Has anyone who has not yet had sex, decided to NOT have sex— ever?

I chose this picture bc I think it’s peaceful and bc I needed a picture. It’s mine. I like it 🤷🏻‍♀️
I chose this picture bc I think it’s peaceful and bc I needed a picture. It’s mine. I like it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Disclaimer: I understand sex is part of nature, most people will engage it can be awesome or beautiful it support life etc etc

This post is in no way meant as a commentary on Anyones sex life and. Certainly not Intended to persuade anyone in any direction. Having said that, I’m quite relieved to have decided I do not intend to have sex & luckily there are billions of people in the world who can happily take up the slack for me 😂 🙏🏼♥️

I don’t have anything against sex per se I just do not really care so much about it, that the idea of never having it does not bother me one iota, so it’s not worth the complications it produces snd bribgs with. And I do not think this is in any way bc I’m a woman. All my friends are utter nymphs 😂

My decision is mostly inspired by my somewhat outlier neurological tendencies. I’ve commented time of the immense value I put in directness in communication on a level that most don’t seem to want to bother with, whilst I am myself unable to operate w/ ambiguity in a level most seem capable of and or feel comfortable with.

Unhelpful that being direct has become part of a dating game, sold as “manly” as a result performed as a ritual proof of masculinity rather than genuine indication of a guys behavior. Often once “the prize is won”, veneer slips away & the games begin.

Directness is not only about trust & being Informed. It guards against poor matches. I’d guess majority of guys who think they “like me” for whatever 23 reasons, it’s really the 1 reason that other reasons add depth to.

Not to say desiring sex is a bad reason to date or you can’t desire someone & like them. I do think desire for sex changes our perception of who we think we like- esp why we think we like them, even who we think we are when with them.

Nor do I think it objectively terrible to date the wrong person & move on to a more appropriate relationship… cont*

YES.
Vote A
NO.
Vote B
SOMETIMES.
Vote C
UNDECIDED.
Vote D
OTHER.
Vote E
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
Updates:
1 y
I just don’t want to extend energy time, get close & realize it was hormones they are not who I thought or I who they thought. Some people play games & consciously pretend to be what they are & others they may not know, so not simply a matter of choosing well. Waiting till marriage for me, won’t work: 1. I don’t want to commit & end up being completely sexually incompatible & people have pointed out. There are things team work can’t fix. 2. A lot of of guys (NOT ALL) saying they will wait-
1 y
- have severe control issues that they affectionately call being traditional. (they are not one in the same) 3. I do not want to have kids. I would definitely foster or adopt but no birth. So overall I’m just relieved with my decision. Now there’s no being confused by people pretending to be into me or being confused themselves, lines of friendships will be clearly delineated, no negotiating with anyone about my body and it won’t affect anyone else. 😊 Curious if I’m the only one 🎈🎈🎈
3 8

Superb Opinion

  • Lovely picture. I know EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN. I never thought even another girl processed these thoughts as I did. Are asexuals a thing? Yeah they are, but I never got around to all their reasons. I probably should because they probably could make the best kind of friends.

    We don’t like people who follow trends and impulses. Someone high on drugs isn’t there in their senses. We want to understand people coherently on a true level without the clutter and noise of what their parents/ fake friends/ and society has poured down their ears. We want to find original people. We want people to recognize us not for our ‘shape,’ so to speak,

    more something that is no less than our mind and soul. It’s a real problem for guys to engage this because Vivant, biologically the testosterone drives them to be pro creators. It’s not their fault. I have always been fond of men so I can’t love just part of them. I don’t have that testosterone so I have to love them for all of them. It would be nice to find a guy who can somehow balance it- if you look at guys with their brothers, they can be super intelligent. My dad has mastered talking to me with respect and we have the greatest conversations. He’s one of my good friends ofc. If I could find a man like that it’d be awesome, but how can a man turn off his attraction that he had for you? He can’t randomly turn it off to listen to you, then turn it on again like a switch 😂.

    I see what you mean though, you just don’t want any confusion or heart ache- you can’t make them be what you want so you set rules for yourself, a life motto, a standard. I do hope some man can find his way past that to prove to you how great you are, and show his affection in any way possible.

    I respect your decisions though! So if you truly don’t want that. I get it, really!

    as far as my choice it’s been the big fence. I’ve jumped the fence to both sides many times on the extremes.

    I try to find people (and it can mostly be girls or some guys) who will compliment my brain and help me brainstorm new ideas with them

    but

    i also try to find people (always guys 😝😂) who would appreciate my physical nature as that is also a part of me in this life for a time. I embrace the feminine side because after this life, I’ll never have that. I have fun with guys- they can give a good time. They can give that ‘human touch’ that sometimes I really don’t mind at all. They can offer that masculine breath I like to hear and that real thought- this being is like me, but he’s much stronger and something drives him.

    We should take a moment to congratulate what men have contributed to society as they did have a huge obstacle such as sex and masturbation and obsession of sexuality, yet they were able to wear a suit and make comedy with other men, build society and be able to talk about their thoughts than just punching each other and critically problem solve. Some of our greatest inventors were men, Vivant, we can’t give up on them.

    Do I think today that women are surpassing men intellectually? I had a few thoughts like that. What limits women? From reaching mental peak? Many women have also contributed to society and they don’t have raging hormones that drive them. They do however, have emotions that not many of them can override. It’s the only real limit for women and the drive is the only real limit for men.

    I don’t think more inventions matter. We are getting somewhat carried away from the social world between people, animal, food and scenery. Also what connects them such as art and doing good for all. I personally have to add the meta verse in my opinion is a prosthetic limb. It’s fake and unfeeling. We don’t need it. Aside from all this talk on where our minds could bring us and the connection of people. Using the mind to simply understand another mind best way you can, is the greatest accomplishment, and sometimes we just have to be able to find peace with the people around us, and stop believing there’s a better thing- a better doll, a better robot, a better alien, and better person out of the 8 billion.

    Humanity is all we have. Don’t embrace bullying, abuse, or someone not trying their best, but embrace humanity in ‘women and men form,’ who have their limits; and I’m proud to be a human lady in this time and I’d never replace that for anything in the world. If my happiness is set for myself, then I truly won’t have a huge expectation for anyone and can enjoy the good moments we do find.

    I see the good and bad in both men and women, but I’m not gonna give up having the good conversations, the good sunny day naps with them, nor the good sex because that’s being human. I don’t have to love every part of it 24/7 but I’m gonna love it and see more of it as much as I can while I live out my limited time here.

    😂

    • I voted yes to sex at the end of my comment and realized it’s the wrong vote- whoops 🤭😂🤣 I wish you the best Vivant. Keep growing intelligently, find your peace, and a true appreciation for life, and maybe later down the line you’ll be able to experience the other side of the fence, even if it’s just once 🙂🤝

Most Helpful Girl

  • There might be a few out there.

    for me, it would be a torture to ever be with a love one in an intimate relationship to not have sex.
    this also sounds like…it’s the unknown…therefore…I want to keep it that way. = fear.
    if we never try an apple, we would never k ow what it taste like. Can I live without eating an apple…sure.
    can I live without love - no.
    Proper, normal adult love between m/f includes sex, touch, hugs, communication, togetherness, etc…with both open their hearts to trust to give to commit.
    FEAR will destroy love.
    that especially came from parents hurting their child…that child will grow up to fear. That child may never know what love is.

Most Helpful Guys

  • While your decision seems shocking in our place and time, in the context of history it is not so uncommon. In many cultures, certainly in east Asia, India, Arabia, and the West (both before and after the Gothic cultural revolution), there have been people who for one reason or another swore off sex. These most often entered a class of scholars, clerics, or monastics. The people who made such a choice were often ones who were highly intelligent or had somewhat atypical patterns of thought.

    I expect we will see an increase in the number of people who make this sort of choice. Those who make it will each have their own reasons, but it is bound to happen because of the context of the West’s cultural decline. When great cultures decline, the fertility of its people, especially in the cosmopolitan cities that tend to rise in mature cultures, collapses. There is usually a phase of sexual libertinism that is ironically not fertile, but this is followed by a decrease in coupling and sexual activity altogether. And in the West today, statistics suggest that this decrease is at hand. We think of American culture in particular as being hyper-sexual, but in reality it is already more onanistic than sexual, especially in our urban centers. Our elites do everything they can to destroy genuine community, forcing rootlessness, mobility, and mass consumerism on the most productive members of the populace in order to accelerate the growth of their own wealth. Given the late stage of Western civilization, this is unsurprising, nor is it surprising that formation of sexual relationships is fraught with risk in these unstable circumstances and will be avoided by an increasing number of people. This has happened before historically, and it is happening again.

    But back to your decision, I would only suggest that you pursue whatever path gives you the most peace of mind. And if you happen to meet a special man with whom you have an intuitive sense of understanding, attraction, and trust, perhaps be willing to reassess in that case.

  • That's a nice picture. The composition, the colors, the way the trees fade to a point, the puffy clouds. It's even close to the golden ratio both horizontally and vertically.

    Anyway, I can't answer the specific question because I don't qualify as "not yet had sex".

    I don't understand why this is something you have to decide to not ever have sex. Accepting the possibility that you may never have sex is one thing. But why decide your entire life decades before you get there?

    In a way you are putting the cart before the horse. Yes, hormones can influence who you are attracted to. But the other way around is true as well. Liking someone is a hell of an aphrodisiac. So it goes both directions.

    It's true that it can be hard to separate the two. But it's kind of a package deal.

    • Oh I know it goes both ways that’s why I don’t want it. I just don’t like the way attraction colors over everything & no one is what they seem to each other—INCLUDING me. mostly I just don’t want there to be extra incentive for any one to waste my time. Even by accident If I changed my mind in the future it’s ok this isn’t a vow, but as of now it’s a decision and something I’ll be honestly able to say to people who want to date me/if they do. It will help avoid attraction based interest vs friendships. Just simplifies a lot for me but I’m not down on sex , I just don’t want games. Re: the picture Thank you !! ♥️🙏🏼

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 31
  • I've never had sex for reasons that I mentioned here several times. I'm curious about it and maybe it will happen when I'm 85 😅😅

    • 😂 SAME SIS maybe 80 🙌🏼

    • Well you still got more time than I do 😅

  • I have had sex and I can't imagine what life would be like without having that experience.

    • I can understand that. I’d probably feel similarity if I had 😊😊

  • I did lot of that… avoided, decided not to date but didn’t make firm decision. It wasn’t about sex sex was side effect of connecting.


    You are in same boat as nuns. Sex is just energy… wired into your brain as high priority in life. Mind can overrule… but the quest for self fulfillment and love is very strong and love.


    A lot of the rational is fear of problems and pain…may be real or not. It’s life and choices


    If you got past sex it get you to other things. It’s not that big a deal as it’s made. Love security connection satisfying life at more so. The sex can make offspring which is important decision…you’ve made. I swore to never have kids. I regret that now I’m past other hurdles.

  • Well the plus side to your thinking is that you certainly won't be driven by hormones. And if this is the way you feel about it then that is fine. We are all individuals and it is good that we are not all the same.

  • Yes, there have been people who chose to live acelibate life based off faith purposes. Like Jesus he remained a virgin all His life, there are nuns who take an oath to remain pure and there have even been men known as eunuchs to do the same.

    • I didn’t think I’m taking a vow, more like along hiatus from involving it in my decision making process. I suppose I shouldn’t say “never” but for now no. And not bc I’m waiting for the right person just no. Perhaps I feel it creates too much distraction overall for multitude of reasons.

    • 😊😊

  • Undecided / Never had sex

  • I don't wanna have sex because I'm a virgin. I can't overcome my virgin's embarrassment. Virginity is so overglorified lmao. I'm afraid I won't be able to keep up with those expectations.

    • Hmm I do t think I’d worry about this AT all bc it’s def true a guy (or girl) who really cares is just gonna be happy you’re sharing with him no expectations there really are good people out there— and if he doesn’t if you feel at all uncomfortable then he’s not someone to do it with. If that’s the only reason you not want sex it’s all good you’re fine 😊😊

    • Yeah, but they make all kinds of assumptions like me being goody two shoes or person who's unapproachable or unhappy... Stuff like that. There are men who'd date me just because they want to be the one to be my "first" 😩😫 🤢

  • I just don't want to feel forced into it. Gonna see what happens if I get into a relationship and play it by ear.

    • Yeah basically I’m this way normally but for now I’m going to go the extra mile and say I’m not doing it period. Tho perhaps I shouldn’t say never lol never is longggggg time 😛

  • I am asexual

    • 😊That makes sense. I sometimes wonder if I am.

  • You have a distorted view of sex and relaxing if you think it's a prize. It's a form of intimacy and a crucial part of pair bonding.

    Live however you want though. I don't Really care what you do or don't do with your vagina.

    • Who said I see sex as a prize? I wasn’t asking your permission lol I was asking if you had considered doing so. Not sure why everyone thinks I’m asking for advice. Just sharing and you don’t have to 😊

    • You said it was a prize in an earlier comment on this post.

  • @vivant Yes its me 😞😢, I Swear !

    • And yet you're posting sexual questions all the time... 🤔🤨🧐🧐🧐

    • @Jamie05rhs I Never asked any girl for anything, I just ask questions

    • Curiosity is not correlate with intention Jamie. I ask guys questions all the time yet I’m not a guy or trying to be one 🤪

  • Your typing/written communication is a bit hard to understand, but I think I get the basics. I would love to read a clearer rendering of your ideas. When you say you have decided to "not have sex ever" do you mean specifically intercourse? How about physical touch in general? Cuddling? I apologise if I am too curious, but this is an interesting question.

  • I waited until I was really into him before going there.

    • Perfect ✨

    • @vivant well, being totally blunt; who wants to allow any other person access to the most intimate part of us, unless it’s someone who is worth it?

    • For sure 💯

    • Show All
  • No, I want to do it at some point, but I just want it to be with someone special who isn't gonna just use me or take advantage of me, I guess. I know it sounds unrealistic, but it would be nice to share that experience with your forever person, I suppose.

    • 😊 It doesn’t sound realistic. I honestly think k there are A LOT of guys like that. I just don’t want to have to spend time determining what’s what lol

    • That's true, I know what you mean.. 😅

    • @VIVANT "spend time" lol. Aren't you like 22 or something? You have plenty of time! *Take* your time! 😅 LOL

    • Show All
  • I couldn't go without it but I could be patient for it. As nice as it is its only nice as long as there's a chemical connection with someone first. And it takes time to form that connection.

  • Waiting till marriage

  • Will make love only if i get married!

    Now about you're decision, i don't why you're being so harsh on yourself or why you took such decisions but it is what it is, people are different and i respect all opinions and self decisions...

    Thanks for sharing skyscrapper girl 😌

  • I'm not eligible for this question LOL :D

    • Def not 😅 lucky for you lol ♥️

  • Hmm; interesting...

    ... May I offer a logical rebuttal?

    "Waiting till marriage for me, won’t work: I don’t want to commit & end up being completely sexually incompatible."
    If you're willing to permanently go without sex, then why does it matter? If sexlessness is acceptable to you, than your partner not satisfying you should be irrelevant. Just logically speaking.
    In other words, if your relationship ends up being asexual, what's the harm in that? You haven't lost anything. Because you didn't want sex anyway. And yet you have GAINED something, which is a life partner! :)

    (Just my opinion!)

    • Also: "There are things team work can’t fix.". Like what? (Genuine question. I want to hear your true thoughts.)

    • Bc waiting till marriage presupposes there will be sex and if the sex is in inlays air it can lean it will be very uncomfortable including painful. No sex is superior to bad sex no contest. Terrible sex to me is not boring it is painful. So there’s id a huge difference.

    • @VIVANT Yeah; I understand what you're saying. But that's not what I'm talking about. You've always decided that you never want to have sex. (What you wrote above; correct?). So, what I'm proposing is why don't you just let the guy know that up front -- that you want an asexual relationship -- and, if he's cool with that, you guys can just fall in love and get married and live happily ever after. Without sex. As per your request. :)

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  • You do you Miss Viv. it makes you no less a beautiful person. much love to you!

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