Had sex for the first time. Is there something wrong with me?

[Anonymous]

This week I (21F) had sex for the first time. I've been seeing a guy for about a month and we get along well, but we don't like each other in a romantic way. I wanted to have sex with him, cause I felt ready and wanted to try it out. Overall, it was a good experience. It didn't hurt and I didn't bleed. Also, he's really good at it (we had done other stuff previously so I was kinda expecting this). It felt good and I was comfortable. But it also felt kinda "underwhelming" from and emotional point of view. Let me explain: usually, when people are about to have sex for the first time, they feel all kinds of emotions. They're nervous, shy, self-conscious, excited, worried, aroused and so on. But, emotionally, I didn't feel a thing. I was completely numb and chill. It was as exciting as going grocery shopping. I'll try and use a metaphor to get my point across: imagine you're at a café and are eating a really good cake. Of course, it tastes amazing and you like it, but you're not "excited" to be eating it. You don't spend all day thinking about the moment you're going to eat that slice of cake. And, when you're finally eating it, you don't feel "overwhelmed" with emotions. Yeah, it tastes good, but whatever. It's just a cake. I don't know. I feel like there's something wrong with me. Like, I will never be able to feel mentally aroused and excited to be having sex. I'm afraid it will always feel like meh. Or, maybe, I just have to get used to it. Maybe it takes a few tries. Or it's because I don't actually like the guy. Also, I suffer from depression and I'm on medication, so that may be the reason why I feel so numb. What was your first time like (emotionally speaking)? Do you think this is normal?

[deric_97]

Nah you just didn't loved him that time. If you really loved a man, the sex would be amazing. Because you want him to fuck you, and he wants to fucks you on an emotional level. How should I put this, you're excited to get fucked and he's excited to fuck you. I guess that's about it. But I haven't actually fucked a girl I loved soo, this is all my thoughts and opinion.

[Zally]

You just lack connection, they call it making love for a reason. You're just doing it wrong. And depression/maybe medication doesn't normally effect this. You'll find a guy out there and the butterflies and the pump of blood will overwhelm you and you won't even be having sex. Sex and love two very different things

[Anonymous]

That meh feeling is basically why I’ve stopped having casual sex. It’s just not worth the effort. Do it with a guy who excites you by just being around him and then it is amazing.

[Anonymous]

You're totally overthinking this shit. Stop making a drama, it was just sex and I do feel the same way when sleeping with someone just casually

[Red_Arrow]

You don’t like each other in a romantic way so why do you expect emotional excitement?

[Welshman2]

He obviously wasn't the right man. If you have sex with someone you love, it becomes truly amazing.

[NCricket42]

My first time was fairly comfortable. I was nervous, but not horribly so. It wasen't super emotional either.

You're probably a little unique, especially for a female, but I wouldn't go so far as to say something is wrong with you. The medication could absolutely be effecting your sex life though, especially if it's designed to control anxiety.

[zagor]

Did you have an orgasm?

It's likely because you just weren't that interested in the guy.

[oldoldold]

Sex with out emotional connection is just like masturbating but you have someone to talk to.

With an emotional connection it's exactly what you dream of.

[HereIbe]

Depression and medication can reduce or eliminate sexual pleasure. Lack of emotional attachment can reduce or eliminate sexual pressure. Combination? Certainly. You just set yourself up to be underwhelmed.

[mythreya18]

This is absolutely normal
Dont worry

[france1]

too much big bang theory thats not reality hun lol