Has there been a time you have ever felt uncomfortable with your partner's sexual preferences?

Question

What have you opted to do in a situation such as this?  Did simply communicating with them solve the issue?

fauchelevent · Accepted Answer

I've never been uncomfortable with a kink of my partner's but when we first began our relationship, as two awkward teenage virgins, I was deeply uncomfortable with receiving oral sex. It was something that he really wanted to do since he thought that he'd enjoy it and he wanted to make me feel good. My anxiety disorder combined with just naturally being nervous about doing all this stuff for the first time meant that I didn't often relax at the start, I think I was always tense when we were doing all the awkward fumbling stuff :P But I did want to feel good and be able to fully enjoy myself and it was something that he wanted so I wanted it too and I agreed that we'd try it. He suggested we try it for the first time with me kneeling over him so I had the control. That sounded fine to me right up until I was actually kneeling over him. That was when the panic attack kicked in :P I totally freaked out over it, I didn't know what to do, I thought I looked stupid, I was worried it'd taste bad or smell bad or look bad or be disgusting to him, I was worried I'd crush him, I was very worried about a bunch of different things as someone with anxiety is likely to be. Led to me beginning to hyperventilate, falling flat on my face as I instinctively tried to scramble off of him and me somehow tugging really hard on his hair. I then curled up and burst into tears, where I cried so hard that I couldn't speak or breathe properly for definitely over 15 minutes. Poor boy was terrified but I wasn't much better. Eventually, when I'd calmed down, we were able to talk it through and I explained that I just got ridiculously overwhelmed. He was finally able to dissuade my fears a little but I was way too anxious to carry on and I didn't want to try it again any time soon. We had to go back to the beginning, with a great deal of focus on keeping me calm and reassured, and basically had to re-learn everything until I felt ready to try again. Fortunately, that time I let him take the control with helped with my fear and I realised that there was nothing to be scared about in the first place and hey, now receiving oral is like my favourite part of sex and it's something I initiate or ask for a lot. I realise that it's not quite the thing you were asking but in our case, his patience and compassion was incredible and communication really was the key to solving the problem.

coralee · Accepted Answer

I was briefly with a guy a long time ago who liked to put his hand on my throat during sex. No squeezing or anything just the weight of it there It bothered me and I had a really hard time enjoying myself when he did it, but I was young then and didn't have the confidence to express that it made me uncomfortable. Anything to do with the front of my neck is a hard limit for me, I don't like the sensation and it feels far more threatening then erotic. Me not liking it had nothing to do with him, it was just a personal thing. As I get older the less inclined I am to put up with stuff I don't like. Communication is always key with anything to do with sex. I've had guys do it since and I generally just say hands off the throat. I've never had a guy get angry at me for opting out of a kink. I generally find the kinkier a guy is the more understanding they generally are about stuff like that. They know their jam isn't everyone's thing.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Im open to just about anything but yes there was one time he told me a fantasy of his he wanted to make happen and it made me very uncomfortable. We discussed it at length and worked through it and it turned out really well. Enjoy it very much actually.
Communication is so key with this stuff, you can't shut down on your partner aftet that. If you do you might as well call the relationship quits then and there. He/she will feel like they can no longer confide in you for fear of judgment and things will go down hill.
I'm not suggesting you just go along with anything your partner wants even if you're uncomfortable with it but you can't be judgmental about it, you have to have an open and honest conversation about it.

Cuteusernamehere · Accepted Answer

Nope. There's never been anything he's asked for I wasn't willing to try at least once. Truthfully there have been something's I was pretty sure I wouldn't like at all that I ended up liking. as long as you have good communication and trust your partner I'm not sure why anyone wouldn't try something (within reason) at least once.
He still has his 3some fantasy that will never be fulfilled by me. That was made clear 20 years ago, he still brings it up at least once every few month to make sure I haven't changed my mind yet and literally tried putting it on a Christmas list last year 😂

godfatherfan · Accepted Answer

depends on what you mean. If it pleases her, I am willing to at least try almost anything. As long as nothing goes into my ass. Although I am happy to fuck her in the ass. But I have had at least 1 relationship end due to sexual incompatibility. And it was a factor in 2 others.
For instance, I had a couple that would be against sucking my cock after I had already been inside them. ok, I get it I guess, although it isn't like it is dirty or gross, I eat pussy like it is my last meal and I find it yummy. it was that on top of not allowing me to cum in their mouth, on top of no anal, on top of a few other things.
The only major issue I had was I dated a woman that wanted sex to be 99.99% intercourse. Since most women don't orgasm from intercourse, that really surprised me. I just assume none of you women do. So I make sure to give my partner at least one orgasm from oral. Although truthfully, I love eating pussy so much that they usually have to smack the top of my head to get me to stop. I kinda go really slow after she orgasms and slowly build up until she has another... and another... then I finish myself off.
so we would be laying there watching TV. then out of the blue she would just take her clothes off or underwear off if we are in bed, and start pulling me on top of her. Sorry, most older men don't work that way or want to work that way. It is sad when a guy had to say the word FOREPLAY... lol... she wanted none of it. just wanted me to get on top of her and go to pound town. Although she, of course, would let me eat her out. but when I wanted a blow job, she would suck for literally less then 2 minutes. right when I was finally getting comfortable and enjoying it, she stopped and jumped on my cock. It got to the point I was so stressed by the thought of going to her house, I would just not. Or I would eat her out and just tell her I was good and didn't want sex. I tried to break up with her after the first week, then second, finally I ended it after 4. She didn't even do a "one for her, one for me" or just give me a full "cum in the mouth" blow job to make me happy. I want time to play with boobs, eat her out, get a little bit of a blow job before fucking her. Didn't have to be every time.

hellionthesagereborn · Accepted Answer

Yes, she wanted me to rape her and I told her no. That's fucked up, I don't want to hurt my girlfriend and be violent that's the opposite of what a man should be doing and the fact that she found that a turn on really bothered me. She also wanted to watch me have sex with another woman, told her that was cheating in my book and would not do it.(she let that one go thankfully).

PandaMania · Answer

communication. Set boundaries. Know what you will, won't, and want to try. If they pressure you then staff your ground. That's what consent is about.

Gypsy_x · Answer

With my current partner, we're pretty open to a lot of things. If I'm not in "the mood" for something he tries to initiate, I just tell him and its fine.

In the past, when I was younger and less confident, I would just go with it even though it made me uncomfortable or I wasn't into it. I think that was because I was immature and insecure.

Astoriana · Answer

I don’t like to be choked, and my ex fiancé was really really into that.

freakyzeaky · Answer

No, I have never been asked to do something all that kinky. I have a bunch of kinks I still haven't fulfilled, some of them are mundane, and others not so much. Personally, I am willing to try different things and push past my comfort zone in the bedroom with the right partner and if it is handled well. That is usually because my partner's happiness is important to me. I think this usually goes against the dominant aspects that many women expect in their man because part of being dominant is to do what makes YOU feel good rather than over thinking about your partner. Then again, so many women claim that their men don't think about them enough, so it is a balance that needs to be communicated about first.

Like if my woman had some crazy kinks like cutting, or defecating on her, or some other depraved act, I'd probably be uncomfortable and wonder why she has these sort of kinks. But things like anal play (me and her), light bondage, a bit of roughhousing, dirty talk, and the use of various toys, are more than fine and kind of what I expect out of a partner who is more on the sex-positive side.

Sara413 · Answer

I've been quite fortunate that most of my partners have been as vanilla as I am. My partner and I bring out toys now and again but mostly we just like having good old vanilla sex and giving each other oral. I don't think I could be with someone kinky. It's just not for me. I can handle a bit of aggression, some hard squeezing or light biting, no problem... But anythin beyond that I'm not interested in. And absolutely no butt stuff.

Nyx_85 · Answer

Three words.  Surprise. Butt. Sex.

Belgie · Answer

Yes. The first time, I was young. About your age. My girlfriend at the time had an unusual role play fantasy I was not prepared to deal with. While we wound up breaking up for other reasons, I learned a lot about human sexuality and fantasy from her, and from research to try and understand her.

JimRSmith · Answer

No - there are plenty of things I wouldn't do, but never been asked to do any of them.

Kait444 · Answer

I've always been open to try anything. I tend to have trouble finding guys open to mine

Vmm90 · Answer

I had this thing with a guy who was into some things I wasn't thrilled about but be cause of how I felt and thought how he felt I wanted to try new things with him.

beautifulangel76 · Answer

Yes he’s into a lot of butt stuff and that’s just not me. There’s some things I’ll do but I have a limit.

FemWorship · Answer

The one time she insisted on us using some "drug" her gay brother said was amazing when coupled w/sex... UGH & this/similar was never broached again.

Robsinsf53 · Answer

Absolutely, positively"NO, lol. That's not to say she's not out there.

SaltyJack · Answer

Usually just tried it and then told them honestly yes or no

CHARismatic110 · Answer

Sex in general makes me uncomfortable.

Nivinxus · Answer

Umm not really, though admittedly was a bit weird. (she wore a tail and things). Though to be fair, it's fairly tame from the rest of the guys' experiences.