Have you ever asked or been asked for permission to cum?

Question

I think both can be quite hot occasionally

Ziiva · Accepted Answer

Yes, both occasionally. Asking permission often happens when I'm in submissive play with a partner. It can also be fun when purposefully playing with edging :)

I'd like to stress talking about it with each partner though; I've found that guys "hear" different things when I bring up that I sometimes like asking permission to come!

Hopefully helpful insights from my perspective:
When a guy grants permission it's often as "yes, cum for me", which I do find very hot- it ties into my desire to please my partner & I like being *able* to meet their desire. But a couple of partners misunderstood the connection between what I found pleasurable and what they were saying. Again, I like *meeting* a *desire*, not so much the act of someone demanding things of me.

I can't actually cum "on demand". It only works to hear the demand "cum for me" *right* when I'm actually cresting an orgasm! And I time when I ask for permission accordingly. If someone is demanding it when I'm not close to it, it is actually really stressful; I can't cum on demand alone, and this is not a realistic expectation to have of anyone. Then my desire to please gets twisted with feelings of failure, frustration, and shame. All that emotional stress makes it harder and harder to build an orgasm and the negative feelings spiral exponentially. This is a truly awful thing to experience at any time, but can be even more psychologically harmful if I'm within subspace.

Knowing this about myself, I am careful when encouraging or scene-demanding it from someone else. Telling someone I want them to hold themselves back from cuming as long as possible and then to ask my permission only when they don't think they can hold back much longer has given very satisfying experiences without psychological turmoil, for both people involved.

Another thing I would suggest when experimenting with this is to explore pleasure without orgasms as the end goal. This takes some practice but can be really freeing- especially as a female. Many women, myself included, have difficulty cresting or can only do so from one specific kind of stimulation. It can be tiring because of this. The more my current partner practices finding pleasure with me, the more satisfying he is finding it and his pleasure & sense of success as a lover relies less & less on the number of orgasms he can wring out of me (although we do occasionally play with that too), and more on the quality of our play.

THEN, when I do feel like I can't hold back from cresting & ask his permission, it's bonus-hot for each of us!

For us, it's the *contrast* of not expecting (or needing) it that makes it super-charged ;)

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I find this so hotttt. Once when I had phone sex with my ex he told me I couldn’t cum until he said so. When I was getting close and asked if I could cum he said “yes, cum on my dick” I found it so hot and turned into an orgasmic puddle 😂💦🌊

Amsterdam0317 · Accepted Answer

first and only time my girlfriend blindfolded me she blew me. I got super close and I told her I was going to cum and she told me I wasn’t allowed to. It worked. About 20 mins later she finally told me I was allowed to and i shot a massive load. I don't know why it worked but it did, I wish she would tell me that more often and during sex bc it’s so hot to me