Guys, would you find it weird/ bad if a girl asks you to teach her how to have sex? Or be friends with benefits?

Question

Yes, I know it sounds crazy. I met a guy about 2 months ago, we've talked a lot. Met once in person. I've never had sexual intimacy with anyone because I've always been afraid due to trauma. We've stopped talking. Something happened in my life that I feel ready to be intimate. Is it alright if I ask him to be friends with benefits? What would you feel? Or think? Would you agree to it?

normalice · Accepted Answer

Fine, but I'd first try to ephasize that the only thing a girl really needs to do to be good at sex is enjoy herself. If she is trying to "learn sex" for any other reason besides wanting to enjoy herself (or at least pretend to), she is effectively unteachable. And if she does want to learn sex so that she can enjoy herself, then she already knows pretty much everything she'd need to know - with the exception of blow jobs. I'm more than happy to teach a girl how to give a blow job. But even that doesn't necessarily require that she give me one to practice.

That said, if she has trauma in her history, learning to enjoy herself may be more complicated than simply wanting to. It is the job of a boyfriend to walk her through that. Even if the term is never used, the time and attention is the same, and time and attention is why any guy wouldn't want to be a boyfriend in the first place. So, if a girl asked me in this situation I would know she was effectively asking to start dating and maybe was trying to ease herself into the idea with euphemisms and the simplicity of sex. My answer to her question would thus not be if I was up for a casual fling with her - that's pretty much always a yes - but instead my yes or no would thus be an answer to whether or not I would date her, though I wouldn't tell her as much since she needs the euphemism.

RealMarek · Accepted Answer

I wouldn’t be offended or anything, but when I was dating I wanted a real relationship, so I would have declined friends with benefits. My advice to you is that if you go for a real relationship the first time is more apt to be special than it would be if it is casual or without commitment. Also, sex is not rocket science. You can read up quickly about where men are most sensitive if you’re uncertain about that. It’s very natural and if you don’t hold back or put walls up you will be enjoyable to a man regardless of lack of experience.

BasedBaeBecca · Accepted Answer

I'm a girl myself haha.
But I don't think it's weird to ask, I think you can at least try to ask. Just ask in a way that doesn't put too much pressure on him.

I don't think it is a bad thing to ask, as long as both are on the same page about it. But he also has the right to say no! Don't take it too personally if he says no, you just want different things.

Apple1996 · Accepted Answer

No one needs to be taught how to have sex. It's a natural instinct

summiter · Answer

I think most guys would be honored to help you learn about sex. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin and to tell a guy that you are one. Just make sure to discuss and plan on birth control ahead of time

slatyb · Answer

Ask him. I don't know what I would do. I don't know you.

MementoMori777 · Answer

I wouldn't have a clue on the results here

LiamSawyer · Answer

I might agree to it if I knew the girl fairly well.

stratford · Answer

If he is attracted to you, he will probably find it a huge turn on and a compliment. I would love it if a girl asked me in a nice way.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

She’d learn quick

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

The first part of that question isn't weird, but the friends with benefits part is cringey af. No relationship = no sex.

Ironic_Method · Answer

Helping someone explore their sexuality is a ton of fun. Experimenting and everything! With cuddles after, usual.

Throwawaynowknow · Answer

Not at all but might I recommend you watch how to videos (they exist) or even read a book on the subject (again they exist and can actually be quite useful)

AydenHazor · Answer

It depends on the guy if he will be into it. It's a conversation you can have with him.

Alex-Snow · Answer

Well I have only had sex with three girls but I would be happy to give whatever advice I could... practice makes perfect.

smilelots · Answer

hi there we all have to learn sometime right.. to be honest one of the best ways to learn is to play with yourself and you will learn what turns you on and what you dont like.. try different things. even sucking on your fingers so when the time comes putting his cock in your mouth won't seem to different. to ask someone to teach you is a great idea and you should be ok with asking ,, its not a bad thing at least your wanting to learn and the more you try things and the more you do things different things the better and more natural sex will be for you and for him or her. I would say try and find someone that you trust and can talk about anything, and go from there. be careful and safe in all you do.. good luck and have fun. If i lived near you and you needed a ear I would listen for you.

Staximus · Answer

I would not have a problem with that, but usually one person always wants to be more than just friends.

jahaims · Answer

Everyone is different but if past trauma has stopped you from being sexually active maybe you should wait for a serious relationship instead of something casual.

kellytheman · Answer

Yeah I think if your really ready to be intimate with someone you like and sounds like you do and know him well he probably agree to it. He probably would feel happy and flattered that your willing to take a step with intimacy with him. I have had a couple friends with benefits relationships before and it a lot of fun.