Guys: would you date a girl that slept with a lot of men?

[Anonymous]

In other words, would you date a girl that had a high body count over 10 or over?
also, why would a man ask the girl he’s seeing how many men she slept with?

[WhiteSteve]

Yeah, that’s whatever. Is 10 REALLY that crazy? Like if a chick is 30, why would I trip about that? If she’s only 18, maybe there are some issues there, not so much with the sex but the reasoning behind it, but I’m over 40, I don’t date 18 year olds at my age lmao. In my experience, dating someone almost certainly means having sex with them, if they last more than a few dates anyway, so you’re otherwise basically expecting these women to have barely dated at all, and I just don’t understand that. Like how many relationships fizzle out after a few months? A ton, right? So you’re also asking for some kind of clairvoyance from people to know if a relationship will last or not. I don’t think people often jump into bed knowing they’re going to be sick of everything about this person in another four months, lmao. I know some people have religious influence involved, I’d never knock that and I respect the discipline they have, but I feel
like we really put so much unnecessary pressure on ourselves in dating. Just date and see how it pans out. We’re all just out here tryna get a nut at the end of the day. I just think it’s highly unrealistic to expect any of ourselves to just always pick the correct people to sleep with without error or regret. Our society is so hypersexual but so repressed at the same time, it’s bonkers. We all think about sex every day, either directly or just ogling attractive people on commercials or tv shows or movies, I just don’t know why we assign so much shame to sex... and then we wonder why people are weird about it. I’m not saying we all need to be going around fucking anyone who will let us, I’m just saying no one should really be keeping score here, this just isn’t that serious. And not to Point fingers and single out men, but everyone is cloaking their own insecurities about their attractiveness, their dick size, and their sex game with accusatory shit against the women. It’s such a transparent veil too, I see right through it. You’re not truly concerned with her character, you’re just weird about it because you’re afraid you won’t be her best or biggest or whatever, and the fewer partners she’s had, the better your chances are. Or they’re worried they won’t be able to retain her after the fact. There’s nothing “tainting” about sex, that’s lunatic talk. I’ll leave room for the devoutly religious as they’re adhering to rules they believe to be set by something bigger than human society, if they’re consistent with their own behavior I can at least respect where their heads are at. But the rest of us, let’s drop the whole Puritan act. We’re all imperfect, and there’s a lot worse things you could be doing that have much worse real-life impacts than consensually giving or receiving a dick-down, as long as you’re being safe about it. I’d love to see the world loosen up about this shit, it’s honestly kind of crazy.

[djmzes]

Simple

You can sleep with how much you want or stay virgin, it is your choice.
If the person who want to date or get marry to, is not into you, it is their choice and personal tastes. And face reality and accept the destination you have reached.

That all. If you want to blame someone for not reaching your goals is yourself.
You are the own creator of your destination.

[Alyssa11]

To each their own!

A real man won't judge you from your past but who you are right now in the present. He would understand that you're a woman with sexual desires, or maybe you used to make poor decisions about who you slept with when you were younger. Either way, he would get that life is a journey and while discovering yourself you slept with a lot of guys. Maybe you love sex - we all love sex it's not exclusive to men.

Men who ask about your body count are deeply insecure and egotistical.

[bamesjond0069]

Or maybe we learned in psychology class that past behaviors are the best prediction of future behaviors. Anyone can become a drug addict but a person who smoked meth 20 years ago is way more likely than someone who never did. Just like a girl who had lots of casual sex is far more likely to do it again which presumably in marriage she would never do it again.

[Alyssa11]

@bamesjond0069 Maybe she just had a lot of sex because she genuinely enjoys sex but never found a partner to commit to. Maybe she had a lot of sex because she didn't understand RSs and she was convinced that sleeping with men would get her a RS. I just think it's very judgmental to judge someone based off of how many people they've slept with without knowing their entire story.

[bamesjond0069]

I mean it doesn't really make a difference any of those specific reasons. Past behavior is the best prediction of future behavior.

[Alyssa11]

@bamesjond0069 Thanks for mho :)

[DizzyDesii]

Well glad to see some guys said no. Im not comfortable knowing a guy has been with a handful of people, let alone more than 3. If he's a virgin, perfect. If he’s not, hopefully he hasn't been with more than 3. Its not so much about if he's still std free/clean. Its the fact he lacks morals and self respect and gave his body to just anyone. Same goes for girls who just open up for more than a handful. Like hell no, i need to be in love and have a strong bond first

[Bram852OOO]

Me and my ex talked about littarly anything before we went into a relationship. Even about sex topics.
I feel like you should be able to talk about anything with your potential partner.

[RemoErdosain]

Ten is not that much, really. I'm sure most girls have numbers like that. That being said, if she were really promiscuous (I won't give you a specific number, nor would I ask her the number, but I would know), then I wouldn't date her.

As for those who say a girl's past doesn't impact the future, and that as long as they don't cheat on them, it's all good: Do you think the cheater will tell you that they cheated, or you'll just bump into someone on the street that will tell you she used to be a cheater? Truth is, sometimes that high body count is all you have to go with. In my experience, it's more than enough to realize you need to get away

[DannyUk2017]

I would, what is got to do with the body count if she is clean?
I mean the more experience the better, no?
I heard many guys, including me... that do you know this, do you know that... oh you don't know how to stay on top, oh you don't know how to play with it?
So yeah... the bigger the experience, i guess the better!.
I wouldn't mind... the only thing i would mind and get kinda freaked out is that i would start to "care" about her, and i don't want that if she doesn't want it! So it will be better usually if she would let me know what kind of "relationship" would be? Straight sex, affair, fuckbuddies, etc, etc...

[TruthBringer]

So it's mainly a sex thing. I would do it too if it were only for sex lol

[knottywriter]

The body count is honestly irrelevant. I just want to know she is clean and that I'm the one she is committed to. I want to be greedy about my woman so as long as I am the only body when with her I am good. As for one asking about how many... I would probably say they are wondering whether or not they have a lot of experience, maybe seeing if the count is zero and they are a virgin, or perhaps it is an insecurity thinking he might not be as good as other lovers have been.

[hellionthesagereborn]

No, the more people she has been with the less stable she becomes. Statistically the higher her body count the greater the probability of cheating, divorce, unhappiness in long term relationships, depression and anxiety, as well as decreased sexual satisfaction. None of those things are particularly good for a relationship, all of them combined is just asking to have your life ruined.

[TruthBringer]

Careful with spitting facts. They are going to call you a "misogynist" because they don't like these facts since they upsets their FEELZ

[sadMeester]

@TruthBringer To be fair there are a fair number of misogynists on this site, don't be too upset at people occasionally assuming the worst.

[TruthBringer]

@sadMeester At the same time, that word is thrown around very easily.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@TruthBringer To late for that. I get accused of that all the time, or accused of being a "virgin loser who can't get laid/bitter and angry because women don't want you etc. etc. etc.". That is many women's go to when you dare to question them and suggest that they too are human beings. I'm quite use to it.

[centerline]

If I was attracted to her I absolutely would... and I would expect to be involved in helping to raise the count of the number of men she has slept with...

do you have any reservations about sleeping with a guy who has had many partners?

as for someone asking someone else how many sex partners have you had, that is a question that gets asked by girls as well as guys... it means nothing other than being a small indication of how experienced one may be... so yes, unless you get off on hearing about sexual exploits of others, why ask? some of us do like to hear about the sex others have had for some odd reason... just simply for the entertainment value I suppose.

[Novacane]

Yes, the people that she was within her past has nothing to do with me, therefore who am I to judge what she has been through. The same way I would expect them to not judge me for my past.

[tzdc21]

10 would be an area of caution for me. 20 is a no go. And men ask that question because that is part of the vetting process for looking for a long-term partner for men. Men are instinctively disgusted by having a promiscuous woman as his lifelong partner and/or the mother of his child, and I'll spare you the reasons why. But I'll say this, if you have a high body count, that tells men that you have a bad past and are not a reliable option for a relationship in the future.

[Berethor]

I don't think so, it's too slutty in my book.

[abc3643]

I did once - sort of - I would not do that again.

[normalice]

Id rather date a girl who knows from experience that she likes the things i want her to like than a girl who doesn't know and ends up merely going with it just to get into a relationship.

[TruthBringer]

For short term please? Yes.
For a long term relationship? NO.

Studies have shown that the higher the body count of a woman is, the less she is able to pair bond with a new man and the more mental and emotional issues she has. Promiscuity RUINS women. There is a reason why more conservative women are overall more happy.

[RemoErdosain]

Truth spoken

[KrakenAttackin]

@truthbringer. Yes, absolutely correct. But let's wait for the soi Boi's who will start to chime in saying "it doesn't matter at all" and the women who will flat out reject that being a whore allows you to still be a good housewife.

[gypsy_rose]

Guys seems to have a problem respecting a woman with a high body count- even if they have their own high numbers.

And... this is why she will lie to you about it.

[SilverRain92]

Liars are the worst

[gypsy_rose]

@silverrain92 No, people who judge you based on a number are the Worst...

[SilverRain92]

Why do you think that they necessarily judge you. The question was "would you date". Guys have a right to decide whom they would date by themselves

[SilverRain92]

And there is nothing bad about it

[gypsy_rose]

@silverrain92 No one has the Right to know anything about anyone. It is a privilege to get to know someone. Body count shouldn't be an issue on either side if we are both here, moving forward. Who asks about body count anyway? No one has ever asked me that, nor would it be appropriate in any situation.

[Barbaric]

@silverrain92 This is why you have to figure out how to tell without asking the number. Women with high body counts tend to have a certain attitude towards sex and life in general, which is the real reason men want to avoid committing to them because that's the thing that makes them no good as long-term partners. And they show signs of this even when they're trying to hide it. In fact the easiest way to get them to reveal this is to be better at lying than they are and to pretend like you're completely non-judgemental, like you don't care at all about their partner count - the only time they lie is when they think you do.

[gypsy_rose]

@barbaric You're right, but wouldn't it be the same with men as well? I think it goes both ways.

[Barbaric]

I'd think it probably is but it's also hard to say because most of the studies which have been done on the link between number of sexual partners, likelihood of divorce and marital satisfaction have been done on women. It would be interesting to see the male equivalent, because there are some differences between men and women after all.

[bamesjond0069]

Lol if a girl wouldn't answer she might have just said 1000 because im not going to go there.

[bamesjond0069]

A girl should be proud of her answer. And if she's not then maybe she knows she's damaged goods.

[gypsy_rose]

@bamesjond0069 She'll be proud of her answer as she's lying to you! Because it's none of your business.

[bamesjond0069]

Well if its not my business, i mean she shouldn't ask if im employed or to my financial status. Its not her business. Maybe once were married id let her know i have no job and 3 child support payments and 50k in credit card debt. Even then its none of her business.

[SilverRain92]

@gypsy_rose Guys have their own standard, you don't have a right to tell guys how they should choose girls and which questions they shouldn't ask. It's guy's issue, not yours. If a girl would lie and later guy would find out it's definitely would be break up. Nobody wants to deal with liars. So instead of that it's better for girls to tell the truth in order to find a guy who wouldn't care about body count

[SilverRain92]

@Barbaric, haha, thank you. I would try to use your advice 😉 I don't judge such girls though, it's their right to do so and I talk to them too. Just it's better know about such things from the beginning before making decision

[SilverRain92]

I think it's a guy's business if he and this girl are about to date so he can ask her any questions

[gypsy_rose]

She could lie and you would never even know... People do it all the time.

[SilverRain92]

Liars always get found out in the end. The consequences of such lie may be disastrous

[Paige90]

I have had sex with 11 guys and I am completely honest about it. In fact, I don't hide it at all as it's only a number. I would want any guy I date to also be open and honest with how many girls he has done. No one should lie about it.

[SilverRain92]

You are the best

[Levin]

I'd date anybody, but generally not.

[guitarguy1995]

"You can't be giving up pussy cause you mad. If you a 10 but you bop then you half"

G EAZY

[FGV997]

Definitely.
Past sexual activity isn't an indication of anything at all. As long as she didn't cheat along that body count, it's fair game.

[SjE78]

depending on whether we got on tbf... if we clicked sure...

[Reesep]

Yeah probrbly, unless she just wanted to date me to add tocthe count. But if she honestly wanted to date me and I really liked her than yeah

[slatyb]

Yes and no.

[wankiam]

never bothered me and besides it would be quite hypocritical to judges her for that when i have had a lot of fun myself