Have you ever been sexual turned off by someone’s personality?

Recently I discovered that a woman’s personality can offset my initial sexual attraction towards her and make my body reject her. I was with a woman I met online a few weeks ago who I at first was attracted to.

But her in person personality was different and she seemed off mentally and it turned me off. It was like my body and mind disconnected. While we were making out I wanted to have sex but my body wasn’t on board. It made me think back to all the other girls I had sex with and I realized in the heat of the moment I had strong feelings for those women.

With my ex for example, though I didn’t “want” to get her pregnant, while we had sex, in the heat of the moment my primal instinct took over and I wanted to finish inside her and I always did. It made me wonder if sexual attraction wasn’t purely physical for me and if anyone else has experienced this. I can see the most attractive woman but if I don’t see something attractive “within” her, something worth holding onto, my body will reject her.

Sorry this was long. Was just I thought I wanted to share.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I'd be worried about people where that doesn't apply. For me it doesn't apply in the media that much but I'm not actually dating and sleeping with them. It definitely applies in real life.

    What is "physical attraction" anyway? I would assume we are all trying to optimize something and that the way someone looks is just one input into what we factor into what we consider "attractive" or not.

    • Well, let's say the girl you find most gorgeous in the media has a putrid odor of rotting eggs and spoiled milk that emanates strongly from her body to anyone within a 10-meter radius. That would probably change your ideas of her attractiveness beyond the photos/videos you see of her if you come nose-to-nose with this odor, no? If so, we've at least drawn a link beyond looks to more sensory inputs determining what is attractive than visual inputs. I'd say we can keep going all the way to personality that's still applicable to most people.

  • Of course i have been before. But ngl some people can still be sexually attractive no matter what they do.
    Because in reality there body is still hot. So i would still be attracted to that. But even so i ain't No Simp.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Yes! It happened with my current partner. Found out some toxic traits and detached myself from him emotionally cause I don’t want to be connected with such a toxic soul. But then I need this spiritual connection with the man I’m intimate with and without it, it feels like there’s something off. So now my body disconnects too.

  • It's funny. This happens in reverse... If you speak to someone before seeing them and you enjoy talking them. You are compatible, etc. When you meet them in person, if they are not attractive you are turned off. Everything you discuss/and compatibility goes out the window.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Of course! I don't know what else to say. It's more true for women than for men. Maybe that's why you're questioning it. But even for men, they need to need see glaring negatives with her personality. That's just common sense - crazy, angry, weird, selfish, unstable... whatever... these people will all lead to trouble eventually.

    • I make an exception for "weird.". I like weird girls.

    • "But even for men, they need to need see glaring negatives with her personality." Oops typos. * But even for men, they need to not see glaring negatives with her personality. @Jamie05rhs Yeah you're right. Weird is not necessarily always bad.

    • :) .

  • can't stand cocky dudes, know it alls, smartmouths, or the ones constantly cussing. Automatic turnoffs

  • Guys often claim it's there lack of looks that let them down, its not, most the time it's their personality thats the turn off.

  • I can relate. It's definitely a turn off if a guy's personality is bad.

  • If there is any hint of "toxicity" to her personality... Turn off!

  • Absolutely yes

  • Several times

  • Yeah, especially if he's boastful

  • yes. to me a bad personality can make the most physically attractive woman suddenly be physically as pretty as a pile of puke.

  • Oh, yes I have. It's happened for me with a guy and me with another girl. The guy was just a total dumbass even if he was a hottie, I just couldn't go through with it.

    The girl on the other hand was total bitch, not to me, but to others.

  • Oh, absolutely. If I don't like someone's personality, they don't even get the privilege of being in the friend zone; they go straight to the "avoid this person at all costs" pile.

    • Damn. That’s where she is now...

    • Good. 👍

  • Omg yes we were talking with a lady online for a couple of months we scheduled a play date but as soon as we met her we were like naw
    Her attitude instantly was a turn off

    • I'm curious, what was she like?

  • Me for exemple i m attracted to smart guys even if they dont look handsome. I felt in love with my boyfriend of 8 years without seeing him in the 3 first months.

  • Yes.