that you're not getting anything out of it, things might change for the better. And if they don't well you should seriously consider finding someone else, because I guarantee you that not all relationships are like that. You don't have to be dissatisfied, emotionally or sexually, and you shouldn't be.

[Asker]

Yeah...I've been wanting to say something..but I lost my virginity to him and used to think most women faked it...I do feel a strong bond with him emotionally...and I do get some pleasure from sex...I just don't orgasm from him...I started faking it because before we started having sex he got really sad that I didn't get off once when he fingered me...and he thought I'd break up with him over that...so I didn't want him to feel bad... I try to rub my clit when we're having sex but he always pushes my hand away and says he'll take care of it...I just don't know how to tell him

[uuhhhh]

Just tell him, alright. It'll hurt his feelings however you put it, but you can't think about that. This is your LIFE, it needs to mean more to you than petty feelings do. While you're protecting his pride you're not only doing yourself a great disservice but your relationship also. Just tell him. The best that can happen is a more fulfilling sex life (and relationship because it's related), the worst is breaking up a relationship that you're not satisfied with anyway. You have to do it.

[Asker]

I'm going to consider it...but really...sex isn't that important to me...he treats me really well and I love him...we are planning on getting married...I figure that I can always get myself off so what's the big deal?

[uuhhhh]

Well the worst glaring problem has nothing to do about sex. It's completely dishonest of you to fake your way through anything and make him believe what you think is best for him. That's a lie, a big one, one that makes it impossible for him to ever get better as a person because you don't want to deal with the consequences of his feelings being hurt. The very core of a relationship that works is honesty. The core of a connection, of love, is honesty. You say you love him, but you're lying to him. Is that what your love means? Don't think a marriage can be built on shaky foundations like that. You can't even communicate your feelings to him! If there's no real exchange, there's no relationship. And like I said sex is a pretty direct expression of a relationship. Whether you care about it or not, what happens during it is a symptom of your relationship. If it's not good, then there's something wrong at the source. Don't make the mistake of thinking it's just something on the side.

[Asker]

Wow...I never ever thought of it that way...you're 100% right...maybe I can just stop faking it instead of telling him I have been all this time...

[Asker]

I feel like such a horrible person...I guess if he breaks up with my than it's my own fault...

[uuhhhh]

You're not a horrible person, just misguided. I'm definitely not trying to blame you, and although that won't stop it blaming yourself is a waste of time; you're not the only one responsible either. Just consider what's right, and make things right. That's what matters. It's the least you can do, and then you can work from there on something that's real.

[Asker]

Thanks for your advice...that was really life changing...I appreciate it so much!

[uuhhhh]

Well I'm glad I could help and I wish you the best.

[yawst]

why do some girls not get turned on by anything.

[Troian]

It's about giving pleasure :)
My boyfriend gets turned on when he does it and I get turned on when I give him a blow job.
It turns me on to do it and to see his reactions.
And as for my boyfriend, what turns him on the most is to see and hear my reactions so when he goes down on me, it turns him on :)

[Anonymous]

Because him being able to turn you on turns him on. It's a mental thing.

[islands7]

Yes, but there's other things that affect getting turned on more and quicker

All my gals past got horny off BJs + they loved the control benefits

[indian_empress_91]

Thank You for asking this question =)) lol

[Asker]

You are welcome!

[kheserthorpe]

I'm surprised you don't tbh. Even when my wife is grumpy and acting like 'this is all for you i'm not in the mood' she still gets wet giving bj.

Yes, its normal to get aroused giving oral, though its also normal to not stay hard the whole time if there's no stimulation. though you may be mentally aroused, the physical comes and goes without stim.

[kheserthorpe]

So you don't get aroused giving him a bj, and you don't get pleasure from him giving you oral. Are there any things that do arouse you? Do any things give you pleasure?

[Asker]

I only get off when he rubs my clit because I am able to put pressure on my pelvic muscles by doing a low boat pose and lifting my legs up a bit, which I can't do during sex. That's how I had my first orgasm and can come without touching myself...but without the isotonic muscle contraction I haven't been able to get off

[kheserthorpe]

Your legs need to be together? can he lick your clit while in low boat pose? and... i am now literally going to go do a low boat pose in a meeting room and think about this. yup. brb.

[kheserthorpe]

If you stand, slightly bent over with say your hands on a table, or elbows or something, can you flex and engage the same muscles?

[Asker]

Lol...yes...my legs were together and I was in low boat pose but also lifted my legs up and down very very slowly...then all of a sudden it started to feel good so I kept doing it and orgasmed...I had no idea what happened but kept doing it...let's just say I was a really late bloomer...I wonder if it works for guys..let me know

[kheserthorpe]

well i wasn't stimulating myself lol, i was trying to explore pelvic floor flexing and what positions migh work. feel free to keep saying stuff here or message me, i'm interested in physical aspects of stimulation, impact of pelvic floor on orgasm (i know some interesting stuff about men and may be similar) and core poses lol. You deserve a good sex life :)

[Asker]

Here..this is what I did sort of...but I moved my legs slower...I've never been able to do it standing...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdPSG82CE3Y

[Asker]

Thanks

[kheserthorpe]

Yeah i understood. I just suspected you could flex the same group of muscles. It seems to me that you probably need a few key muscles flexed to orgasm, and you don't have direct control over them, and they're not firing on their own. When you tense everything from inner legs to abs you're hitting the right muscle. You can probably: - find other positions that let you do it which might let you orgasm during sex or oral - learn to flex fewer muscles isolating the key ones - you might start doing it automatically or if you strengthen the key muscles which might be PCG or whatever, it might happen without conscious effort.

[Asker]

Yeah...I'm going to try that tomorrow when I see him...thanks!

[kheserthorpe]

well play around tonight, perhaps... with a finger inserted. And see how you can flex that area. by the way , can you do kegels?

[Asker]

I've never tired kegels...maybe that would help...and yeah...I've tried to have an orgasm by myself with my fingers simulating a penis...sort of and it worked...but it took a while...maybe I'm just impatient and have to wait.

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

Because they get turned on

[utopianromance]

I think there are some pheromones in your natural vaginal secretions that activate our hormonal endocrines?

Just kind of repeating some stuff I've heard, but it also seemed to work for me, or I just loved having sex with and pleasing my woman, her body just turned me on.

[TadCurious]

This is a good question, and reflects the unfortunate fact that a lot of girls don't understand that most normal guys really really like going down on a girl. I wouldn't be surprised if your BF is already hard before he starts. But it's a huge HUGE turn on for ME to go down on a girl. I can understand why it's hard for you to get that, because like you say, you're straight. But from a straight, normal healthy guy's point of view, pussy is amazing. The taste, scent and complexity of your vulva, it's all great!

[lkjhg69cum]

Because of the absolute pleasure that I'm giving her. I get off getting women off. It's so damn hot! Also I just love pussy, just seeing it is great, but getting to ouch, play with, taste, and smell it besides feel it with my tongue... DAMN! I'M hard just thinking about it. Lol. Guess I'm going to have to go Ind someone to devour now.

[John83]

I get hard going down on my girlfriend. The smell is a major turn-on and so is the thought that I have my face in her pussy. I can see why it doesn't turn you on. I am straight and totally grossed out by even the thought of going down on a guy. Vaginas are sexy to me, though.

[catguy]

very few things are hotter in this world for a straight man than a face full of pussy :P

[Daph81]

is that why you choose that particular avatar? So you can have a face full of pussy anytime you long on to GAG?

[catguy]

uh oh, you got me. :P

[slsmith0]

The smell taste and being able to make you squirm

[Dragan]

Cunnilingus is very exciting for most guys.Intercourse after cunnilingus is always better.

[mario1321]

Because we get pleasure from your pleasure

[GoldCobra]

I fucking love going down on a woman. I love watching her face and seeing her moan

[Anonymous]

It's quite hot to be able to pleasure your partner, and know that your magic is having an effect on her! In fact, the more foreplay I'm giving my partner (sensual massage, skin scratching, whatever), I find the hornier I get!

[Anonymous]

It's not something I would like to do but if I did it I guess it would make me hard cause I'm giving her pleasure, the same as touching/kissing boobs, it's nice cause it gives her pleasure

[Anonymous]

It is a very intimate thing. I would say for me personally, the single thing that gets me turned on the most is making her moan and orgasm with oral or intercourse. That gets me hard enough to scrape the bark off a tree. I really couldn't understand a guy that wouldn't get hard when going down on his girl.

[Anonymous]

Her pleasure turns me on.

[Anonymous]

Because it is sexually exciting to be that close to a pussy. What's not to like?
Because pheromones that are plentiful there arouse me.
Because I am getting a good response and being drenched with fluids.

[Anonymous]

Because it's awesome. I always jerk off when I am going down on someone.